I know exactly how you feel. My husband never had his postponed 50th birthday. I can’t believe that I have gone from being some secure and happy and loved to this. Sending hugs
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@RichardM Thanks for the heads up. I did look at the website forum, but will try again and heed your instructions, thanks.
Mx
Our song
First dance at our Wedding
Missing her tonight
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Lovely song Mick 
I’m also feeling it tonight. I miss René in all different ways throughout my minutes and nothing brings him back.
I keep having nightmares about my teeth falling out. I googled it and apparently its a common grief dream in case any of you get that too…
Thinking of you all on yet another Saturday night. Goodnight.
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Lovely song @Mickp.
At everyone I wish we could all bring our loved ones back. It’s a lonely, boring, miserable and scary life without them. So hard to believe that 6 months ago me and my man were larking about and having fun like a couple of recycled teenagers. We used to laugh so much, there is no fun now!
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Wong
Life is pointless without our other half.
Every day is a struggle.
Living only with memories now is painful.
Existing…that’s all we are doing.
Life can be so cruel.
One minute life was good but now its complete shite.
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I slept last night (cried myself to sleep) but didn’t have nightmares or wake up at all which is unusual for me lately. I woke up in quite a good mood thinking about René and science.
He loved science and all it really is, is humans share their collected observations on all sorts of things that may seem insignificant to some or even them but then added up it gives everyone a much better set of information. That information can help us all then in various ways. I was thinking it’s a bit like us in this group too.
I had my 1st covid jab on Friday. A result of that science. I admire vaccination in general as one of the amazing human achievements overall, time will tell if the covid ones are good of course and science isn’t perfect but I think it’s worth the gamble.
It went smoothly, when in there waiting on the side effect seats afterwards, The guy next to me started talking to me.
The general mood in the sports club vaccination centre was one of celebration and this man was very happy that he’d now be able to go on holiday. I felt further than 2m away from him and the rest of them.
Staring at the big clock waiting for the ticks I was thinking of you all and how many thousands like us have/will sit in the side-effect seats with different thoughts than the rest of them. Especially those of you who lost your person to covid.
I guess a lot of us now‐lonely people look at that clock thinking that. It made me still feel part of humans and a bit comforted in a strange way as I watched the mouth move of the man from the other part of the human race, that I used to belong to excitedly jabbering about his holiday.
Sunday is not what it was for all of us I know, hoping today is better than we all expect in some way for all of us.
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Went to bed missing John
Barely slept
Woke up missing John
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@FleurDeLis
Good morning.
It’s well documented I Hate Sunday’s the day my Venetia died from Covid.
I have had both vaccinations now and although I should have been elated I wasn’t , we should have been there together… it came too late for us.
Why am I still here in this living hell ?
While I can be very critical of the way this country handled the overall Covid crisis the vaccination programme runs like clockwork.
My family in Austrailia and New Zealand still haven’t all received their jabs yet .
As far as a holiday goes all I want is to be able to jet off to OZ & NZ and have some closure with all of them. They support me from 12,000 miles away more than anyone here in U.K.
I just need to get there,it’s all that keeps me going,grinding through each dark and lonely day ,
There is a glimmer that long haul might start up again October.
Once out there I’d be happy never to return just send back my ashes to be with my “Vee” one day is all I’d ask.
In any case what’s a holiday for us ?
Just a different place to be lonely and feel the odd one out unless of course you can spend it with family that would be OK .
Well deep breath @Bluecatmum77 S.B.S.again and wet one too, off to see my girl as usual and tell her about the trip I took for her Birthday.
Hope you all Survive Sunday
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Today for me is going to be one of the hard ones, it’s my grandsons christening, it would have been a thing to look forward to, family, my wife by my side, but alas no not today the family are seeing each other in shifts and no Beverley on my arm, not sure how I am going to get through it, a guess the mask will have to be well in place today, after that it is straight to the
nursing home to see my 93 year old dad, god I hope I don’t have to endure this existence for that long and Tuesday is the six months mark since I lost my beautiful girl Beverley the better half of me.
Wish me luck, I think I need it my emotions today are going to be off the chart, at least I can take the mask off at the end of the day, god I think it will be back to sore eyes again.
Ron x x
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Oh Ron, sending strength to get though the day to you. All of those times that would have been so happy are now flipped on their head. My thoughts will be with you today. Sending hugs
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Yes Mick I always think of you and Steph particularly on a Sunday x
Oh god Ron what a few days coming up… thinking of you and hoping you get through today as well as you can, it’s so sad when it would have been such a happy occasion with Beverley. Sorry you are going through this and I hope that it is somehow better today than you are expecting. Take care xx
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Thinking of you today @Ron, and hope you get through okay. I had decided that I could hide my emotions behind a mask, but have since been told that my eyes show how I am feeling. I would imagine that family will realise that it will be an emotional day for you Ron, and hopefully will be understanding. Sending you virtual hugs and best wishes.
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Omg I am lying on the settee, in my nightwear, and haven’t moved for 30 minutes or so. I looked out the window and my neighbour is hanging over the fence looking in at me with a worried look on her face. As I turned round she ducked back into her garden. Bless her she probably was wondering if I am dead too. She has been very concerned about me. They are a lovely family. The washing up is piled up as I really couldn’t be bothered to do it yesterday. I think I had better tackle that now. It has given me some amusement this morning though seeing her quickly retreat obviously hoping I wouldn’t notice her. My son in law said just last weekend that wouldn’t I like higher fences for privacy. I told him no as I have nice neighbours, I like the children on the other side chatting to me, and if anything happens to me in the garden at least there is a chance that someone may spot me.
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Hi gang,
@Mickp yes, SBS…
Atm, its dry in Greater Manchester.
Put some washing on the line, done last nights pots.
Might attempt a couple of hours in the garden, unless is p*sses down…
I was an absolute mess Friday.
Battered the gin, cried and cried and watched you tube music videos until 3am.
My inlaws rang me. I cried down the phone to both of them.
Our relationship is going from strength to strength, so much so I am now calling them Mum and Dad. Xx
Who would ever have thought that?
My next door neighbour came round. He sat with me for hours. He has been a rock.
@Wong, dont beat yourself up about jobs that need doing. You will do them when you are ready.
My kitchen was a mess friday.
Washing piling up again. So what?
Your body is saying time out, I need to just lie here and rest. Xx
@Ron. Thinking of you.xx
I think of you all. There are so many friends on here, that i would spend all day invidually tagging.
Im back to numb.
So thats me in a nutshell.
Numb or absolute meltdown.
I am in limboland until after the inquest and the finances are sorted.
I need to accept that.
I cant begin to grieve properly and let the natural course of emotions take their course because my life is on hold.
So i have to put my big girl pants on, dust myself down and wait for the next kicking.
Sending you all love and massive hugs.
Xxxxx
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@RonHope your day isn’t too demanding
Mick
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Sending strength and my thoughts are with you today x
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Just got back from church, I am shaking with emotion. Never felt as lonely in my life. All the daughter inlwaws close family was there, my daughter could not make it as she lives two hours away I sat on my own until the sons father inlaw sat with me, they are such a lovely family. Now I have to put a brave face on again to see my dad. The weight of the world is put on all our shoulders, it does make you wonder how we carry on, but we do hoping for a little peace in our lives. Thankyou all you was with me in spirit.
Ron x x
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Ahh @Ron I don’t know what to say but I really feel for you. I hope the visit with your dad goes OK and that you can find something to eat drink watch or something as a treat for yourself for surviving today once you make it home again. Take care xx
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