I lost my mum back in December; she had vascular dementia, and the last 5 years have been hard. The disease stripped away her dignity and much of the woman I knew and loved. We were close and I could still get through to her, despite the dementia fog, even near the end.
As if that wasn’t hard enough to cope with, last month, two friends in my writing group unexpectedly died within a week of each other. The second funeral was a week ago.
The last three years have not been great; my dad died after a heart op in 2021 and a few months earlier, a close mate died in his sleep, a week after his 50th birthday.
So it’s been a bit rubbish, to say the least.
I thought I’d join these forums to a) unload a bit, and b) see if anyone had good advice on dealing with multiple bereavements. I’m on the list for grief counseling - I previously had a few sessions after my dad’s death.
My head has been spinning, and I’m showing a few signs of depression (a numbness). I’ve been quite teary and short tempered of late.
Has anyone had to deal with multiple bereavements? If you’ve been through something similar, I’d appreciate any small nuggets of advice, or if you’re going through something similar, get in touch, we might be able to help each other, cheers
Thank you for reaching out - I’m so sorry for the losses you have endured. That is such a lot to cope with.
You are not alone - many of our members have sadly had multiple losses to cope with. If you click on the magnifying glass and search, “multiple losses”, you can see a list of conversations about this.
I understand how you feel, I lost my Mum in October 2021 to heart and kidney failure, my Dad December 2022 to cancer and my son aged 35 in March 2023 through drugs, and my stepson in his 30s in December 2023. Life is cruel and still can’t get my head round losing our 2 boys, heartbroken beyond words, however I do day by day, exercise everyday and swim everyday which helps my head. I have removed every friend who has a negative impact on, can’t deal with it and don’t have too, I have become harder and stronger over the last few months. I have no patience at all for anything which is trivial as I have had the worst few years of my life. To top it all my partner has had to have a lump removed from his arm, just waiting for those results. Then this week a letter to do jury service. I have asked to be excused due to bereavement. I very rarely go far on my own and have days when I can’t drive. I’m rambling on sorry. This site is a life line where people actually understand. Be kind to yourself. Little steps.
My mother in Law died 20th Aug 2023 , she was 91, so you kind of feel you had a long life ! 20th January 2024 my ex husband was found dead in his flat age 56! (No loss to me as he was a wife beater BUT he was my sons father ) then 15th April 2024 my lovely hubby suddenly past heart attack and my sons step Dad age 65! Then 9 days later my cousin died 24/4/24 age 56 given 12 weeks did 10! Then 3/6/24 a work colleague age 68 died ! I am still not over nor will I ever get over my husband my anxiety is in over drive on “what next ! Who next ? And what if ! Awaiting counselling referral
@MJG It sounds like you’ve been though an equally hellish experience. Small steps and exercise - good advice. I hope things work out for you and your partner x
@Jane15 OMG I’m so sorry to hear about your losses (with the exception of your ex) but losing your partner then the other deaths - so many in quick succession completely makes your head spin, doesn’t it? I’ve taken some time off from work, and I’m letting myself feel sad (y’know how we’re always supposed to put a brave face on things? Sod that) . Be very very kind to yourself and I hope you get some grief counselling too, it does help x