I lost my husband in December and found it heartbreaking looking at his clothes . I decided to keep everything that he loved to wear and took everything else to the clothes bank. I have kept one pair of shoes as well-again his favourite ones . I think we all deal with things differently and what feels right for us at the time 
.
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I can’t move anything, her shoes are still in the porch where she last put them, her coats are on the hook where she last put them, I will need help from my children to do something, but not yet, not yet.
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same Ron. My Renés trainers and shoes are under the chair in the kitchen. his coats on the hooks in the hall… his drill in the porch. another fleece over his computer chair… toothbrush hairbrush in the bathroom. a load of beer in the fridge… I can’t imagine being able to move any of it.
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@Ron only when you are ready
For me, seeing his things where he left them broke my heart more and more, it twisted the knife. On the revers, I now have 44 new photos up of happy times. My aunt said she couldn’t have coped with that. It’s different for everyone
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I get comfort from looking at photos but couldn’t look at his handwriting. It’s so strange how we all deal with our emotions differently. It’s what feels right for at the time x
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@KimG. Exactly. There is no right or wrong. No good or bad way to deal with it. We just have to do what feels right and even that will feel wrong. No matter how we slice it, sorting out possessions will break our heart even more than its already broken
The positive is, we know there are people here who understand, don’t judge and genuinely care x
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@Misty1972 The table by her chair I can’t touch yet .
So I’ve left it and added her picture and keep flowers for her
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Not touched anything of Ian’s. All his clothes in same place and shoes in shoe basket, except when our grandson visits. He only targets his grandas shoes and drags them all over the bungalow. When he has gone I find myself tripping over where he has left them and my heart breaks all over again. Our grandson was only starting to try and walk before Ian died and I can hear his words that he could not wait to see ‘our little man’ running up and down the passage. Our first grandchild and Ian was so proud of him. Just heartbreaking. Not sure when or how will complete the task.
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I have Danny’s ashes in the lounge in front of the Tv . They are in a cube so it doesn’t look like an urn and matches with the rest of the furniture and I have also have had a ring made with his ashes in which I take great comfort from .
I still talk to him and say Ni Ni everything evening 
. I’m just hoping the pain will get easier x
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@Mickp Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady. It’s so hard isn’t it. If there was a pill to stop the grief, would you take it?
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Ahh definitely. But my husband was so enjoying life that I need to carry on for the both of us and look after the garden etc. When he was diagnosed he said but I’m still enjoying the garden etc etc , so I need to carry on for him .
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@Misty1972 Good question? I think it’s a process we all have to endure and making it disappear with a pill although it sounds attractive wouldn’t be right. All of us here are on the worst journey we’ve ever been on and we’ll all reach a point at which we cope again with daily life .We’ll never forget them but somehow learn to live with it.
So painful as it is we have to endure the many stages of grief to become stronger to survive.
Love your photo wall . I planning one for my flat when I move .
Mick x
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@Mickp beautifully put. I feel the same. Just suddenly occured to me, would I. In a way, my grief keeps him here with me but yes, we have to endure to come out the other side
Ah thank you. Can’t wait to see your photo wall when it’s done
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Hi to all of you who have lost someone,
I lost my beautiful partner Christine 2 weeks ago. I’m coping ok for now but I’m feeling such a mixed bag of emotions. Sometimes I can’t imagine moving on without her, sometimes I feel ok which weird me out, sometimes I cant stop crying, sometimes I just want to block the world out but mainly I find it so upsetting, painful and odd that she is no longer here.
Connecting with others who understand is important.
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@EllaRobb pleased you made it here.
I’m reading your post and seeing myself weeks ago.
Read through as many posts as you can and like me you find your not alone and help and support is here.
Mick
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@EllaRobb Sorry for your loss. 6 weeks tomorrow for me since I lost my husband. Still feel exactly as you describe.
Someone described it to me like this…
As for grief, you’ll find it comes in waves. When the ship is first wrecked, you’re drowning, with wreckage all around you. Everything floating around you reminds you of the beauty and the magnificence of the ship that was, and is no more. And all you can do is float. You find some piece of the wreckage and you hang on for a while. Maybe it’s some physical thing. Maybe it’s a happy memory or a photograph. Maybe it’s a person who is also floating. For a while, all you can do is float. Stay alive.
In the beginning, the waves are 100 feet tall and crash over you without mercy. They come 10 seconds apart and don’t even give you time to catch your breath. All you can do is hang on and float. After a while, maybe weeks, maybe months, you’ll find the waves are still 100 feet tall, but they come further apart. When they come, they still crash all over you and wipe you out. But in between, you can breathe, you can function. You never know what’s going to trigger the grief. It might be a song, a picture, a street intersection, the smell of a cup of coffee. It can be just about anything…and the wave comes crashing. But in between waves, there is life.
Somewhere down the line, and it’s different for everybody, you find that the waves are only 80 feet tall. Or 50 feet tall. And while they still come, they come further apart. You can see them coming. An anniversary, a birthday, or Christmas, or landing at O’Hare. You can see it coming, for the most part, and prepare yourself. And when it washes over you, you know that somehow you will, again, come out the other side. Soaking wet, sputtering, still hanging on to some tiny piece of the wreckage, but you’ll come out.
Take it from an old guy. The waves never stop coming, and somehow you don’t really want them to. But you learn that you’ll survive them. And other waves will come. And you’ll survive them too. If you’re lucky, you’ll have lots of scars from lots of loves. And lots of shipwrecks.
Author unknown
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@Misty1972 wow.
That kind of sums up my last 3 months.
Your photo wall is stunning.
A wall of love and life. Xx
@Mickp the photo is beautiful.
To all in the gang, keep reading and sharing.
Someones strong moment will help anothers weakest.
Sending love and light. Xx
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This is a passage I found and posted too. Clearly useful to us.
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Wow how true xx
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Beautiful photos x
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