Hi Griff. Shirley. Do you take anything for your anxiety or have any tips on how to cope with it. I too am awake with anxiety. Safe trip to Cumbria. Is it visiting family x
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My hubby suffered GAD very badly after breakdown wouldnāt go out if it was windy as anxious he might fall over.
I think about whatās making me anxious today and what am I doing, whatās the worse that could happen. Thing is I know tge anxiety has come since Graham died, so thatās one questioned answered.
After that I do wordle and candy crush to give myself a distraction and time to calm. When you know the worse thing could happen you an fir it think is it logic and the day is easier to face. The main thing is we are having to adapt to a new why of life without our wingman and safety cushions, itās not what we chose and I want Graham back.
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Thanks Griff. Iām here for you too. Part of me feels I shouldnāt have come over here and perhaps it was too soon but it was good to see old friends and share some memories . Just want a good cry but it wonāt come as that one person who would be there to hold and reassure you isnāt there so you just hold it in Iām not very good at practising what I preach lol. Going to get up and start the day take care tdy and get that lippy out sending you a big virtual hug xx
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Hello Nel
Like Griff I too confront my anxiety and tell myself Iām safe Iām strong and I will be Ok. Itās tough and adjusting to this new way of living takes a lot of time and energy. I take mirtazapine at night to help me sleep and am just coming to the end of one to one counselling which has helped with managing my anxiety but still have bad days and try to work through them by distracting myself and having a routine to my day. Xxx
I donāt know if it is a help to anyone, but because I have suppressed all tears and outward emotion since I was 7 {another story}, was/am so devoted to my darling Sharon and cared for her every need for 3 years (including 5 months at her bedside in the hospice 24/7) - the doctors are all over me like a rash.
They seem to thinks itās melodramatic - which it isnāt - but Sharon and I were going to have the Notebook ending together (which didnāt happen as she was so well cared for in the hospice) and it was common knowledge I was going to end, and follow my soul mate.
So, I have the GP calling me in to see him regularly, and am seeing 2 bereavement counsellors and a psychiatrist - who have spoken and put me on an anti-depressant called āSertralineā. I also had an attack of some kind (Iāll post separately) and was blue-lighted to hospital.
I think the Sertraline has taken the edge off the panic attacks, and at the moment Iām not going to end - although that is because my darling girl agreed with my thoughts, but said at the last minute: ābut you know the boys will never get over itā rather than any drugs or inputs from others.
I was very reluctant to take drugs, BUT in my limited experience, if anxiety/panic is a big issue for you, its worth talking to a GP aboutā¦
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Back at my friends in Cumbria went to bed and fell asleep ok but woke at just before 4am and those anxious feelings surfaced again tried writing them down and although that did help I struggled to get back off to sleep itās that feeling in the pit of your stomarch that is so hard to shift even though your mind has calmed and you feel back in control it is still there and Iām at a loss as to how to shift it.
I just want to turn the clock back and wake up looking forward to the day ahead and sharing it with that special someone but thatās not the reality of this new life is it. Adjustment and acceptance is in my belief the hardest part of this journey . What do you think and how do you all cope with the here and now?
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Well Shirley I think I cope by distraction I have a lot planned (so do you though) and try to focus on those things. I feel tired, exhausted, anxious and just want Graham by my side tbh. Iām fully aware that canāt happen and it breaks my heart, so much has happened since he died and I want to share it all with him.
I get the lippy out once the anxiety has eased and muddle through the day. Iāve lost a lot of weight since Grahamās death and Iām getting use to being a different person because the old me has gone forever. I think we loose a bit of ourselves when our soul mates die. Xx
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We do lose a bit of ourselves but I do see the old me popping up at odd times through the grief. Iāve lost a lot of weight too I did loose a lot of weight after Dave died it 's the shock and living off adrenaline that causes it hopefully as we begin to adjust our bodies will do so to and we reach a point that our minds and body are in harmony and relaxed. Lippy is running out fast lol .We will do whatever it takes but we will build a life because that is what they would want us to do and live it as best we can otherwise they will be kicking our BTMās xxxx
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Hi yes I lost my mum a year ago and my anxiety has been through the roof. I have felt like a child again at time having melt downs over stupid things. Iāve been having bereavement councilling and anxiety councilling and Iām on the list for trauma councilling. I feel so stupid though at my age that Iām feeling the way I do. I just want to be happy , im gradually finding the old me again which is lovely but then feel guilty and anxious that Iām going to be judged ! Ugh grief churns up so many emotions!
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Hello Jaks , quite often emotions we donāt always understand. Never feel stupid for how you are feeling grief is a strange and unwelcome guest but everyone on here understands.
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Hi yes itās very unwelcome and happens whenever it wants to. I think I feel stupid because I didnāt deal with the trauma grief all those years ago and now mixed in with the grief of my mum
My head is so muddled. The pain I feel of loosing my mum is like no other Iāve ever feltš
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Good morning . A better night slept off and on most of yesterday evening and thankfully managed to get off to sleep when I went to bed. Iām going home tomorrow and then travel to my sonās in Paris on Thursday so my anxiety levels will be all over the place this week. Iāve tears in my eyes whilst writing this and I want them to flow but they just wonāt come I miss the joy of sharing my thoughts etc with Chris each morning I think itās the hardest part of losing that special one hence those feelings of panic and fear for the future .Itās like living in a parrellel universe to everyone around you
X
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Hi Shirley Iām so glad you got some sleep. I think you are a brave woman going to Paris. Iām sure once your there with your son you will feel better. I will be thinking about you x
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Morning everyone well
I have woken up with that pit of anxiety in my stomach, I have a hospital appointment tomorrow so I know itās about that. So stupid as my daughter will be with me I find myself tapping my thumb and middle finger together when Iām in a anxious situation. My anxiety lady has taught me breathing and other technics but I canāt seem to make her understand by the time I think oh il breathe itās too late and doesnāt work! I know part of what she does is to try to get me to change my heads way of thinking . So you going to Paris I really admire you for having the courage to do so.
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I tried laughing yoga last night. Apparently even false laughter can work. It actually did work. In the end I felt more relaxed. I watched it on iTunes. Whatever works. I am fed up of feeling like an anxious mess.
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Utube sorry
Hi Mel oh il
Have to look at that. My neighbours will think Iām more nuttier than i appear 
. Its all very draining isnt it. I always thought it was just me that felt this way. Have a lovely Sunday 
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Nel sorry not mel 
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Thank you. At the moment I donāt feel very brave travelling home tdy from Cumbria and the thought of an empty house fills me with dread after having company for the last two weeks. I know the anxious thoughts are illogical and do ease but at times I just canāt shake them off. I dread lookimg at the clock in the morning as it hits 6am and the kick in the pit of my stomach kicks in and I canāt shift it. Once Iām on the train Iām ok as there are people around that will help if needed and Iām being met at the station
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Ot is that going back to a empty house that is so daunting. I keep thinking about getting a dog but the thought of all what goes on with one i dont think i could do it again. I still think you are brave so be proud of yourself as that is one step forward. xx
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