Awake.again at between 2&3 am unsettled and anxious. Think my GP is right perhaps I do need my meds increasing whilst I am still sorting out his Will and dealing with his sons indifference. I have asked the solicitor to send him a copy of his Dad’s Will in the hope that it will help him process it and see that I have little choice but to carry out his wishes. My sons have done most of the sorting out with me out of respect and love for Chris and to support me. I just want to sleep better so that I can cope better during the day as it’s hard enough coping with the anxiety as it is…I just want to cry but the tears won’t come and the anger I feel is just below the surffice . Rambling again thank goodness for this forum xxx
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Hi Shirley mc,
I’m just the same,I will wake up all hours with my heart pounding and a sick feeling in my tummy.Thoughts racing and wondering what to do for the best.
Anxiety manifests throughout the day and leaves me feeling as though I want to hide from the world.x
I can relate to all of that I to feel.sick and the pit of my stomarch feels as if it’s got a herd of cows in it. Usually getting out of bed and going onto the settee helps but not so these last couple of nights. Like you anxiety can kick in during the day sometimes just out of the blue and goes just as quick to come back again for no rhyme or reason. I keep busy make sure I get some excise and fresh air but the reality is I don’t like being on my own and miss Chris more as each day passes
I feel exactly the same,it doesn’t matter where you are or if you are with someone or in your own life is going on around me.I just don’t feel part of it anymore.x
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It’s not helping that Chris’s son is being difficult won’t communicate with me I have to let him know what is going on as I am the executor of his Dad’s will along with his solicitor. Any feedback I get is from his partner. He wanted the funeral delayed until he felt the time was right but wouldn’t give a timescale now he wants to delay scattering his dad’s ashes untill the time is right for him and wants sorting his Dad’s Will out delayed but Probate is granted and there’s little leeway as delaying things on bumps up the solicitors costs… I really don’t know what else I can do as he doesn’t seem to grasp that his sister and I are grieving too
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That’s a great way to describe the anxiety in your stomach. Mine feels like a herd of cows too although thankfully not so often now with my medication.
Hope yours improves soon too xx
Hope yesterday wasn’t too bad a day and you surrounded yourself with good memories. Thinking of you today xxx
Thank you Barbara I had a better night last night Usual morning anxiety but a good sleep helps Take care
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Hi Shirley, I was very anxious through the day felt so sick with lots of crying. I was met by the captain and events manager at 5.55pm and the captain said a few words and Graham’s ashes were covered with the flag and slid off the tray at the back of the ship. They provided me with petals to scatter afterwards it was actually lovely.
Oh Shirley you really are going through the mill, I’m thinking holding back some ashes wasn’t acceptable for son. You know when the will and ashes scattering is done some of the anxiety might ease just a little bit especially with higher dose of tablets.
I fly home from Malta today and go straight to my daughters and I’m feeling so sick, I wish I could stop it I tell myself you got here on your own with just one little mistake there’s nothing to be anxious about but my body is telling me different.
Take care every one, thank goodness we have each others understanding 
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Bless you Griff You have been so brave and and they certainly did the both of you proud. So sorry you are feeling so.anxious but it’s not suprising as it’s still so very raw. Hopefully being at your daughters will give you some respite. I have my eldest grandson coming to stay for a few days on Saturday I’m going to start Tai Chi today but have woken up anxious and nervous about going . We scatter Chris 's ashes on the 29th and I am hoping that the anxiety becomes less and I can grieve his loss at a slower pace . Take care xx
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Dear Griff
Chris’s wishes were very specific about where he wanted them scattered and his son totally disagrrees with it and wants to scatter them somewhere else . I have tried explaining things to him but he won’t listen or communicate with me so there is little I can do . I have let him know about the 29th and I’m hoping he turns up with his children and we can sort something out between us then xx
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Hope you’ve arrived safely back in the UK and at your daughter’s x
Hi Shirley thank you I’m at my daughters had a shower and in bed it’s been a long day and I’ve had big hugs off my grandsons. Think I will sleep tonight. I hope your improving. X
That’s just what was needed tlc from granchildren is the best tonic ever. My day has been up and down had a long walk this morning and a cuppa with my cousin Haven’t been able to shake the anxiety off today but it has eased do fingers crossed I’ll sleep better tonight. Sleep well.and enjoy the cuddles that come your way tomorrow xx
The last couple of days have been bad and my anxiety has been at it’s worst for a long time. Longer days and good weather doesn’t help as on good days we’d go out even if it was just for a coffee… I should have started Tai chi yesterday but it was cancelled at the last minute. I’m usually busy in the garden this time of the year either planting out or getting my pots done but I just can’t face it. Hopefully when Chris"s ashes are scattered on the 29 th and I have a few days away thinks will feel better and I can let myself grieve . X
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I lost my grandmother in June to cancer. She was one of the most important people in my life. She was my best friend and I loved her more than anything. She would do anything for me, even when she was sick and dying.
Since she died, I have been suffering from constant anxiety attacks. It gets so bad that it is hard for me to eat, sleep or think straight. This has been going on for months now, but it has only gotten worse since her death.
I know this is normal because it’s what happens when someone loses a close family member or friend, but it’s just getting out of control now and it’s really starting to affect my life negatively (in school and relationships).
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Bless you x I am so sorry for your loss Those feelings are horrible and so difficult to manage especially if you feel amxious every day. Hopefully your GP can help with either some medication or counselling or both.
Talking about how you are feeling does help.you deal with anxious thoughts and helps you work through yout grief. Keep posting and talking people on here will listen Take care
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Good morning Griff. Hope you’ve been OK since being back from your trip away Shirley xxx
Morning Shirley, I travel back from my daughters tomorrow I’ve found it all a bit overwhelming and I’m ready for home but the thought of the empty house is making me feel sick.
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How are you doing Shirley?