Thank you fir your kind words it does help having people around you for sure my family are in Australia so with the time difference it’s difficult . I do cry mostly all day and I do t go out much but when I do I get panic attacks so only go out if o have to . It’s just all so unbearable I miss my partner every minute if every day .
Hugs to you too
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I didnt go out for a couple of weeks, but I have 2 dogs so I had to in the end. It is still horrible going shopping. I keep seeing things tha I know Tom would like, just for a split second I almost pick it up. I found it does get a bit easier each time I go. I have to go out today but I keep putting it off. I must do it. Stay safe, and make sure you eat properly. Xxxx
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Hi Janeets & nanny, I fully understand were you are both coming from, I’m exactly the same about going out. Sometimes I walked to the corner of my close and had to turn back, i feel like my legs are going to give up and I start to panic, it’s just an awful feeling. I’m very lucky to have 2 daughters near by, but they both work, but I speak to them every day,which I’m grateful for, and I’ve got great neighbours. But janeets if you feel like you want to talk and express your feelings then just write to me…we are all trying our best, but sometimes we need to have a chat to someone to get it off our chests and it’s always feels better when you know other people are in the same boat. Sending you both hugs and we must try to stay strong. xxxx
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It’s good to know that others understand. Thankyou.
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Thank you Anne that’s very kind I will keep that in mind if I need to talk . It’s such an awful terrible time for us all .
Hugs to you
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Lovely to talk to you both xx
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It’s awful what we’re all going through. I lost my beautiful wife on the 22nd April.we we’re together 40 years. I wish it was me and not her. She would know how to cope and get through. I know it’s early days and people keep telling me I’m in shock but I can’t stand the pain. Sat here after midnight crying again and watching rubbish on Tv just to try and get through the night. I can’t stop thinking of the last 6 months of her life coping with her illness and caring for her 24/7 which I would do all over again. I just want to get the happy memories back. I’m lucky I have three daughters living locally and three grandchildren. I try to pretend I’m doing ok because I know their heartbroken about losing their mum. I don’t want to make it worse for them by having to cope with me.
Love to all on this site x
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Gary, I feel for you in your pain. Let your daughters know how you feel, and let them help you. They would be so upset if they knew you were keeping your pain from them. Please talk to them, my son was upset with me for not telling him, so I talk to them both now, and it makes them feel better, and me. They like to talk as well about losing their mother. Please talk to them. Xxx
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@anon92799665 what a stupid thing for your friend to say “be strong” i am sorry but WTF does she think you’ve been doing all this time by still breathing?! people have no idea until it happens to them and even then each one of us has our own unique set of circumstances within this.
Three months is such a difficult time, in a pandemic and with minimal support in a society that tries to pretend death isn’t there doesn’t make it easier. If you’re still breathing you’re strong, if you can eat, rest, hydrate and get some fresh air/sun on your skin it makes it slightly easier… for me it’s 8 months since I “lost” ( I still can’t really abide that term, I wasn’t careless, I tried hard not to “lose” him) my husband. I still sleep on my mum’s sofabed in her lounge.
Everyone will either die or go through this themselves in the end, it’s our turn now paying this price for all we had. It’s still worth it isn’t it… Please take care and your grief is fully valid.
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I’m sorry you’re going through this Gary. I think its good advice Nenny gave that this is too hard alone and we need to ask for help when we need it. Although that is very very hard I know. Your family will feel helpless and maybe even think you’re managing but just tell them… ask to go for tea or meet up or stay over… whatever may help reduce the loneliness a little. It will also help them to feel they are doing something. Take care x
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Thanks you for your kind words of understanding. I couldn’t believe my so called friend saying that to me I always think if you don’t have anything useful to say then just say nothing . I’m so sorry for your loss too . The minutes the hours the days the weeks just go and you don’t know how eh now your at 8 months and tomorrow I’m at 13 weeks how did we get here it’s all a blur and seems like yesterday. . It was worth it I had the love of a wonderful man my one true love I wouldn’t change that for the world … I miss him every minute of every day .
Sending love and hugs
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Thanks for your replies. I think your right, I need to involve my daughters more and let them know how I really feel. I think their probably keeping their true feelings from me as well.
I feel I’m not on my own Reading all the messages.
I’m sorry for everyone’s loss and best wishes for the future.
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I am so glad you have decided to talk to your daughters. They are probably keeping their hurt from you too. Family is the best thing in our situation. Dont know what I would do without my boys. Let us know how you get on. Good luck. Xxxx
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14 weeks today I have been without my darling. I tell myself that is an achievement without going loopy.
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Thanks for your message Nenny and I’m sorry for your loss. Tough times.
Take care
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13 weeks ago today I was talking to my darling wonderful man in FaceTime he was happy and excited and so full of life . 13 weeks tommorow he was gone I still can’t believe it and I don’t think I ever will . I feel like I died with him 13!weeks ago. there is just emptiness every day and my heart is broken into a million pieces there are so many things I need to tell him and I talk to him all the time the worst thing is he doesn’t answer .
Hugs to everyone
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Hi Janeets. I’m so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. It’s 10 weeks since my beautiful wife passed away. I still can’t believe it’s happened. I just want to speak to her and see her again. I know it’s not going to happen but I’m finding it so hard to handle the emotions.
It’s that time of night again, alone and heartbroken. Trying to get through another 24 hours
Thinking about you at this sad time x
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So sorry Peter l am in the same situation l lost my wife in November after a short illness nothing they could do just told she had 4 months to live 
god l know how you feel & what your going through.
I cry l shout l don’t believe as my prayers were never answered just silence l cry out to my wife this was not the way we planned things but never get an answer back…… l turned 63 this July my wife was the same age full of life full of excitement full of what we were going to do now it’s all gone taken away l feel bitter alone people say time heals l don’t want time to heal l want my Sandie back😢
All l can say is live from day to day & do what you want to do in your own time don’t let anyone push you into anything you don’t want to do if your minds not on work take time out l have & taken up fishing so it takes my mind off things & gets me out of the house which sandie finished inside & out to her own style which reminds me of her 24Hrs a day.
Never forget the good times and cry as much as you like l do 
Thinking of you
Tony
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I am so sorry Tony. Know just how you feel. Lost my husband in March. I also find that remembering the good times hurts so much for what I cant have again. But I am doing things slowly, and when I want to do them, not when it is suggested to me. Still dont like going shopping, as Tom was always with me. I have his ashes here with me and talk to him sometimes. I find it a great comfort even though I sound a bit loopy. We were all strong enough to reach out on this site, so we are strong enough to come through this. Jenifer.
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Hi Gary, just wondering if you spoke to your daughters, and if it helped. It would have helped them too. I hope you did. Please let us know how you are doing. Xx
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