I very much understand I lost my husband 3.5yrs ago and the tears still fall, just cannot get use to being on my own! I have done some volunteering and enjoyed coffee mornings locally! But at the end of the day you are still on your own when you return home, just a terrible feeling! Take care and try and stay strong! 
X
1 Like
I’m only 5 weeks in and I too am trying to keep busy but at the end of the day you have to come home alone. Its awful. I can feel panic building as I drive home. I hope it helps you as it does me that you are not alone with those feelings. Take care. Sending hugs.
1 Like
Hi there my name is gordon cooper lost my partner Michelle back in February everyday so hard for me I found her bottom of stairs and when I came home from work on 7 February so tragic 15;years together my one regret I never married her never got round to it she was my world so lost without her got a lovely friend she means a lot to me been some harsh words between us unforgivable ones which is not in my nature she so kind to me I am ashamed of myself it’s grief does strange things to you still unfair and incalled for
1 Like
Sorry for your loss I lost my partner Michelle in February everyday been hard since it’s.just me and my cat 
Mia we were together 15 years she was my world I have got a friend who has helped me so much so caring I have been more positive since joining this group take care always here for a chat you take care xx
First of all hugs to all I lost my hubby very quickly 13th ago with an aggressive brain tumour that should only affect younger people (I was told???) I also had memory bears made for our children (all adults) and myself I also have his jumpers hanging on the wardrobe door and his coats on the coat hook although I have given a few bits & pieces to charity
I would say take one day at a time the last 12mths for me are a bit of a blur I tried to keep busy and keep going as I have a son with special needs we had a couple of holidays in the uk and a weekend abroad very hard to do but we managed to enjoy and have a nice time
He kept checking “we been here with dad?” I deliberately chose places we had not been with his dad to help give him some new memories to help him through but I also took him to his dads favourite places to help him talk about his dad
Stay strong everyone and one day one step at a time
1 Like
Hello everybody,
I also feel so sad without my darling Paul who l lost suddenly 6 months ago. Everything does seem pointless because without him by my side l feel that there is no reason. I also know his greatest fear was that l wouldn’t cope without him. How to cope? I wish l had some answers for you all and that you had some for me, but l do know that our families and friends couldn’t take more loss, so, l will keep hoping that on this lonely journey until l am reunited with my beloved Paul, l will make him proud. Not right now - but next year and with the help of others, l’m going to do something to try to make it easier to help those who have to face this horrible loss. I may not be able to stop that inevitable personal hurt that we all feel, but if l can just bring people together in my community for company and a cuppa now and then it will be a small start.
I want to do something in my Paul’s memory. If any other People are interested in such a gathering please let me know. I am looking into it but l need to know that there is a need for such a group first.
It is in its’ infancy but l need this as much as others may. No grand gestures just starting with a get together of Widows and widowers for a chit chat, hot drink and a nice biscuit or cake maybe? The rest is up to everyone who comes together. Paul was the loveliest, kindest husband, Dad and Granddad and was just retiring at 67. It was to be our time. This is for all those local to me because l could find nowhere for practical advice and understanding and believe me l have searched in my area of South Wales. Does this simple idea appeal to anyone?
Keep safe everyone and remember how fortunate we all are to have known such love. x
P.S l hope this is acceptable to gauge interest and if not please remove or advise.
1 Like
Hello @Chris
I’m sorry for the loss of your darling husband.
My wonderful husband too passed suddenly and unexpectedly in front of me 6 month ago. He was only 65.
It really does feel like a pointless existence doesn’t it? but we try our best to cope especially for our family who are grieving too. I wonder at times how I’ve even got to this point.
I think your idea is wonderful and such a thoughtful thing to consider setting up. I think it will appeal to many.
I was directed to a private Facebook group covering my region (someone mentioned it on this community). It’s purely to make friends, meet up and support each other. What I also liked was that it was made clear by admins that it wasn’t a dating site. I haven’t yet felt ready to meet up however it’s obvious from comments that people enjoy the meet ups and camaraderie.
Yes we are so very fortunate
Good luck and kind wishes to you x
1 Like
Hello JlovesR,
Thank you for your kind words and thoughts. I too wonder how l have come through these past months. They seem to have gone by quickly yet it seems so very long since l held Paul and we were last together. What l would give to just hold hands or make him a cup of tea and sit together for a few moments. All those if only’s………
I hope you and your family have a peaceful, quiet Christmas remembering your lovely husband and those loved Ones that have gone before. I won’t be starting a group until l know l am ready and capable and have researched it more thoroughly but at the moment l am isolating myself from friends and don’t want to leave my home. So unlike me but things are so very different now and life has changed so very much. I’ve lost my rock and it is so scary. I know l have to find a purpose as my husband and l were always caring and just liked being amongst people, doing some good in the community.
Take care of yourself and if you would like to keep in touch now and then l would really like that.
Chris.
x
3 Likes
Hi Peter, I too understand your pain. I lost my husband suddenly on the 1st of December this year. We have been together almost 40 years and he was my rock, my life, my soulmate. I too don’t want to continue my life without him.
I am struggling everyday, I cry, I shout out take me with you, but my prays have not been answered too. I don’t want to continue, I am scared and frightened for the future, if there is any future.
I am happy to talk to anyway who is or has gone through this and welcome any support. Sending lots of hugs xxx
Hi sam43, i too lost my husband after 50 yesrs to covid. It is 20 months now, but it doesn’t get any easier. You learn to live wiyh it. Good days and bad days. Sometimes i want to go to sleep and never wake up and other days i can just about.cope. Nobody understands how you feel unless they have suffered the same loss. So many things trigger little memories which start the tears. I find if i walk everyday it helps. Sitting behind a closed door makes it fester. Everyday i look for signs that he is here in spirit but no signs as yet. It wont get better but you will learn to live with it. X
2 Likes
@Chris - I am in South East Wales so not sure if near enough but, depending on time and place I would be interested, as meeting up with others who understand makes such a difference. What a brilliant idea a way; I admire what you would like to do.
1 Like
Hello Karen and thank you so much for making contact!
I am situated in Caerphilly. Looking to start something up in the new year. Simply a get together with Tea/Coffee and Cake/Biscuits.
Want to keep as simple as possible so any ideas come from those who want to come. Also to keep costs of meeting up as low as possible (free if l can get funding) so is available to everyone.
Will stress to all NOT a place for those just looking for dating opportunities, but for friendship and support in each others’ company. Nothing at all available here at the moment. I just want a safe haven for meet ups and future ideas to come from those who want to come and for everyone to feel welcome. Would love you to be amongst us.
Chris
x
Hi again @Chris,
We (daughter and I) are about an hour from Caerphilly, being 12 miles the other side of Abergavenny towards Hereford.
I am so pleased you are making it clear it has nothing to do with dating as that would not interest me IN THE SLIGHTEST.
My time is often very limited but the idea certainly interests me.
Thanks again.
Karen x
1 Like
Hello Karen,
Thank you for your message.
I promise that as soon as l have information l will be in touch and let you know. Plans are in their infancy but there is interest which spurs me on.
Please keep in touch with any ideas and although it is a bit of a trek for you it would be nice if you could come. The long term plan is that people could open further groups in their areas Once we have our group up and running.
Best wishes
Chris
x
1 Like
Carol. I lost my precious husband in Aug. he had Alzheimer’s and the watching him suffer was unbearable. We were married for 52 beautiful years. I am a retired nurse and saw many people take their last breath, but nothing, nothing prepared me for watching my husband take his last breath. I had him home the last 5 weeks of his life on hospice, and although it was one of the best decisions I made in his care journey it was hard. But such a privilege. Like you there are images that I will never forget but nothing can surpass the love you shared with your husband. Agonizing times.
2 Likes
I lost my wife 15 months ago .
She was only 61 and died from COVID within 2 weeks so it was so sudden .
I cry constantly , am not in any way happy at all and just with I had gone too .
Last Xmas I was in a state of shock , this Xmas it’s oh so real now and hard to bear .
If I’m honest I don’t want to live without her. X
2 Likes
Tim: Your pain is palpable. I lost my beloved husband of 52 years in August. He had Alzheimer’s and the agony in the losing him has been unbearable. he was a very smart man. And watching that being taken away from him destroyed me. And now like you here I am Christmas. We had no children and I don’t live near any relatives. So walking through this on my own has been very hard. There’s a saying that I’ve read that says “ grief is the courage to step forward in the life that you feel has ended“. I’ve yet to reach that courage. Trying to accept that our lives will never be the same seems impossible but I do know it’s something that will have to happen. Like you I pray every day to join my beloved husband. That’s when I will find peace. I wish you the best that you can be for right now.
Karen
2 Likes
Sending love @Tim
It is so difficult isn’t it? Mine was a sudden loss too in that my darling 60 year old husband went out to play football as usual one Monday evening in April and never came home.
It seemed so unreal, then horribly real.
Today has been a mix of tears and laughter as we have some of my family who came to stay, as they have done for 23 years. I wasn’t sure I wanted that but I think it has been better than it being just me and my daughters. They are ageing and I don’t know how many more times they will be able to get to see us so that is another reason it was better to do it than not.
Wishing you strength and the support we can give each other as we at least have a bit more understanding of each other, despite the differences.
@Karetired
From another Karen, my love and support.
We have got mostly through another, seemingly impossible day. Let’s take strength from that. 
1 Like
You have given us hope its just 7 weeks since Robert died suddenly fit and healthy then gone 58 years old…missing him badly today…nobody will ever take his place and im finding some days r just so lonely and sad