Think we all think about that Jason I know I have, my husband died suddenly January I’ve spent nearly a year in a world of my own can’t believe he’s never coming home, I’ve got through our wedding anniversary which was Christmas Eve Christmas and now New Year’s Eves approaching he died Jan 3 I’m still here don’t know why, probably because I know he would’ve wanted me to carry on, one day when it is my time I know he will be waiting, grieve is love 
the harder you grieve shows how much you loved them don’t give up take your time to come to terms with it you can talk on here rant scream shout whatever you need to do to get through each day every body on here are going through the same your not alone x
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Thank you Lin.
I have been rejected by my partner’s friends, family, hospital staff.
I felt I am the most hated person in the world.
I feel for you @Lin22,
Our wedding anniversary was Christmas Eve and my gorgeous Christine died on 6th January.
This is a brutal time of year. x
Hi Jerry,
I always blame myself for not caring for my partner well.
Often dispute argument.
I feel for you @JerryH and @Lin22, I lost my dear husband on 10 January, and having lived through the nightmare of Christmas, we have to face so soon, the heartbreaking anniversary of losing them. May we find some sort of peace with our memories and love for them. xx
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Hi,
If you family friends particularly your beloved side, that would help.
Unfortunately i have none.
Thank you @JasonJason, I will have some support but sometimes it’s good to be alone with your thoughts and memories.
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To Jerry H and Rome 18 it’s been a difficult and sad Christmas Eve and Christmas, I spent Christmas Eve on my own for most of the day remembering our wedding day from waking up in the morning to the ceremony such a wonderful day I was so proud and happy that he chose me to be his wife we spent 37 wonderful years together we were soulmates till the end, now I feel like I don’t belong here it’s like time’s passing me by and I’m stuck. January 3 rd is approaching the day my world stopped, I will be thinking of you both and hope you get through this next few weeks x:heart:
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I don’t know how to move on.
I love my partner, even i don’t know exactly what love means.
@JasonJason, I hear you, this is very common, my new bereaved friends share the same feelings. At this point, I still do not know or if I want to know how to get out of that feeling. So these days, if this thought comes up, I try to pray to ask God to take me though… and some other plans…
@Jerry, I feel so bad for you upon reading this. How are you holding up ? Do you have someone, somewhere to go to daily/or every couple of days, just to give you some sense of bearing ? My most difficult time is spring, and dread this coming one also, his angelized date. I am still very much traumatized…and not sure how long I can last like this…
If you need to chat, please sing on everyday, I will also check in and say hi. You can talk about anything you want… I am all ears, And others would be too…
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@Lin My heart goes out to you… it is so recent, yes, cry, scream and curse…pound the pillows. But make sure you have some hot drinks to keep yourself hydrated and warm. Take some food if you can,… And come here everyday, to chat, I will check in daily …ok God bless.
I hope i could have support from partner’s family but they chose not to speak to me
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@JasonJason Very sorry. This happened to two of my two bereaved friends, their partner’s family simply stopped all communication, What I can say is that it could be your presence trigger their grief, because they really want their love to be alive, and you remind them of that deep loss. And they cannot bear it. Could you see if you can join a spousal bereavement support group and make some friends. I find that helps me greatly just like this forum except in person is even better, Grievers can share stories and time together, and support each other better in person.
I will pray for you here that God send you human angels to give you support.
I must sign off now. to get some sleep here… please take good care, one step at a time… be kind to yourself. Hug.
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sorry do not know how to delete this post
Thank you. But i may can help them too.
Hi @LolaA,
Thanks for your message. It’s very sweet of you.
Somehow I am getting through the days, and somehow I will get through the coming anniversaries. But it is ghastly. I completely understand your dread of the coming Spring. Of course the anniversaries are awful enough as it is without this additional burden of dread that we carry. It would be good to shrug it off!
Like yourself, and as many others have commented recently, I know that I cannot carry on indefinitely in this state. There is a growing wish to effect a change within me. In a perverse way, I think there is a certain security (I would almost say comfort) in our grief, we kind of know where we stand within it and intimately why it is in the first place. I feel it also gives rise to a stasis within us because of what it embodies.
I want to effect some change, hopefully it will be for the better. I very much doubt it could be for the worse! But I am scared. I don’t want to make the wrong decisions and I am not clear as to what it is that I want … other than some change.
Hugs and best wishes to you. x
Simon
I hope my partner s family understand together all we can go through.
@JerryH Simon, If I understand you correctly, when you say in a perverse way, refers to how we somehow stay in the grief because this is how we can continue to live with our beloved. I would say this seems to be how I have been functioning. Since the beginning I have been exploring this Love Never Dies modality albeit unusual, by which we continue the bond we forged with our angelized spouse. I suppose I believe the possibility of the meeting of one’s soulmate. Not all marriages/coupling are of soulmate nature. Of course, now this presents a whole set of concerns… as you also indicated here, what changes to make for walking forward again. Does this include putting our beloved in a photo-album ? Or walking solo, and just have millions activities/hobbies, and friends to nauseam ? What is the direction and why ?
I believe our age group is quite difficult, because we are too young to die (if God allows), too old to start a completely blank slate (despite what some say). We are sort of a well formed porcelain unfortunately knocked down by the strong wind, and the pieces must now be put back together. Can it be in the same shape as before ? Can it be placed in the same room ? Well, all these questions.
Changes , so true, what , where, how ? I read some people just try anything, to see which one eventually stay …
How are you today ?
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