I find the evening the worst when it starts getting dark and I pull the blinds and always say batten down the hatches which is something Pat always says and I talk to her telling her I won’t be long before I join her. I’m never alone at night there is always a dog on my bed and in the morning the 3 of us are in bed together and I get woke with waggy tails and sloppy kiss not the same as a kiss from Pat but it makes me feel better.
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Be proud of yourself you made it, so many memories of being back on the ship I’m not surprised your emotions are all over the place. Scattering Graham’s ashes will be emotional to, so pleased you are allowed to do it.
Be thinking of you as you carry on your journey, and glad you made friends on board.
Sending love X
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My children want me to get another cat for company, our last one died just before Doug.
But I can’t bare the thought of losing something else I love.
My daughter has a dog and when I babysit she loves to sit on my knee and give you doggy kisses.
Pets are good for your mental health, but I make do with my daughter’s dog and the therapy dog we have a work. X
Griffxx
Well done you so glad you’ve got some good company and support too . It’s not suprising it was so emotional we’re all bottling up a lot of our emotions to just get through the day and to protect those we love. Graham would be so proud of you, sad feelings now but as time moves on it will be a special memory to carry you through whatever lies around the corner. Look out at the Ocean and know he’s there with you xxxx
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It’s all so difficult isn’t it. Mornings, starting the day on your own are the worst.
I’ve had a busier week this week meeting up with friends, it does make a big difference if you have something planned for your day.
Take care xx
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I try and get out most days and keep busy. Yesterday wasn’t an easy day,my youngest son came over to start clearing Chris’s.shed so that his grandsons could have their share of the train layout. I went out whilst he did it but found it hard.seeing the area cleared when I got back. Hence being unsettled at bedtime and an iffy nights sleep
Anxiety back big style this morning feel shattered and weepy . GP has suggested increasing the dosage of my meds to help me sleep longer but not sure that will change the anxiety kick first thing in the morning . Sundays always feel the worst and I’m just glad to get into bed at the end of it. Take care.x
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Morning Shirley, if the sun is shining just chill in your garden make today all about being kind to yourself. If you have a book to read pretend you have a day at the seaside. Hope you feel better and more relaxed as the day goes on. Thinking of you all x
Thank you Griff hope.allis well with you and the company is good . I haven’t looked out at the weather yet but it’s promising good day . Doing a stint at the Maritime Musuem this afternoon which gives me a boost meeting different people. It’s hard but it is what it is and building a future without your loved one is/was always going to be hard but for their sakes build it we must to keep their memory alive within us. Where are you cruising from and to?
Hello everyone, I took a short break from Community, just to try and recharge myself. I hope you are all ok, especially newly bereaved. Yes, its very hard. Impossible really. I too have anxiety, I dont want medication. I heard an excellent talk by Michael Mosely recently, in the middle of the night actually, ‘Just One Thing’, bbc sounds. It wasnt to do with bereavement at all. He recommends a very short nap in the afternoons. I have found that grief doubly exhausts you. If I’m tired and stressed, I cannot function. I am now realising that if I do take a short nap in the afternoon, somehow the brain is rested and cleansed. Our problems haven’t gone away but being refreshed seems to help a coping mechanism to take place.
The grief does not magically disappear but everything is just that litlle bit more manageable. It works for me anyway.
My young neighbour asked me to join them for a bbq last night. I bumped into a friend I hadnt seen for a long time last week. We have set a date to meet up again. These two connections have made a world of difference to me. Its a human connection. They have no idea how positively those two encounters meant to me. A little reaching out went a long way. Somehow I fill the days, always with that black hole next to me. I try all sorts of coping techniques. The Grief doesnt go away but I get petiods of respite. Its all down to us. I’m thinking of you all and yes, I really do feel your pain. Keep putting one foot in front of another. Best wishes.
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Thank you yes meeting others helps and a snooze cruise as I call it helps too. I to didn’t want meds but after 8 weeks of no real sleep and high anxiety I needed something to help me sleep. The nights aren’t as bad but mornings aren’t so good. This forum helps because we are all in the same boat trying to make some sense of our feelings. X
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Hi @Gonegirl01 and @Shirleymc, after 14 months I given in, I went to the doctor for something to help me sleep. I still work and with lack of sleep, I am really struggling at work.
She also adviced me to go for councilling which is something I have never considered before.
I like listening to Micheal Mosely, he gives such good advice, but I’m not in a position to nap in the afternoon.
How lovely an invite to a bbq has found an old friend, we never know where our paths lead us by chance. X
Bless you Debbie I can relate to what you are saying I was widowed at 53 and threw myself into work but hit a brick wall 12months later and went off sick which gave me time to look after myself . It was the 2nd time around for Chris and I and we looked forward to spending our retirement together we has 15 good years but Cancer played it’s part for 10 of those years. I realised that this time around felt like a double loss as unresolved grief from my husbands death came to the surface too. So rather than go onto a waiting list I found a good private counsellor and that has help me talk about both deaths in a safe enviroment . It does help Debbie it allows you to talk about things you might not want to share with family and friends xx
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Thank you Shirley, I registered with the service attached to my local GP services, but if I don’t hear soon. My employer has an employee assistance programme, I can contact. My line manager has already said if I need time off work than to take it. I’ve only got 19 months until I retire and that’s the sad thing Doug not here to enjoy it with. X X
I can imagine how that was upsetting seeing Chris’s shed being cleared. Sundays are really hard for some reason aren’t they. Hope your day got better.
I am at the Lake District this weekend with my daughter and her husband. We have scattered mark’s ashes today which is his birthday at a place that we both love.
We did well I think he would be very proud of us.
Take care xx
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Thank you Barbara so pleased for you that everything went well over the weekend and you did him proud. Yesterday got better I went to work at the musuem for the afternoon .But here we are again and it’s 4am and the anxiety is back and I can’t get back off to sleep. Take care xx
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I’m cruising from Malta and visiting crete, mykonos, pireaus and Santorini then day at sea when I scatter Graham’s ashes off back of ship on 18th May. It would have been our 41st wedding anniversary today so I’m going to think of all the happy memories we made together even though I’d rather stay in bed and cry all day. I’ve had a few tears this morning and I will probably have a few more tonight another 1st out the way.
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Bless you Griff. Be kind to yourself today and keep making those memories. Remember happier times smile ,laugh and shed those tears. Hoping to scatter Chris’s ashes into the sea on the 29th May hoping it will help me feel some closure knowing he’s where he wanted to be.My sleep pattern is all over the place again GP has recommended increasing the dosage but I’m not sure as I don’t want to feel like a Zombie the followimg day. Take today as it comes and have a couple of glasses of wine raise a toast to him and thank him for all those happy years xx
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I never thought about toasting him I will do that x
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Pushkin I have my husband’s toothbrush too. I just feel it is a link to him because it is a personal item and one he can’t be washed out of.
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I’m glad I’m not the only one,it does seem like a strange momento.I sometimes wish I had a look of his hair.The Victorians used to wear memorial jewelry,which I used to think was rather morbid but I have a good locker with a picture of Malcolm and I inside and I think a small lock of his chair would have made it even more sentimental.xx