I’m exactly the same I used to shower every day hair and a bit of makeup on, now it could be 3 days for a shower and i dont wear makeup, would never dream of going out without a bit of makeup on, now I couldn’t care less. Like you he was my world, sending you big hugs too
None of that matters anymore eh still trying to get up every day I don’t even look at myself .
Hugs to you too
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Hello
I shower everyday, but I’m not bothered with makeup and I just ruffle my hair up.
I aim to do one thing different each day, which I never achieve as it’s so overwhelming without my loved one. I bought a few plants and planted them so that is an achievement for.
Sending hugs
Amy xx
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That is a big achievement I can’t do anything there seems no point to it . I literally did nothing for 8 weeks now I’m at 12 weeks I manage to vacuum but that’s about all things that used to matter now seem so meaningless I just miss my darling every second of every day I would give anything for one of his hugs and kisses
Sending hugs
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I know what you mean @anon92799665, my housework no way near as spotless when my partner was here, I run hoover round downstairs occasionally, quick flick of the duster, I just can’t be bothered, upstairs is my boys room so they clean them.
It’s an effort to get up, I try to walk most days as this helps a little.
I really miss my partner, days, nights are so lonely without him.
Amy xx
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We moved house 3 weeks before he died, and I still have so many boxes still packed up. The conservatory is full of boxes, but when I do open one it has his things in as well as mine. So hard. I did empty 2.5 today, which is an achievement. Let’s hope for all of us to find some peace and comfort from our darlings memories. Xxx
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Same here…we moved just 6 weeks (3 weeks before xmas). And I still have 3 boxes to do which contain a lot of his books and music tapes & CD’s cant get round to those just yet. Hugs to everyone xx
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It was not a move but we ordered new bedroom furniture and had to empty all our drawers into boxes. Since the cabinets arrived I have only been able to eventually sort my own. My husband’s box is still at the side of the bed full of all his little keepsakes that meant so much to him. I open the box take a look in and then just break down and have to close it again. I cannot imagine each of your pain in trying to face the challenge of sorting through things.
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Could I just ask if anyone is having help with medication? And is it helping ? My daughter said to ask the doctor for help, but I’m a bit reluctant to do it. Thankyou x
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Dear Anne12
Medication was discussed with my GP but have not gone down that road yet.
Take care.
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Hello Anne, yes I have help from medication and I honestly think I would have killed myself without it as I couldn’t take the pain anymore. It wasn’t that I wanted to die but just the relentless pain was too much for too long.
I have Diazepam (valium, only when needed) and Citalopram (Anti Depressants daily) and 30/500 Zapain for ovulation/period pain which seemed to get worse since my husband died too. Before he died I hardly took any drugs ever as both of us believed in natural cures where possible and we cut sugar/meat/processed food out of our diets mainly too
The Citalopram is the biggest help. It has horrible side effects for the first weeks until your body gets used to it and I regretted it at first (headaches, mad vivid dreams, shaking) but once the initial period is done it definitely calmed me down and made it easier to cope with day to day living so I have a better chance of being able to keep my job/house. My psychotherapist convinced me to take it as she said there is a point where what is ordinary grief moves over into severe depression and severe depression is an illness to do with an imbalance of your brain chemicals and for this tablets can help, just as other tables can with an illness of the stomach or some other organ.
You can also get sleeping pills but I didn’t fancy them (I used Diazepam for that for a week to get a new routine going at the advice of my Dr and then came off from using them so regularly).
I used to have entirely the opposite opinion about drugs like this but now I have been there and see the difference they made I have to say I am glad I went down this route (at least so far, I started Diazepam before xmas and Citalopram in March). I am only barely making it as it is but I can feel the different Citalopram is making and without it I wouldn’t have got this far.
Good luck and hopefully your Doctor can help you come to a decision you are happy with, remember you can always get 2 or three medical opinions (I spoke to my therapist and 3 different GPs before finally agreeing to take my tablets).
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I so understand where you are coming from , my husband x died in Feb from stomach cancer which had spread although the diagnosis came only two weeks before he died although he was unwell for months before , seeing our GP and three specialists. We were married for 47 years and he was my soul mate ,my lover , my best friend. I miss him so much and the physical pain I feel is all consuming , I cry still when I remember our life and the p!ans we had,I feel so lonely and sad , will it ever get better ??? ,all I want is my darling David back
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Yes I am and it has helped me, I still have good and bad days, I’ve gone back to work recently, it’s the only thing in my life that is sort of normal. Go and speak to your GP, I found mine very helpful, I also had counselling, it was good to talk to someone without worrying about upsetting others. Be kind to yourself, stay safe x
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Thankyou all of you, I shall ring my doctor and see if she can help .
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I lost my Darling wife Tanya coming up for nearly a year we would have been married nearly 25 years she was only 51 she passed away from Metastatic Breast Cancer that had spread to the bones and later to the liver.
We also have a 14 year old Daughter & we both miss Tanya every hour of the Day so much it hurts it is coming into a empty house with out her in it the house feels so empty & I feel so lonely without her here 
I also lost my Dad 12 hours later & I think sometimes I feel what have I done so wrong in life.
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I am so sorry Geoffs. It is awful coming back to an empty house and it’s the loneliness that’s the hard one. It’s good that you have a daughter for comforting one another. Stay strong x
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I am so sorry Geoff, that is awful for you both. None of this was anything you have done, so get that out of your head. Stay strong for your daughter.
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Since my husband died 3 months ago, I had gone through various stages of grief. I had a few weeks where I was sleeping all the time, and so lerthargic, then I started to get over that slowly. But then I lost my niece last week, and the sleeping has started all over again. I hate feeling like this, but when i am asleep i am not thinking of Tom or Phaedra. Dont know if that is a good thing or not. It has been a shit year so far. Cant take anymore heartache.
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Sometimes the heartache is so unbearable there are no words . I was having a really bad day yesterday it’s 12 weeks sun my partner died suddenly so I reached out to a friend as I don’t have any family here and she said just be strong that was it sometimes people leave me speechless that was one of those times I’m so glad I found this site .
Love to all of you
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I am so sorry about your loss. Must have been about the same time as me. It helps to talk about the loved one, I find. And I still tell him important things. Sometimes I dont want to be strong, I just want to have a hug. It is such a shame you dont have people near you. I am very lucky that I have my 2 sons, and 2 sisters. But we are all trying to help my sister that lost her daughter. Also if you want to have a good cry, do so. Doesnt matter where you are, just let it out. I am sending you hugs.
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