Anyone out there?

Ste is next to the tv in the kitchen where he always sat x His glasses are also there and a can of Carling in the fridge ! Xxx

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Hi gang. Xx
Cried and cried, but feel so happy heā€™s home. Xx
Hes currently tucked up in bed.
Thank you ALL for your lovely messages of support.
Means the world. :kissing_heart:

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Morning Bluecatmum77

So pleased you are reunited and finding comfort
Big hugs
Julie

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Morning gang.xx
Once again, THANK YOU ALL so much for the amazing support i received yesterday. It really helped me more than i can express on here.

It feels wonderful to have him home.
Ive hugged and hugged him.
Heā€™s wrapped in the jumper that smells of him.
I feel SO peaceful today.
Yes, the iron ball is still there, but i suppose this is another part of the healing process.
My girl cat, who was his baby, went straight to the jumper, sniffed it, lay down on it and curled up.
When i brought him home, as i got out of the car, a white feather blew straight across my path.
If that isnt a sign, i dont know what is?
I am going to enjoy my happy feelings.
It is wonderful to have him home.
I know we will be together again one day.
I feel he is at peace.
I pray for strength almost every night and that he is at peace.
I know another meltdown is around the corner, but for now, im also at peace.
Sending positive vibes, love and light. Xxxx

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Thank you @Bluecatmum77, for sharing. The ups and downs, (if any are actually up!!! ) really help me to see I am not going mad. One minute, I am full of super human strength and determination, the next minute, I am a snivelling devastated wreck! 15.3 weeks without my ---- I grit my teeth with love for him ---- gorgeous pain in the neck that was my Steā€¦ Soon we will be gardening and I know Ille be talking about Robins and Great Tits and spending time with friends x x I hope I can muster up the mojo, stop eating rubbish food and start some kind of life againā€¦ Itā€™s literally, all grief work and no play right now x

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@Cinders21 and all. Xx
It is so important that we all share our days.
Last week i was so desperately low i was getting concerned about my mental health.
I am on anti depressants. Have been for years, but i recognise the signs.
This week has been up down up down, this morning i am quite calm, dare i say happy? X
I too, cant wait to get stuck in the garden.
Its currently p*ssing down and blowing a gale.
Think ill stay indoorsā€¦for a change.
Cats have stolen the best seats in the house, so im perched at a funny angle on the sofa.
Will watch some crap t.v. have a siesta and be kind to myself.
My man is home. Xx
I miss him so much.
We all miss our lived ones so much.
There is no pain like this.
I woukd rather have a gallstones attack (had my gallbladder out 15 years ago) than go through this. Emotional pain is way worse than physical pain.
Spring is on its way.
The new season will bring hope and strength.
We will all get through this.
We will be ok. We wont ever get over it, but we will learn to live our lives without our loved ones.
I feel guilty for thinking positive thoughts and making plans.
I dont want him to think ive forgotten him?
That getting on with my life means im over him. That will never happen. Xx
Stay strong people.
If you are having a bad day reach out.
We are all here for each other.
Im having a goodish day. Xx

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He knows that you are never over him x x that there will always be loss but it makes sense to carry on x life is a gift ā€¦ I like t9 think I owe it to the universe to make the best of things and Steve was the same, i am not really religious although he did choose to have God in his service ā€¦ I can relate.to so much you say, I too got really concerned for my mental health a few days ago ā€¦ negative stuffā€¦

I CANT DO THIS ā€¦
I CANT BE HERE

But ā€¦ itā€™s all part of the.process x x but we know hiw hard this is x x a 24/7 fight every day x lots of love to all of you x

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@Bluecatmum77 @Cinders21 you have both given me hope today. Yesterday was one month. Wednesday next week is the funeral. Reading your comments today feels me with hope. Thatā€™s all i need at the moment. Thank you

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@Misty1972
It will be a tough tough day.
You will be in our thoughts and hearts.
We are all here for you.
We all know what each other is going through.
Sending love and hugs. Xxxx

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Thank you :two_hearts:
I was sceptical when joining a group but the comfort it brings from talking to those that understand
I have friends who say they do but realistically cannot. Itā€™s not their fault.
I know John would want me to be ā€œhappyā€ for want of a better word. I donā€™t know what that looks like but hope to find peace in my life eventually

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Hi All, Tomorrow it will be three months since she died. Is that a milestone ? a quarter of a year ? .
Still haunted by events yesterday I phoned Cruse and have been registered for counselling albeit it wonā€™t start for up to 4-6 weeks .
The lady I spoke to was sweet and now I wished Iā€™d done it earlier She thinks as well as the obvious grief Iā€™m traumatised by the events I witnessed in hospital. Iā€™m sure thatā€™s true of many of us who have memories of our life changing events.
Today I feel calmer Tomorrow however is an the day.
Take care all x

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@Mickp
14 weeks tomorrow since my life turned upside down.
So proud of you for reaching out.
Saying we need help and asking for it are two completely different things.
I have found counselling helping.
Frirnds/family, no matter how much they care, always have an opinion.
Your counsellor wont.
They just listen.
Empty that bucket of sh*te.
Like you, i abdolutely hate Sundays.
I need to start liking them again.
I always wake up with dread and sadness.
Stay strong you lovely lot. Xxxx

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@Bluecatmum77 Thanks as ever for your reassurance and kindness.
Mick xx

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I think this week I was starting on the edge of madness. I started Monday talking to my counceller saying things felt a little better today, after that it was a downward spiral, I got to Friday and my work mate said are you OK? I said no so I finished work early got my chores done so my weekend was free. I went to my daughters two hours drive away (she is my bubble) I have been for a little walk and been entertained by one grandson the other playing games all day on his computer and my daughter being my daughter, the madness has subsided I hope been a good day, gives me hope, gives me a reason,ā€¦ I hope it lasts.

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@Ron and gang.xx
It is so unpredicatable.
You never know how you are going to feel.
So if you have a good moment, seize it and hold on to it.
Im having a positive day.
Just shows the rollercoaster we are on.
I know have posted loads today, but i just want to send as much support as i can. If i have done anyones heads in, sorry.
Stay strong Xx

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Loving your positive posts

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You are honest and open, transparent. I like that x

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@Ron I too have a ā€œbubbleā€ which I admit is an hours drive away in countryside heaven knows where Iā€™d be without it .Five days in that empty house and two with family just about works .
Take care

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@Bluecatmum77
Your post is so lovely, Iā€™m so happy for you that you feel peace and a level of happiness.

For the past few days Iā€™ve felt a similar kind of peace and Iā€™ve struggled with it as it makes me feel bad. I donā€™t want to feel Iā€™m ā€œgetting overā€ losing my Mum because how is that possible. But I feel the rawness of the shock is less and Iā€™m trying to accept that itā€™s part of grief and nothing to feel guilty about. Our loved ones would hate us to be so unhappy but it still feels like a betrayal to me and makes me feel confused. But I need to stop analysing every little thought. I looked at old photos today and they made me feel love and happiness.

I love that your cat went straight to his jumper xxx

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Ellie,

I have found comfort in this site,since losing both my parents a few years ago,my thoughts are with you,Lucy,xxx

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