Oh, I know exactly how you feel. I think I’m going mad sometimes when I just close my eyes and imagine being in my husband’s arms and feeling his warmth.
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I’m sat here crying. I don’t know what else to do x
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Hi . It’s a year next week since my husband died , I have had so many emotions this year that I have never experienced ever before . Paranioa , depression, total anxiety, jealousy, envy, guilt, sadness . And others I can’t explain . I feel and know I am no ones number one now . No one cares just about me . No one loves me the way a partner did. You could just say I’m feeling sorry for myself , what I know I am as well as grieving not only for my husband , but for the life we had together, also for the me that use to be . I am a nothing now . I have nothing and nothing to look forward to in the future . A future that I don’t want without my husband . Thinking of you ALL . Sending a hug to ALL . I think we all need one xtake carex
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Hi Broken2222,
Having just read your post I have ended up in floods of tears. I had to step away for a few minutes to catch my breath. I also said those words (to family) about not being any ones number one priority any more. No one having my back so to say. My wing man has gone. How alone does that make us feel. Others just don’t understand. Even if you are feeling sorry for your self … why not? I would say you are entitled to. I also feel like you about the future … it stinks.
Take care of yourself as best you can.X
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Hi , sorry I upset you , but I guess that’s how we all feel , the slightest thing has us in floods of tears. It does help to know I am not the only one who feels like this . Sometimes I think I have totaly lost the plot . And think it’s only me and my stupid thoughts . Yes this so called life / exsistence is shit . And I can’t see it getting any better . As I’m typing this 'yesterday 'by the Beatles is on radio . Now I’m in floods of tears . Sending a big hug . Xtake carex
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Hi,
You didn’t upset me. My life as it is now upsets.X
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Hello to all of you that have been awake most of the night again ,sleep evades us doesn’t no matter how we try to manage our anxiety and emotions. I lie in bed thinking of nothing in particular and from nowhere the tears and hard sobs come the house feels cold and empty and i long just to hear someone breathing beside me . I hate nights like this
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So sorry for you and totally understand. Ive been up since 5am, as usual, still pitch dark at that time. I only ever sleep a few hours every night, if I’m lucky. It is so tough to adjust to this new dreadful life we’ve suddenly been catapulted into. I will never accept it, I keep saying to my husband that he’s still here, he can’t be gone, we just can’t see him. I think I’m going mad sometimes but then I read everyone’s posts here and realise we can all relate to each other, helps me get through my day.
A little anxiety drops help me at night, if I don’t take them, I don’t get a wink of sleep.
Take care.
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Thank you. I take meds about an hour or so before going to bed so do manage to get off to sleep most nights but staying asleep is the problem Some nights I can manage 6 hours other nights it’s a broken pattern of sleep and the anxiety kicks in and lasts most of the morning . Acceptance is so hard but accept it we must so that we can slowly build our lives without their physical presence .
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Shirley Mac and So lost. I too had a bad night. I woke at 2. It was dark. I catnapped my way to 7 but am feeling very anxious. I feel if I start crying I will never stop. Why is life so hard. I’m also afraid of how the panic makes me feel. X
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Thank you Nel. It’s tough and the total media coverage of the Queen’s death just hightens our senses even more as those emotions are just under the surface for all of us on that rocky path through our grief’s journey. Hopefully it will get better as this week progresses but next Monday will be a hard day for all of us me thinks as it’s reliving our final moments with our loved ones too Take care xx
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Good morning all. Today is not going to be an easy day for any of us keep safe and try not to let those feelings of loss and anxiety overwhelme you reach out on here talk to someone about how it’s affecting you . I’m away from home and although I am sleeping better the anxiety is there every morning and take until late morning before it subsides .
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@Broken2222 OMG, that is almost the same as me: I had an attack last week, collapsed, blue light to hospital… I’ll do a separate post shortly as I’d like to know if this is common, and how to prevent it…
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Yes I know exactly how you feel about there being a force field around the house and garden…I’m glad it’s not just me…its a struggle to just go and buy shopping.
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I watched the queens funeral for an hour. It brought back all the tears and sadness as if it was yesterday. I had to turn off and had a wander around the park. May she rest in peace with Philip xx
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I was planning on watching it but at the last minute, I decided not to. I just can’t watch funeral scenes, even during a film or TV series, I just change channels or turn off the TV. I know I would have watched it if my darling husband was still here, would have watched it together.
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Hi , hope your feeling a bit better now . I think mine was just stress of trying to make myself do something I don’t want to . I think I’m still not ready to try and have a life without my husband . Don’t know if I ever will be ready . But I know now not to push myself . In the meantime I will just exsist . Hope you don’t have anymore episodes like we had . Thinking of you xtake carex
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Yes that’s why I only watched a few minutes of the funeral coverage…Too painful.
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Good morning all
Anxiety is back after over a week of good nights it’s back with avengence. I have been back in Yorkshire and it has triggered memories of my late husbands death and Chris’s early cancer journey and that gut whrenching feeling of loss when you realise it’s now just you without your wingman . Back up to Cumbria.tdy then I travel home on Monday hope it’s a better night tonight Take care xx
Hey Shirley,
I’m also awake with anxiety woke up with such a start, feel so hot and sick. My eyes are so tired. Right now your not alone I’m here x
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