Thanks for your encouragement x
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No worries ā¦ anytime ā¦ your story reminded me of mine xx
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I lost my partner Eight years ago as i felt same way you feeling its horrible you just want to get rid of your pain 
even to this day i think of my partner but after eight years the pain has gone away and you do move on and except and it gets easier in time. I lost loads of interest in life also couldnt help crying everything was hitting my heart songs places where id been with my partner in the end eight years goneā¦Grieving isnt easy but it will get better for you keep strong lots of Positivity for your future it will get better you dont have to forget just remember all the good times it takes time but you will move on meet new people which will help you move on in time.
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That is good to know. I think I have to get used to how it has to be. Used to feeling sad when I remember and how it is.
I have to do what i have to do. Try to do the things I couldnāt before.
If only I could get the confidence back.
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I try and think of all the good things but it seems as if when I do that all the bad things and the things that I should have done but didānt come storming in and I lose them. I know that is one of the things I can expect either the Parkinsonās so Iāll just have to try and thole it but itās hard. Thanks for the uplift.
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See the reply above. With my Parkinsonās I find it very tiring typing. Thanks for you Hope.
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Yes having disabilities on top of bereavement tough whatever it is you are dealing with.
I find it difficult today is his birthday. I am trying to cope.
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Thatās a hard one ! Thinking of you
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My wife passed away 14 November from MSA (Parkinsons type), she had a rough few months with Dysphagia and a deterioration in her mobility.
After a bad weekend i had decided to retire early (60) to spend time with her and submitted my notice (after 34 years with my employer), my wife was elated and so excited about that but sadly passed away before it happened. I still feel guilty at not retiring in June (my 60th birthday) after her last spell in hospital but we werenāt expecting things to avalanche as they did.
In fairness my manager was lovely and so helpful today was my formal retirement presentation / lunch and she handled it so lovely. I know I have made the right decision and decided to push forward with my retirement - just as well as my sleep patterns have been rubbish and my concentration all over the place even now.
Im just taking each day as it comes depending on how i feel, how the weather is and other things, doing some decorating and trying to rebuild certain aspects of my life.
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Yes it is difficult . Elizabeth died 6 minutes before my 85th birthday but she left me a birthday card which I will treasure. They are gone but never forgotten.
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That is really nice to be left a card.
Yesterday on my husbandās birthday I found a little box with some things he treasured. It was a card his son had hand made years ago. He loved handmade cards and felt they meant so much more. So painted a robin
And wrote a poem on the back and stuck it on his grave like a flag on a stick that his five year old grandson enjoyed putting in there. Other people do different things but my husband liked reading things to remind him of people he used to know. It helped with the day.
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Yes it is really hard. Unlike you I have peripheral neuropathy in addition to Parkinsonās so I canā t move about the same. I too suffer from extreme guilt and memory being what it is I only brought to mind today some sage advice that I got from my mentor Officer when I joined the police( many years ago) when I was going home after shift and going over in my mind wher I thought I was lacking, thinking ā what if I had done this or not done that or I should have been kinder to that personāHe took me aside and said ā son you have joined the what if society and I suggest you leave it and join the Better next time clubā that way you will be able to say I will do better next time, I wonāt do that next time andI will be kinder to people. That completely changed my way of thinking and it has helped with my guilt.I also go to the Maggi centre to a relaxzation session on a Wednesday morning between 11,00 and 12.00 finding it very helpful as I canāt relax at home as Elizabeth is all around me. Take care young man. I say that as I am 85 years young.
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Yes. She arranged it with our daughter, Sharon. Got her to write I except for the last word which she wrote herself. When we gave each other cared we always signed them āā With ALL my Love Always xxxxxxx
Iām having a wee greet as I write this.
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Gosh wish there was a centre for helping folk like you went to a Maggi Centre but same need for carers of other things not just cancer if I am correct. My husband had heart and diabetic end of life challenges but nowhere to go.
With hindsight we had no help to cope and unlike cancer donāt say you only have so long to live so canāt claim benefits he should have been entitled to. I felt terrible knowing I couldnāt cope as have issues myself. Then I found Marie Curie only offer help to cancer patients after I asked for counselling there so why didnāt they put that in adverts? Made me feel dim for not knowing.
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You are right. There is not enough information out for people to EASILY access regarding other life ending illnesses. We know that the nursing staff are weighed down with paperwork regarding targets, ticking boxes etc and trying to get a face to face doctors appointment is almost impossible.There were times I said to Elizabeth āI wish I could wave a magic wand and get you helpā. So many of us end up in the same boat and Ithink it is sink or swim. Take care of yourself and if you had a faith, use it.
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In fairness our GP practice were great,
Our Sue Ryder nurse was amazing and still calls by even though she has now retired- she became a real friend and so helpful and supportive. Our MacMillan nurse was amazing too
Unfortunately MSA is a very rare degenerative neurological condition and only palliative care was available for her to manage her pain and other symptoms!
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We also had excellent care from McMillan nursing and palliative care.
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Just to say, donāt ever feel guilty, though we all seem to do so . Weād all do things differently if only we could see into the future. Perhaps just as well we canāt , and we all know what a wonderful thing is hindsight. Iāve been where you are and I know how hard it is, truly. But you will get through it, although it feels like you never will, and you will smile again. Truly. x
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Itās just human nature to question ourselves
Is there anything else I could / should have done / said etc etc ?
Rationally I know that none of us are perfect but we all have done the very best we could for our loved ones and almost certainly could not have done more or changed the outcome!
We have to try and put our own lives back on track and to find a new normal ! I donāt feel guilty about that and would have wanted her to do the same if the situation were reversed!
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Youāre so right. Life can be good again. Onward and upward!
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