Oh yeh why do people ssy that ? Its such a cliche and its just to get them off the hook i think so they dont have to do anything for you - cos youre strong !!!
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So true! I know they mean well, but stillā¦ hope youāre managing to keep your chin up. Spring will soon be here 
xxx
@JohnR54 totally agree i would not wish this on my beloved Linda and did say i would not want to leave her alone. I too am deeply affected by the amount of sorrow on this site, but glad i have found it. I have been using the good grief trust zoom meetings in the early days which were a life saver for me. lately i am finding this site better as i can let out how i actually feel, which i find hard in front of people (virtual or not), as i try outwardly to be jovial when inside i am dead! my linda did say i wouldnt be able to survive without her and some days & nights i truly believe this and wish i could drift off. Very luckily i have a very special 19mth granddaughter who when i look into her eyes this grief world dissipates and i know i have not to be selfish as my daughter suffers from anxiety attacks so needs me to be the strong one and help her through the cr*p life/people throws at you. just having a moment as finished something at work and was dragged back as realised i am on my own in the house and couldnāt talk to my soulmate. 
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Just came across your comment and wondering how you are doing now? Itās been 7 weeks since my partner took his own life and I donāt know how to get through this awful pain I feel every day. I hope you are well xx
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Aw im so sorry ! You take csre ! As someone said to me in the early days - lots if self care xx
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I feel for everyone.
I remember vividly the day my husband had his stroke, calling the ambulance getting to the hospital and fighting with security because of covid and them not wanting to let me in.
I did get in thanks to a caring understanding nurse and so did my 2 sons.
He died 9 days later and the whole time we all knew he was fighting a losing battle. I am sorry if this upsets anyone but watching him struggle knowing he wasnāt going to survive and agreeing to a Do not resuscitate order was the hardest thing i ever did but at the same time i wanted his suffering to stop.
If i had had the power to relieve his suffering i would have used it.
He has been dead for 16months and i still have nightmares about his suffering.
I love him so very very much and i miss him every day. He would have been 71 on 29th June this year. I still have his ashes and when i die my sons will scatter us together in the Cairngorms.
Until then i have my precious memories and photographs and like all of you never-ending grief.
I send you all my love and hopes that one day we will be reunited with our loved ones. Xx
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Hi, my partner died in hospital on Sept 7th after four & a half months in critical care, we had been together for 38years & finally got married in the hospital one week before he passed, since he went i feel like my soulmate is missing , he was also my lover, friend & co.panion, im not sleeping or eating & have lost 3 stone in weight, i just dont want to be here any more & every night in bed i pray not to wake up the next morningā¦as a fay couple we were always faken as a couple but now hardly anyone even wants to know or discuss it.
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So sorry for your loss x
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So sorry for your loss Itās early days yet give yourself a break I lost my husband in May and still canāt really see a way forward some days Concentrate on essentials and leave the less important on the list There is lots of practical advice I could give but concentrate on sorting out the things you must do and rest and indulge yourself if you can U need to recover your strength
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that is good advice. I am trying hard not to remember all those special times too often, because it is so painful. I stay busy, but I canāt always be busy. I am sure that in time I will adjust to this new reality.
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Do you stay busy ? Yeh thats good ā¦ it helps to distract from your grief doesnt it ? I like being distracted from this pain but i spend a lot of time by myself since he went. I try and do stuff and i take my puppy out for a walk 3 times a day but i find motivation to do things very hard , without my darling husband here. Dont forget to grieve though will you or it will come back later to bite you ā¦ have you had any bereavment counselling ? Xxxx
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Yes, I am staying busy and that is helping me ā¦ I have a wonderful counselor, and she is really helping meā¦ I know Iām making progress, but I I still struggle with loneliness at night.
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Oh thats good 
yeh i find mornings worse , well everything worse tbh . Its bloody hard this is without them ! He was my life really 
kids all grown up and he was my world xxx
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What do they do at bereavement groups
Iām sorry for your loss. I too lost my husband Philip on 19th September after 50 years together. Heād fought hard for 10 months but lost his final battle. I too find my days empty, I have good intentions in the morning to get chores done but suddenly itās dark and Iāve done little. Iām dreading Xmas but am trying to put on a brave face for my children and grandchildren. My heartās not in it though. We bought a dog just over 2 years ago for companionship should one of us die, but I never dreamt he would leave me so soon. He was just 77 and had so much more to do in his life. Now I get comfort from the dog who has not left my side since his master died.
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I certsinly know what you mean about your heart not being in it ā¦ youre doing well to put a brave face on ā¦ i cant do that ā¦ but why should u though? Weve lost the most precious thing in the world to us ā¦ i think we deserve the right to be sad about that xxx
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I agree we have a right to be sad, but my children are also grieving their Dad and looking to me for support too, as well as giving me support. The grandchildren seem to be coping well with the loss of their second Grandad in a few years. I donāt feel I should be sad in front of the little ones. I guess we all approach grief in different ways, but hopefully we will all find our way out of this maze of sadness and emptiness.
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Yeh but you have to think of your own needs too ā¦ but anyway - do it how you want ā¦ i know what you mean - they do grieve too x
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My husband Alan was also 77 and had been ill for a while. We had been married for 55 years and I miss him so much. Feeling very overwhelmed at the moment.
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Sorry to hear that . Itās really hard.
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