Hi @Bluecatmum77 - bloody tough day here x I cannot face today x I have clambered back into bed and now I can’t sleep x 15 weeks ago he was spending his last night at home x we lay here x I watched his every breath but even then, we had no idea he would be gone by the Wednesday x I am thankful that I had the time to cuddle say goodbye but it was so hard so shocking to see his deterioration x devastating stuff x x I’m so purple today and can not shake out of it x I’m so sad x x love to you all x
@Cinders21 @Bluecatmum77
I’m sorry both of you have had such a crap start to the day. I hope both of you find the day improves.
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Thank you x @Bristles and @RichardM x to be sure today, I feel I will or I’ve.realised I will never be free of this grief and feeling if loss so certainly - today is very bleak x However I have bargained with myself that however sad I am tomorrow, I will work hard to do something positive and kèep my promise x x I can hear myself saying it to him x I’ll be Ok Ste, it won’t be easy but I promise you I will be ok, I will do all my favourite things and I will live for each day and live my best life, I promise … you are not to worry about me’ so there we have it, my promise to my gorgeous man … and I will x x x
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Such a beautiful promise and you will. When the time is right. Small steps xx
Hello @Cinders21 I loved your brave declaration to be brave and live your best life in spite of your sadness. What a wonderful Valentine’s day gift to your husband, and a lesson for us all. Thank you for posting.
Love and light. x
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Hi Gang,
Well Sunday Bloody Sunday again with the added bonus of being Valentines Day .
We never paid much attention to it to be honest, we didn’t need one day to tell the world we were so very much in love .But today I went to her grave and took a dozen red roses and talked to her just so she knew she was and always will be in my heart,even though it’s broken 
beyond repair
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That was when we realised he had days only to live x x i don’t feel quite so brave today but I’m working on it @Jean2 x it’s so hard, we can’t deny that x x
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Dear Mickp and Gang
Ian and I did not do Valentines Day but for some reason today is so hard - I think it is as the weeks gather momentum and hurtle towards our wedding anniversary in March. Too much time thinking of what I have lost and have flashbacks to the day he died.
Weekends are a real challenge as the small number of friends/family who have remained in contact since Ian died tend to call during the week.
I will try and make an effort to get washed tomorrow but just getting out of bed is a challenge.
Dear Mickp
Mine is 13 March - it is also my late dad’s birthday. I am hoping the lockdown eases as I need to just disappear for the day.
Will be thinking of you and take care.
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Hi gang,
I was never a fan of Valentines. Too many rose thorns in my hands from being a florist, but Hubby was a hopeless romantic.
He always made a big fuss.
So i did it for him.
You dont need a specific day of the year to tell someone love them.
Our anniversary and my birthday (that was our first date)
Were our special days, but for some reason, today has REALLY got to me?
I miss him so badly.
Its really kicking in now. The shock has subsided and the reality is taking over.
I just want to stand at the top of a hill and scream and cry.
Appetite is coming and going. The desire to sleep is so poweful.
Made myelf clean the kitchen. Have a shower.
Change the bed.
Simple things that feel like you have run a marathon when you have done them.
Feeling quite pathetic.
Hope and pray i have a better week next week. Xxx
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S9 similar to how things have hit me… a shocker today x very odd x @Bluecatmum77 I am.certainly wishing I could sleep the day away x but I can’t sleep x I’m a bit better now
… ok not being ok x hope you are too x x x
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I find I do everything on auto pilot…housework, stripping the bed, bins out, eating.
We weren’t fans on valentine’s. We did cards. I got our last years card and got him some daffodils, his favourite
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@Sheila26 I’m hoping our anniversary day is fine weather.
There’s a nice bench close by to where her ashes are buried and I plan to sit with her.
Take care x
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That’s beautiful. I keep flowers by my wife’s picture always .
Take care
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Misty1972. That’s beautiful. You made a lovely coupIe. I feel exactly like you, on autopilot. I wish you as good a day as you can manage and I hope things will get better for all of us in this awful nightmare.
Hugs
AnnR x
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Sorry Misty, I should have said you MAKE a lovely couple! That will never change.xx
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@AnnR Thank you. I spend my life now slipping between me/us, mine/ours. It will always be us but so hard at times. I hope your day is ok xx
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@Misty1972
Beautiful beautiful picture.xx
Gang, just another 7 hours of this sh*t day to go. Xx
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Hello @Misty1972. I find myself doing the same as you - swapping between ours/ we/ mine/ us. It will always be us and I still think of this as our house. I am still Mike’s wife and l always will be.
Love to you all on this very difficult Valentine’s day. xx
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