Bless you Griff so sorry you are feeling so over whelmed but it’s not suprising as it’s still early days and the cruise was so important to you that it must feel like an anticlimax now. Going home won’t be easy tomorrow
.Can someone meet you there so that you"re not on your own for first hour or so?
After a bad few days I took my GP’s advice and they increased the dosage of the meds they had prescribed to help me sleep etc
I have my eldest grandson staying this week and it’s good to have company and someone to focus on
We scatter Chris’s ashes next Sunday not sure how I 'm going to feel about it but am hoping it will give me a little peace to know he’s at rest and where he wanted to be xxxxc
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Hope the meds are helping, I found it really lovely scattering Graham’s. I’m going straight to my neighbours for a cuppa and she will come round with me she said. I know what you mean about focus it does help, I didn’t have any tears yesterday.
I will be thinking about you next Sunday Shirley
Thank you His daughter and family are coming up here for it as are my eldest son and grandaughter. I have booked a table for lunch afterwards so that we can toast his memory. Whether his son turns up or not is in the lap of the gods but he will have to live with the choices he makes not me or his sister. I just want it to go well and remember Chris and not the Cancer that took him from us xx
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You are doing the right thing, you can’t pamper to his son and what you have planned sounds lovely
Thank you xx Enjoy your grandchildren and have a special day with your daughter today xxxx
Hello Shirley,
I have just spotted your post about your husbands son.Malcolm has a son who was estranged from him for years and didn’t bother contacting him in his last few days of his life.
Malcolm’s will was also clear and his son made me give in to all his demands,he only made contact with me via the funeral directors and it involved a lot of increased costs.
He has now employed a solicitor to try to claim money from his Dads will,Malcolm left everything to me.
The son is not happy because he can’t have “sight” of the will until probate.x
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Thank you for your message. We weren’t married but jointly own the house and we made Wills protecting each of our share of the property. Chris changed his Will in favour of his grandchildren as he had given both his children a large sum of money two years previously. Probate has been granted and as an executor I asked the solicitor to send them both their father’s Will and a covering letter explaining his thoughts etc at the time. Whether he likes it or not is entirely up to him and if he wishes to contest it then the arguements will be with his and his sister’s children not with me. I am so sorry that your stepson is being so difficult at a time that you need the support and he needs to remember that he might have lost his dad but you have lost a husband and your future life together xxTake care x
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I so understand. I do hope your health is back ?
I too just don’t want much to do with anyone any more. I like my own company.
Hello Shirley,
I’m in a very similar position to you.Malcolm and I were together for thirty nine years and we weren’t married.He has two children a daughter and a son.
I get on well with his daughter but not the son.
Probate hasn’t been granted yet but Malcolm left everything to me and I am executor and sole beneficiary.
He also gave large sums of money to his children and also his grandchildren.
The son is aggressive and malicious and made no contact with his Dad who took suddenly ill.I could only contact him by text message and he showed no interest.He was extremely annoyed that even though I am not Malcolm’s next of kin by marriage the executor takes precedence which I am sure you are aware of.
The daughter doesn’t get on with her brother either but we are convinced that the son will contest the will.There is no contest but it won’t stop him trying.
It makes for a very unpleasant time especially when we are vulnerable.
I suppose many people have family problems and all we can do is deal with the situation according to our partners wishes.
Take care,sending love to you.xx
Thank you Pushkin
It 's hard at times to make sense of it all. As the executor I have to let him know where things stand but he never replies and the only feedback I get is from his partner. He has little or no relationship with his sister and blames everbody else for his problems and his mother makes excuses for him. He’s 43 years old and not 4 and as a father of 2 children should be more responsible.
I’m stressed out with it all and it doesn’t help when you are trying to manage your own life and anxiety levels.
It has helped knowing that someone else is in a similar position .Take care xx
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Fingers crossed you have a good journey back home today. Thinking of you x
All these ‘grown up’ children should be ashamed of themselves and their behaviour. It makes me feel cross that anyone would be so disrespectful to their deceased parent and cause so much pain to you all, as if we don’t have enough pain loosing a partner anyway.
My Thoughts are with you all xx
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I will let you know when I’m home Shirley thanks x
I totally agree with you Shirley.Malcolm’s son tried to register his Dad’s death but he was told that it was down to me to provide him with details,almost impossible,I text him and everything has been passed on to me by an intermediary.
He is 48 and has 2 children,he insisted on seeing Malcolm in the Chapel of Rest(Malcolm didn’t want anyone to do this ".I told the undertaker and they agreed he should comply with the will but I ended up giving in for the sake of peace.Then he wanted to be a pallbearer.The undertaker was at his wits end and suggested that Malcolm could be wheeled in on a trolley.
I didn’t like the idea of that it was cold and clinical with no human touch.So,guess what?I found myself giving in to that too.
He arrived at the funeral with his equally nasty wife,all dressed in black.The code was casual but preferably not black.
Malcolm hadn’t seen his son for 8 years.The grandchildren are now aged 20 and 16.
He didn’t even bring them to the funeral and straight after the service they walked off,having spoken to no one and didn’t attend the pub buffet meal despite the fact that his three cousins were there an aunty and an uncle and his Godson.
My stress levels have been sky high and I think it is deplorable to treat us and other family members so badly.
I shall be thinking of you Shirley,I will let you know what happens next in this sorrowful saga.
You take care too x
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So sorry. Words fail me and I just find it so disrespectfull to their fathers and extended families
I know that his partner is finding it hard too as their eldest son was close to his granddad.Although they aren’t coming here on Sunday to scatter Chris’s ashes she is going to do something special with the boys at 12noon so that they are there in spirit.
Whether his son turns up or not I don’t know and at this point in time I don’t care as in all honesty I don’t want him there . He’s been left a small sum of money but the solicitor will deal with that on my behalf . It’s not what he is expecting but that’s his problem. All I can say is once the legal bit is done I don’t have to have anything more to do with him
. Hopefully Probate will be through for you soon and you too will be able to say now that door is closed to Take care x
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Hello how are you feeling about seeing friends again?I have got slightly better but still feel anxious and not wanting people to notice.
I’m not going out of my way to avoid people now but I don’t meet up too often or too long.I find it hard to get my confidence back.
I hope you are coping better.x
Hope you got home ok and being back in your own bed has helped x
Morning yes I’m home but the day exhausted me and then I had Brownies. I’m taking my daughters dog for a long relaxing walk just me and Boris, he just listens and doesn’t answer back. I’m just sorting out water pressure on my boiler! Hope your doing OK x
Up and down have my eldest grandson here and he’s keeping me on my toes and it’s nice to have someone to cook for . Enjoy your walk and have that chat with Boris xx