@JasonJason. Perhaps be patient… give them time ? We each deal with grieving differently…Meanwhile, pray for them ?
Here is our guardian angel dog for us…. 
The cousin of our guardian angel dog, who works on the same team … Hope he/she may bring a smile to your day…
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My partner’s family have been influenced by my partner’s friends.
So family would take 1 sode story.
This situation has been created through the acrimonious collusion of certain individuals who have promulgated me to the rank of persona non grata.
I don’t know how to deal with it.
Only blame myself.
Afternoon/evening @LolaA,
Yes, that is what I was driving at. Grief could be viewed as an affirmation of the love we had, it also seems to be a very tangible experience so in a sense as we crave the presence of our lost beloved so there may be a tendency to cling to our grief. However, grief has many painful aspects so we may seek relief from it by way of distractions, keeping busy, lots of hobbies, immerse ourselves in friends etc. So a great tension grows within us which perhaps manifests as a restlessness, a feeling that we need change but are uncertain as to what change. Change may also itself give rise to further internal conflicts, which confuses and obscures the potential paths open to us further. Just a thought!
I agree with what you say about the “quite difficult” for our age group. Certainly not a blank slate, we have assimilated varied and rich life experiences, but I do not subscribe to the premise that older folk cannot change or are necessarily set in their ways and I believe there is an increasing amount of hard evidence that refutes this notion. But certainly I suspect that we may be more cautious and considered in approaching change. While this I would suggest is in general desirable, in the particular case of feeling the need for change when in grief, it is a hinderance (for me at least).
The same shape as before? No. How can it be? In the same room as before? Hmmm … that I’m not so sure about.
I am OK thanks. Trying to reflect with honesty just what I mean and want by change! But something has to happen …
Hope your day has gone OK. I think it’s the evening for you as a write this early afternoon in a rather grey and rainy London.
Simon
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I feel that grieving is hope of i wanted my voice and my emotions feeling been heard.
I may be wrong.
I have never lost anyone like my long term partner such close in my life.
Hi @JasonJason,
Yes, I can understand that.
I don’t think anything could prepare you for the profound effect the death of your partner would have upon you. If someone told you, you probably would not believe them and even if you did, the lived experience is something else altogether.
It is just astoundingly difficult.
Jerry, thank you.
I have guilt.
I had promised my partner before i would not loose my temp on my partner again. But i did again again again.
How come i didn’t blame myself.
I blame myself i didn’t take care of my partner, i blame myself i didn’t cherish time we were together.
I blame myself i am still alive.
I blame myself my partner’s friends and family don’t want to have anything to do with me.
I blame myself i messed up everything for my partner and myself.
Hi @JasonJason,
It sounds as if you are under a most terrible burden at the moment, not only grief but also guilt. This is a most difficult time, you may be thinking catastrophically, in black and white. It is extremely challenging to be objective; rationality goes out the window.
Have you spoken to your GP about how you are feeling? Maybe see if it would be possible to get some bereavement counselling as this may help relieve you of some of your burden? I think there are signposts to additional support on the Sue Ryder website.
Whatever, keep posting to this forum. The folk here understand what you are going through.
Strength and best wishes to you.
I have no family at all; he was all I had. My friends and neighbours have been amazing, but at the end of the day I’m on my own. It really got to me this week, thinking that if I went into hospital and they asked for a next of kin, I don’t have any. It’s so hard coping with aloneness on top of the grief.
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I am sorry. I am sorry.
I spoke to gp many times.
I don’t want drugs.
Waiting for bereavement counseling may be a few months away.
And this even makes me feel mire guilty and miss my partner as only my partner cares about me in real.
The saddest thing was i was forced to leave and not contact my partner for the last few weeks.
I had no news from hospital from nurses from anyone.
The whole world has forgotten me.
I was not informed my partner’s passing funeral.
My partner’s family refused to talk to me after they spoke to my partner s friends.
Please help me here.
@JerryH Simon, good to know you seem to be ok. Hang in …one day, the colour of the grass would appear green again, we just have changed.
My day has gone ok, that is I manage to spend it without making a fool of myself… Thank you for asking. I am not sure how your state of mind at this point (re: widow brain - the fogginess that comes with extreme grief). I have had it for very long time. My cognitive ability has gradually been returning. It has helped me to be more careful with others in general. In view of my new placement in the world, it is paramount.
It is great to see that you are reflective, I believe while it may add another layer of burden onto ourselves initially, but thinking, analyzing, intuiting, spiritual seeking, are so beneficial along our long term trajectory.
In agreement with you, Neural plasticity has demonstrated that older or injured brains can be retrained. For sure, at this age we can still learn and change.
I am not too sure if I understand you correctly. Could you clarify: But certainly I suspect that we may be more cautious and considered in approaching change. While this I would suggest is in general desirable, in the particular case of feeling the need for change when in grief, it is a hinderance (for me at least). . I am unclear if you think being cautious towards change during grief seems to be a hinderance for you or not.
In regarding making changes, one potential therapist I spoke with highlighted the necessary focus on change if I were to join the group (mixed group not specific for loss). All my hair stood up immediately. I sternly told him that change for change sake is not necessary helpful for me at this point, I need to anchor myself somehow, since I have been drifting in the vast ocean for a very long time…there has been nothing but changes, the ones that I have never asked for.
Have you thought of what kind of changes ? Travel around the world ? Become a farmer (assuming you are not )?
When I say the same room … I am referring to how I notice some people can continue on at the same city, town, while others pack up and leave. What would be deciding factors for those of us with no children ?
Appreciate your honesty and very thoughtful comments.
Stay warm … a cup of hot tea ? Take good care.
We have been raining here in Toronto for almost a week now, instead of snow, I think it is turning into London…
Chat again…
@JasonJason Keep posting here, we will chat with you. Would you seriously consider finding a bereavement group which meet in person ? Please check with Sue Ryder for any recommendation…
In my first six months, it was very very bad for me, very isolated, it was during the pandemic lock down. With God’s grace, I was able to join an online bereavement group, which essentially saved my life.
And now for you, please go find a widowed bereavement group which meet in person, you would meet some people , and make new friends. They do not have to be the best of friends… just people with whom you may meet for a coffee, a phone call, some actual human contact… I believe this may help you a lot. Perhaps it would help with the sense of aloneness …?
Take care… May God send you human angels to comfort you,
@Mist2 You are very welcome… our pet animals are so good…love us unconditionally… even when we are full of tears,…XX
@Catrin, You just brought up a very good detail… we may have to put down our siblings, friend, or relatives’s names… 
Thank you
I tried search online but nothing i could find.
I wish i no longer in this world.
What’s point to continue when my loved one is not with me any more.
When my loved one didn’t leave any words for me. When my loved one didn’t want to speak to me during the last weeks. When I didn’t have chance to see my loved one for the one last time. Etc