Thank you, that might be a good idea. I’m not used to using taxi’s at all as my hubby would drive us everywhere. Yes, it would be good to just pop into town for half an hour but I really need to get my eye test done and if I went into town I would be then wishing I had gone in to get my eyes tested!! I hate getting them tested as it is because I have a highish prescription and have had so many problems with opticians! Although the last time I went in 2019 with my hubby it was okay. I was planning on trying to go on a Sunday when it’s much less busy in there and would try to book an appointment the same day as I I get very bad anticipatory anxiety. Just booking appointments and taxi is enough to get me very anxious!! I know I must face it all though. Thank you.
It doesn’t feel like many people are chatting at the moment. I hope everyone is okay. Don’t forget we are all here struggling through each day and share our experiences to help each other. I’m struggling this week. I’m struggle to go out and my anxiety is high. I’m crying a lot and feel I have gone backwards. I have the morning anxiety really badly x
Hi @Nel, I’m also struggling at the moment. 8 months for me since my husband died suddenly.
I have days where I feel I’m back in control, getting things done and coping ok and then I slip back. I’m not sure what brings it on but I’m finding it tough at the moment. I feel sad, sorry and envious of my friends who still have their partners with them.
I don’t want to feel this way but how do we cope?
I hope you have a better day today. I will try to make myself do something but I need to contact a friend or my family to arrange to see them and I’m finding that hard to do. I then end up sitting wasting time, doing nothing and then that makes me feel annoyed with myself.
Take care x
It’s tough and this road isn’t any easy one to walk along at the best of times. Anxiety hits us when we least expect it. Mine is usually bad in the mornings so I try and have a plan in my head for the day ahead but it doesn’t always work. I try and get out most days if only for a walk and that tends to work for me. Take care both of you and hopefully you get better days sòon
Hi
It’s coming up to a year for me and I have been doing ok but I think the anxiety is building as it gets nearer to the 21st of this month. I keep thinking what was happening this time last year. I try and go out every day even if it’s just a walk but I find I waste many mornings sitting struggling to get going.
Take care xx
I’m the same Nel.It’s ghastly feeling the familiar stomach churning.
What do you do to try and call yourself?x
Calm yourself
Hi Flossy3
You have put into words exactly how I feel.
8 months for me too. I haven’t done anything today, except a sudoku and a codeword. Don’t feel like doing anything much.
X
Hi . Yesterday I thought I need to do something with this life I don’t want . So my work colleagues were going out . I decided I would try and go with them . I decided what I would wear and was going to go to hairdressers . This was all thought about early hours Friday morning . When I woke after a couple of hours sleep . I felt terrible . Thinking about it . Could hardly breath . Was sick . Stomach churning . Hot and cold sweats . Headache . So I decided it would all be to much for me . So never went . I felt better . Must of been either panic attack or anxiety . Almost a year since my husband died . And my happy life ended . Don’t know if I will ever be able to live a life without him . I know I don’t want to . But what can I actually do . Other than sit thinking about what I haven’t got anymore . Thinking of you all xtake carex
Hi everyone, I can see that you’re in the same boat as me at the moment, on these long sad lo lonely Saturday afternoons. I’ve become so quick tempered lately, just had another row with my son about him getting up at lunch time every day, lazying around all day, not doing anything with his life,me nagging at him all the time. I just have no strength left, either physically or mentally. I can understand you @Broken2222, about changing your mind for that trip, I would have reacted the same way. I managed to go on a day out last week, but only because I was with my daughter, still felt ever so awkward and tearful the whole time though
My body was present physically, but mentally I wasn’t , I constantly thought of my darling husband, tried not to show my desperate sadness in front of my daughter of course.
Hi , I managed to go out the other week with daughter and her boys . To a sunflower farm . It was awful . I think I spoiled the day for them . Only went because daughter said the boys wanted me to go . I’m not the mam and gran I use to be , no matter how much I try . I was always full of fun . Now I just think how much I miss husband . And how much he is missing not seeing his grandkids . And kids . It’s all just so wrong . We should of still had years . I don’t want years without him . Sending a hug . Xtake carex
Hi Pushkin28 have you tried the NHS website it has about dealing with anxiety on that . Its called ‘every mind matters’ . It might give you some help on how to deal with anxiety
Hello Chiara,
No I haven’t but I will certainly take a look.Thank you for pointing me in the right direction.xx
Time with family feels sometimes like a double edged sword . You want to be with them but memories of better times come flooding back and that puts an edge on things too. I woke at 5.30 this morning with a start from a weired dream not quite a nightmare but unsettling nevertheless and having nobody to share it with made those feelings worse. This road is rocky at the best of time without early wake up calls.Anxiety is always there just under the surface just ready to bite you when you least expect it. How are you all doing ,? Take care x
Hi Shirleymc nights can bring on alot of troubles cant they . Maybe you should post if you are up in night again , say how you feel. I’m always up in night and always check in to this website. Could you put a 'positive ’ in place at that time =memory bk/box , organise a trip Did your loved one have a favourite place to visit , Could you make plans at that time and turn it to a positive?? Have you tried the NHS website on anxiety its called 'every mind matters ’ . Did your loved one have a favourite hobby ??? could you carry that hobby on ???What about an area in garden in memory to your loved one ?You could plan that in night . Try turn this time into a positive . I know i’ve been up for hours just crying and crying still feeling pain of grief but i try to put things into place at these times . I wanted an apple tree in garden to remember dad he used to have one So i go searching online for garden centres and try and plan it during night.It helps Sometimes its just a small help Sometimes the pain still there when i’m doing a 'positive ’ keep posting even during night . I’m sure other people check in to this website during night as well . your not on your own keep posting
Morning
I woke early this morning after a strange dream too. Mark hasn’t really been in my dreams much but in this one he was dead but still with me and with me everywhere I went. Then he disappeared and it was like losing him all over again and I was really upset in my dream and when I woke up I was crying. It’s knocked me for the day. Having trouble getting going but got a few jobs to do so will have to try and keep busy.
Hope your day goes ok xx
Hope you have had a reasonable day. Saw on a previous post that it’s getting close to a significant anniversary so it’s not suprising you are feeling the way you do. Chris died on the 21st November and I want to plan to do something on the day but not sure what at present. Just do what you are doing Barbara and take comfort if you can from your dream last night x
Thank you. I’ve been busy doing housework, then went for a bit shopping so got through the day ok.
My daughter has taken the day of work for mark’s anniversary. We will spend the day doing something but not sure what yet. Wish I could just go to bed and sleep and wake up when September is over but just have to plod on and get through it.
Hope your day has been ok xx
That’s all we can do Barbara . I’m glad you had a reasonable day and hopefully a reasonable week too. I did my stint at the Musuem which helped the day pass quickly but am not looking forward to it closing in November or to the 21st of that month . The winter months loom and I hope that for all of us facing them alone that they pass with as little anxiety as possible. I like you have joined a support group and Tai chi and am begining to pick up the threads of what will be my new normal. Take care xxx
Hi Barbara,
Your right about plodding on its either that or crumble. I think its good to allow ourselves to crumble but not give in to it and plod on with our faces on most days as we do. Get the lippy out that’s what me n Shirley do 
x