So sad to hear this Shirley, you will be worn out today. The memories of our loved ones from places and songs make us smile but our hearts heavy because we can’t make anymore memories with them .
I’m in Derbyshire walking holiday with friends, I have spoken about Graham a lot, smiled a lot and also realised that if he were here I wouldn’t be able to do the walks I’ve done or been as relaxed and as soon as I get melancholy I look for those silver linings. Not sure it’s the right thing to do but it’s making each day achievable.
Thank you Griff
I did manage to get off to sleep once I’d written my last message. Like you I’ve talked a lot this.week and memories have come flooded back. Once I’m on the train I’ll be fine its the waiting that’s the worst .I have to change at Wolverhampton and not knowing the station doesn’t help
So glad to hear you’re relaxing and sharing memories with friends keep being positive and keep walking in the stunning Derbyshire countryside x
Well after train cancellations and a mad dash to Carlisle I managed to get down to my son’s by early evening. Slept for 6 hours feeling tired but relaxed this morning and gave myself a big pat on my back for managing 3 train changes without getting anxious and panicky . How’s the walking going ?
Pleased you managed your journey ok. Well done and especially with you not feeling anxious. That is a big step.
I met a girl yesterday who I used to work with 30 years ago. Haven’t seen her since but we kept in touch with a Christmas card every year with a note in with our news. When she heard about mark she sent me a lovely card suggesting we meet up if I wanted. I wasn’t up to it then but messaged her last week to arrange it. Half an hour drive to her house and we went for a walk then lunch. Had a lovely afternoon. Although I felt a little bit anxious I couldn’t have done that a couple of months ago.
My medication is definitely helping me.
Have a lovely relaxing time with your family xx
Strangely enough the friend I stayed with was an old work colleaque who I hadn’t seen for over 30 years.,We’re both widowed and over the passed 8 months have supported each other through some dark days and good days too. We’ve just spent 10 days together and it was just as if it was yesterday that we’d seen each other. Build on the renewed contact Barbara and enjoy x
I dreaded the journey up to Cumbria last week and then down to Oxford yesterday but gave myself a stiff talking to and said you either take the plunge now and think what could be the worst thing that could happen and plan for it or sit at home and miss out on seeing good friends and family. Everyone on the trains and on the station platforms were really helpfull which made it feel less daunting and stressfull.
That’s very strange that you have also met an old friend after so long. I will build on it Shirley as I so appreciate her reaching out to me when other friends have failed.
Xx
Oh we have averaged 10 miles a day since Sunday Derbyshire is lovely, it’s the mist normal I’ve felt since Graham died, two more nights then home. Once again I’m ready for home.
Well done Shirley, so pleased you feel relaxed, give yourself another pat on the back from me x
So glad it’s going so well for you a big pat on the back from me . Ten miles a day is good going .Are you stopping somewhere at the end of your walk or do you have a base you go back to each evening ?.
Hello Solost,
I have the same problem. I lost my brother (age 74) four months ago and I too still have problems sleeping. I wake up after 4 hours and cannot go back to sleep again. I do not like to take sleeping tablets and I take 12mg Melatonin instead. (But, Melatonin also has side effects and can interact with some medication.) I like Melatonin it because because blue light triggers the body to destroy the Melatonin and I do not feel tired all morning. I do sleep 6 to 8 housers most of the time now. Also, I do take the Melatonin with some extra food when going to bed and hope it will prolongs my sleep. I also noticed that I can sleep longer if I got to bed earlier than 10, and, no TV after one hour taking the Melatonin. I hope this will help others too.
Nick
Morning Shirley, I had a good journey home and managed to get back before the rain came down. A friend picked me up last night and we went to another friends, which was nice after having company all week.
The holiday did me good until Thursday night Graham was in my dream alive and normal and I said oh your here, when I woke in the morning I was very upset and felt low for the rest of the day. I picking up again now though, are you home or at your sons still? X
Oh Griff that must have been so hard comforting on one level but hurting at another. I’ve dropped off in the chair and woken up thinking Chris was there next to me and those feeling are so real and reality hits hard. I’m still at my son’s he taking me back on Friday and will stay over night so that I’m not on my own that 1st night back. We should pat ourselves on the back for taking the steps we’re taking knowing that both Graham and Chris would be saying “good on you girl I’m proud of you” xx
Yes they would I think we give each other good support too, it’s nice to share our achievements along with the heart ache. Good days bad days all the way but the bad days are easier with the support of this online community. X
So true Griff knowing someone is there and understands without judgement what those bad days are like helps us put one step infront of the other and each achievement hopefully helps others take those steps too knowing there is hope for a future in what is the knew normal for us all.
The last couple of days have been iffy to say the least. Father’s day is never a good day for my sons as it was the last time they spoke to their dad ,he had a massive heart attack the following day and never recovered so yesterday was 17 years to the day he died and today it’s 7months to the date Chris died. Feel a bit battered and bruised trying to be positive and supportive for them both as well as being there for Chris’s daughter on the 1st Father’s day without her dad . Tomorrow hopefully will be a better day
So many 1st for them to go through and all we can do is be there for them and lick our own wounds in the stillness and quiet of our homes . Determind that tomorrow is going to be a better day x