Hi Shirley, how are you today, I had a lovely walk with my friend although it was very wet and stormy. I have my daughter and her family coming to stay 3 nights so the void will be filled and then once again it will be the complete absence to get use to again. So sorry your plans have changed I feel even though its difficult its the only thing which keeps us going.
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Hello Griff yesterday and today have been anxiety filled . Sunday gave me a sense of peace but for the last two days Iāve felt a real sense of loss and I think the reality of my new normal is hitting home. Someone said to be that itās when all the practical things have been done then grief resurfaces again to enable us to process and reflect on what has happened over the past few months. It does make sense and helps you understand why you feel the way you feel
Enjoy your time with your daughter and grandchildren and plan something for the day they go home. A walk in the rain suits me too although we have had a bright and sunny day here. I lived in East Yorkshire for 34 years so know what East Coast storms are like. Take care x
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Very true words Shirley, I have just sent my marriage cert to get widows pension from grahams work and once again cried in public its so embarrassing but Iām getting use to it and trying to embrace the moments of utter loss and grief.
The new normal for us is bloody tough but with the support on this site we can get through it, weāll weāve got no choice. X
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Baby steps Griff. We will get there tough as it might be we were lucky we were loved and we loved in return If we keep that love in our hearts we will live the life they wanted for us. Take care xx
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Morning, my daughter and family go home today and Iāve woken up with that awful anxiety and pure panic. The grandsons saw Grahamās grave and the chose which flowers the 7 year old put the flowers in the vase and made a heart shape with his hand and said take a picture, it broke my heart.
As we walked back we admired bunting across a street with a lady and she has invited me to a street party today, told me her name what was happening just so very kind, but I feel to anxious to go.
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Bless youGriff
Itās so hard and the long weekend isnāt helping either. The house has been busy and youāre feeling the emptiness and loss again. I donāt know what to say to make it better just hug them a little tighter before they go.and have a plan to see them.again soon Go to the street party even if itās just for an hour it will be a distraction and youāll have company for a short while. Take care xx
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I am in a similiar position around all the Jubilee stuff. My street is having a big party, 6 months in the planning. Iād rather keep well away from it but itās literally outside my front door. I am lucky I have lovely people in my street. Cos of all the advance stuff I know itās gonna be big and loud and I might find it overwhelming. I have agreed to run a stall, cos I feel like if I have a task itās better than wandering about aimlessly. If it wasnāt on my street I donāt think Iād go. Already decided Iām not going to the evening āknees upā, To anyone who hasnāt got a street party right outside their window Iād say go if you feel like, donāt force yourself if you donāt. If you do go and hate it, just leave. If you go and even enjoy just moments thatās a bonus. X
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Thanks nell n Shirley for the advice, nell I hope it goes well for you. Take care x
Thinking of you Griff hope youāre ok and being kind to yourself
I took myself down to my cousin,s for a chat as I needed to get out of the house the Jubilie hybe was getting to me Take care x
I went for a walk round whisby nature park and went to see my sister. Iām now home with jacket tate glass of wine n watching a movie later when Iāve decided what to watch. At least we got out heyš sleep well all.x
Well done you . I had pasta and mushroom mix with smoked haddock . We got through it enjoy the movie and sleep well xx
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Hello
Six weeks ago, my mother died and of course there is deep sorrow but what I found more difficult to manage was the anxiety. In fact, while she was dying in hospital, there were times I was absolutely petrified and it was probably the worst feeling I had ever felt in my whole life.
From my reading about bereavement, I know itās completely normal to have such anxiety because you are mourning a loss but the impact of someone dying and dealing with the changes of life and what this means for those who are left can be really difficult to manage.
I also had insomnia which I have got meds for and after 5 weeks of that, I am now able to sleep okay but my worry is my job. I have been off work for weeks now (unpaid) and I am ready to go back but I am so worried (more anxiety) about what others think.
The bottom line is bereavement can change everything and the constant anxiety is the worst part - go and get help (and meds if you need them) but just bear in mind you are going through one of lifeās worst moments.
Hope this helps somehowā¦
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Good morning
Howās the Bank holiday weekend been . Iāve found it hard going my anxiety had been more noticable and not so easy to manage. The mornings have been the
worst and my sleep pattern has been a bit erratic. Tried to keep busy went out for walks and voluntered at the local musuem but still felt that saddness coming back to an empty house.
I go away tomorrow to stay with an old friend and them down to my sons until later this month . I hate feeling this way but as we all are walking the same path and each of us is at a different stopping point. Then there is hope that it will get easier as we go further along this path called the new normal .Take care x
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Walked with my daughter yesterday, but today the weather is awful and Iām taking my mum in law out for dinner. Be pleased when itās Monday again. Like you Shirley I go on a walking holiday 11th June for a week and not sleeping too well thinking about it.
Think Iām at a bumpy part of my path on this journey but Iām not going to let it bet me.
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Morning Shirley,
A bit of mixed feeling about the bank holiday, Thursday I was helping at a old time sing along and afternoon tea, and Friday was our street BBQ and was kept occupied. Yesterday wasnāt so good, like you my sleep is all over the place, spent most of the day watching films on TV and dozing. My daughter was away for the weekend and my son was out too so a bit to much time on my own to think and feeling a bit sad.
After church today going to watch my granddaughter dancing at party in the park. I hope it stops raining soon.
Back to work on Monday.
Now I just live from day to day hoping I get better ones.
Take care, love Debbie X
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Thank you Griff & Debbie not easy times for any of us as bank holidays were something to look forward to. My weekend arrangements changed at the last minute due to my grandson having chicken pox so spent it at home and not over in Cheshire with them. Like you Griff I feel unsettled about the trip tomorrow but once Iām on the train thereāll be no turning back . The path is bumpy at the moment but it will pass and tomorrow is as they say another day . Be kind to yourselves today xxx
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Thursday and Friday very quiet didnāt see anyone but yesterday I joined neighbours at a little street party. Met people I didnāt know which was nice. Today going to my sisterās for a family BBQ so itāll be good to see them and my niece and nephew and their children.
Been watching the jubilee celebrations on TV and itās hard watching something so historic and not having mark here to share and talk about it with.
It makes us miss our loved ones more when important things happen.
Sending love to you all xx
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Itās tough at these times I watched the jubilie celebrations on facetime with my friend in Cumbria and it felt as if we were both sharing it with someone as sheās widowed too. I had my TV on mute and listen to hers and it worked really well as we chatted about what we were watching. Look after xx yourself and take care
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Well and iffy night and not much sleep a long train trip up to Cumbria beckon. Anxious and tired but hopefully when Iām on the train it will ease off and I 'll start to relax .Take care
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Iām sure once your on the train you will feel a little better Shirley., have a good trip. I like the idea of facetime whatspp to share the occasion with.
Barbara you couldnāt have said any better about something so historic and not having our partners to share it with certainly made me miss Graham more maybe not more but feel so sad that he isnāt here to experience these things together.
Love to all x
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