About the Losing a partner category

A place for widows, widowers, and anyone who has lost a spouse or partner to support each other.

This is a space where you can talk to others who understand. You may also find our Sue Ryder resources helpful to you as you cope with the death of your partner.

If you are looking for in-person support too, Sue Ryder have just launched our Grief Kind Spaces.

Our Grief Kind Spaces are weekly, in-person drop-in sessions held in the local community and run by trained volunteers. The sessions provide a safe, informal and supportive place for people to come together and share their experiences of grief, helping attendees to feel heard and less alone.

If you’re not in an area with a Grief Kind space, or are looking for a different kind of support, you may wish to visit the AtALoss website. It is a directory of bereavement support and will show you what is available in your area. If you click this link then select your region, you may be able to find something near you.

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Can someone please help I’m feeling lost and low I lost my wife just over six months ago and I seem to be going backwards I now live on my own now and I keep crying and shouting that I need my wife back even though I know that it can’t be. I’m frightened and feel insecure I’m 56 and have returned to work but know longer enjoy it or have the energy I’m so alone

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Hello, what your experiencing is everything I have done, I am 6 months further on then you and I do get more good days then bad now so for me time is healing, I think a big part of grief is shock and this does subside.

I find going to work vital to keep my mind occupied, I also have a new routine that I try to stick too, when I have my bad days I know from experience they will pass.

I keep going because I have too and give myself treats to make me feel better as my husband would have done if he was here.

I believe I will see him again so make the best of things until that time comes.

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I so feel for you both. I lost my husband 3 months ago and it doesn’t feel real. There seems no point in anything , no pleasure and it’s so hard to get motivated. I used to love using various products, cleanser, toner, etc and make up. This is the first time I’ve owned up to this but I haven’t done any with my face for three months, not even looked at it, just don’t care how I look. I know he wouldn’t want me to be like that but can’t help it, just not interested now he’s not here to look nice for. Life is so different on your own isn’t it, it makes you feel like you’ve lost yourself and your purpose. Let’s hope that one day this heavy weight will lift . Sending love x

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Thank you guys for being honest. I’m 7 weeks at 9pm I lost my beautiful girl. She was only 53.
The doctors made so many mistakes and after diagnosis I got 2 days with her.
I know I’m in early days compared with lots but I’m forever breaking down.

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I can relate to your story I am 5 weeks since I lost my Darling wife Tanya to Cancer as like you our GP did not pick it up she had been going back & forth to the Gp for about 18 months they kept saying pain is in your mind then in July 2019 the pain was so bad she called a Ambulance & got into Hospital & they found out she had Metastatic Breast Cancer that had spread to the bones.
I have not only my best friend but my sole mate & I keep breaking down as I miss her so much & the heartbreak.
I have written a letter of complaint to the GP & gone above his head as we should be able to trust GP & Doc to get things Wright.

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It’s just not right. Like you I’m totally heartbroken. I mainly control it when at work then get home and no one sees the real me.
We trust the GP and my girl was a nurse for over 20 years not that counted for anything. Now 12 weeks down the road I still take each day at a time.
As I keep being told. Look after yourself. Difficult to do when broken

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Trouble is it’s hard to be bothered to look after yourself when you’re missing that vital part of your life, your soul mate. So hard! x

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Hi bjane
Yes it is so hard. Everyone says look after yourself but that’s the last thing your thinking about when you are in so much pain. Grief is so painful and disabling in so many ways. Just looking in the cupboards I see her stuff everywhere including her special dinnerware and cups. It’s so so hard.

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That’s just the word, disabling, it makes you unable to do anything. or have any interest in anything really, just going through the motions . I do what’s necessary and that’s all. Had to get my new cat to the vets today and just broke down, we always did those things together . Malcolm’s stuff is everywhere too and though it’s really upsetting to see it and be reminded I’ve lost him and it’s forever, I still get some comfort from his things. It somehow brings him back to me for a minute , doesn’t last long but really nice while it lasts. I sometimes hold some of his clothing next to my face and breathe it in and imagine he’s there with his arms around me. We’ll never stop missing them will we x

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I am only 5 weeks since my Darling wife Tanya passed away & our room has not changed she was in to crafts like glass engraving & candle making so there is lots of that in our room & the spare room eventually I will donate most of that to a local day hospice where Tanya went & enjoyed before lockdown but her clothes are staying until I have the strength to sort them out.
I don’t know if any 1 had thought about this bit we had Tanya’s favourite top put onto a memory Bear which is going into My Daughter’s Amy’s room.

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It!s hard to part with Malcolm’s things , feels like I would be erasing him from our history somehow. Maybe that will change but it hasn’t in four months! Don’t be in a hurry, you don’t want to regret it later, there’s plenty of time. Your loss is very recent and raw and I understand just how you are feeling. Sending lovex

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I am 3 years down the line from losing my long term partner to cancer. I also lost my dad that year a few months before. I thought I was coping but this past week has been horrendous, I am continually crying and feel so lonely. All I do is sit in his chair or lay on his side of the bed talking to his ashes which I have. Thank you for listening

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Your way ahead of me but the rollacoasta don’t stop. It levels out then you go down this massive dip. You talk to his ashes and do what you need to do to get you through the day. Take care

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thank you so much for replying. You take care too x

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You’ve had a double bereavement Rie, As far as I know grief has no time limit. It took me a very long time to get over my Dad’s death and you’ve had that and the death of your partner.to cope with. Grief can surface at any time and the restrictions of coronavirus have just made life so much more difficult for everyone, no wonder you feel as you do. Sending love xx

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thank you for replying, I am hoping that this is just a blip. Love to you too x

Yes, blips are definitely par for the course plus a rollercoaster of emotions, smiling one minute, crying the next. Take care xxxx

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I lost my partner on the 23rd September and all I want to do is be with him I don’t see the point in anything anymore I can’t sleep I can’t eat I can’t even get dressed all I want to do is be with him

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I too lost my partner of 11 years on 24 September. I am devastated as we were so happy and had had a beautiful day out, then as we had settled down for bedtime he had a cardiac arrest which was his undoing. We were so happy and enjoyed doing anything/everything together. I lost my husband 13 years ago to cancer, we had been together 36years and have 2 sons. I returned to work shortly after which was a big help coming to terms with my situation. Meeting Keith was an unexpected gift! I’m a month into life without him and am finding it all too much to bear. Early days I know but it hurts so much, I never imagined this could happen to me again.

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