@RichardM Thank you. It’s sad but reassuring that I’m not alone in how I feel. Sad that others feel and have felt like this.
He really has gone hadn’t he is 
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Our thoughts are with you on this painful day, Try to be strong.
x x x
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So, reading your email I already love you. I so love your honesty. My husband died thirteen months ago and I am still in such agonizing pain.
I too have been on antidepressants for a long while but it feels like nothing will ever solve this.
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Morning Everyone
It’s the day Tim’s funeral I am absolutely broken how do I say goodbye to my best friend and soul mate my heart is in pieces my tummy knotted and a massive lump in my throat.
How did I go from sitting here on my sofa happily doing nothing with him to 27 days later I lose him on a ventilator after suffering so much.
My phone has been pinging since 5am people sending their love this is hell this is wrong this is agony and I see no way out without him.
Lots of love and hugs to you all,
Julie 
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@Quarterman Julie, My thoughts are with you today.
I said my goodbyes in the Chapel of Rest a few days before. So in my mind the funeral day was for everyone else. But it’s still a massive day but something will kick in and get you through.
Stay strong , at least for today, tomorrow, well , that’s another day xx
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Will be thinking of you today Julie. The funeral is a hard day to cope with, but do Tim proud. Try and look on it as a celebration of his life.
Everyone told me the funeral would help. I felt worse after, and hit a big down. If that happens to you, or doesn’t, it will be normal. This grief thing is very unpredictable. Please do not feel alone in the coming weeks. Vent on here if you need to. We will understand. Virtual hugs winging their way to you. Xx
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@Quarterman like @Mickp I said my goodbyes prior to the actual funeral. I did not equate that wicker basket with Karen. The funeral service itself just passed in a numb blur.
Wishing you strengthen get through the day with the help and support of your family
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@Quarterman My thoughts are with you. My husband’s funeral was on Wednesday. You will get through today. Have something planned for tomorrow. For me, the day after (yesterday) was considerably worse. The reality. Take care. We are here for you
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It will be a hard day with probably hard ones to come sorry to say, but remember we are here for you. Your loved one will be with you always carried with you in your heart.
x x
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Dear Julie
My thoughts are with you.
Sheila xxx
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Hi gang. Xx
Just been catching up with all the messages.
Sorry for not posting until now, but
I got absolutely sh*tfaced weds night on what would have been his birthday.
Spent yesterday with mahoosive hangover.
Ive handed him to his Mum and Dad.
I have a small tin with a few ashes.
@Misty1972 and @Quarterman.
My heart goes out to you.
@mick i think you and i are at the same stage.
All our hearts are going out to each other.xx
The day of his funeral was a blur.
The day after, i cant remember much.
Just remember feeling the lowest i have ever been.
I am on a massive downer again.
His poor Mum and Dad.
They are just in bits.
He was their only child. Adored Son.
They did everything for him and more and he cut them off 11 years ago.
They managed to trace him, but then got another call from the company that located gim to say he had passed away.
We have scattered a few ashes.
Me and his Dad did it.
His poor Mum couldnt face it.
They are taking him home and keeping him.
Which i am glad about.
Being reunited and can start healing.
Its his Mum’s birthday on Sunday.
I want to get absolutely sh*tfaced again, but better not.
I need to behave.
To all the others i havent directly messaged or tagged, thank you for your messages of support.
This thread has gained quite a few now, and it shows we are not in this alone.
All sharing the same pain.
Sending love, strength and light. Xxx
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@Bluecatmum77 Nice to hear from you.
Yes, yesterday was a sh#t of a day trying to pack a few possessions ready for my move,don’t have a date yet but have to pack up all her good clothes for charity as she wanted, so hard remembering when she wore what to where and when.
So consequently polished of best part of a bottle of scotch last night. Tonight fortunately I’m with family in my Support Bubble so don’t have to blot everything out and have much needed company and not that feeling of despair and loneliness.
Sunday I will spend time with her again.
This week I’ve missed her more and more.
Have a peaceful weekend ,
Mick xxx
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Morning gang. Xx
@Mickp good luck with the move.
I slept like baby last night.
His ashes are tucked up inside a toy dog that he bought years ago. His Mum and Dad said I could have it. You press its ear and it humps your leg…typical hubbys humour.
Its wrapped up in a pillow case on the bed.
I feel calm this morning.
His birthday was such a difficult day.
Glad i spent it with his mum and dad though.
They have really taken me under their wings and want to have me in their lives, which i am so touched about.
Im hoping the next 3 months are going to be easier than the last 3.
The shock has faded.
The tears are subsiding.
It still comes out of the blue and floors me, but i can function again.
Wishing you all a peaceful weekend.
Sending love, strength and light. Xx
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Hi babe , I know exactly how you are feeling now just lost my husband Friday and my. Whole inside feels like it’s dying too . I think at times like this we can only take each day as it comes . We will get some up and down days along the way .
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Just reading through posts. I have Mick at home with me but had some ashes separated I put some with his parents also had jewellery made and I had a tattoo with ink filled ashes. We have a holiday home in Bulgaria which I will take some ashes with me I was informed I have to have a letter from funeral director to do this proving they are ashes. The rest we will be scattered together. I know he’s all over but we are all different we do what’s right for us
Love to all
Just to say that I think your ideas of what to do with your husband’s ashes are brilliant. It sounds as though you have covered all the places he loved the most. I wish you all the best for the future.
Hugs, AnnR x
Thank you Ann you take care x
You too. It’s a hard road, but we’ll get there. You know, I envy you your freedom to do all those things. My lovely husband just wanted to be buried with his Gran, whom we both loved so I have honoured his wish, although there is a lot more I would like to have done. I have told our daughters that I want to be with him when my time comes, then we can be with her together.
Xx
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@Julie16 Sorry for your loss. We are here for you
My husband passed 6 weeks ago next Tuesday. Every day is a challenge but just take it one day at a time
We are all here for you
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Dear Alston56, I read your post on your wife — you know, I have been going thru the same exact things you describe. My home is still pretty much the way it did the night my lovely wife died. I may have moved a few things about but on the whole if she were back here, she would still remember it the way it looked on her last day. I do the same things, chores you describe, and like you, I really miss my wife scurrying about the house straightening it up, asking me is was hungry or not, sitting on the floor folding clothes, getting ready for grand children’s birthdays and storing up gifts for that time, going to the sore together, etc. ( I’m sure you understand). Forgive me for intruding, I have been out shoveling snow (We got hit with a bunch snow here). I go to our basement where I do the laundry, I see her personal things neatly stored on the shelves, and as I pass by them, a sudden tear comes out of my eye, as I remember her, her laugh, her singing, her music and so forth. I felt I needed to talk for a bit about her. (Seems the family has forgotten about her these days). I feel like I’m just maintaining the placer till I’m gone. Yes, it’s still the same home but without her in it with me, it’s just an empty shell. I just wish she was still here. I guess I’ll never understand this experience we call life. Thank you for your time and I do hope you will be safe and well. Like the others say We’re all in same boat. Hang in there!
Herb
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