@Bristles and everyone I got annoyed with the moderation of this site myself many times. I made a few threads about it, most recently last week but they are always locked.
I know one lady who i used to PM with a lot who did quit the site due to deletion of her posts.
Last week I was again going to quit when I got very upset as a moderator had been reading mine and others personal messages which contained very personal information. I discovered this as they edited my personal message (out of habit I think as they probably forgot they were reading a PM and gave the game away) to another friend on this site.
it wasnāt even anything terribleā¦ Iād only been telling about annoying an ice cream man (using a word beginning with p). I found it ludicrous it had been edited when I know for a fact the other person didnāt complain.
Aife looked into it and said it was a software problem. I havenāt had the energy to complain about it via email officially but I donāt agree as how come a computer problem always affected just one moderator causing them to repeatedly read personal info of not just me but others who I was not messaging who spoke up prior to my incident and were locked too??!
There are times I have felt completely alone in that I cannot find a single positive thing to say and seeing others as depressed as me keeps me talking. I have to pretend so much out there on the real world, I donāt want to have to here too.
I hope you all stay as if we all leave presumably this will be a site full of sunshine that I donāt think is what is neededā¦ I look out for all your posts as you make me feel less alone.
p.s. Iāve never been offended by any of your posts or reported any and I would be surprised if anyone in our position wouldā¦
Iām hearing youāre feeling frustrated about the moderation of some posts in this thread and others too which is understandable to hear. Our aim with moderation is to make sure the community is a safe and supportive place, and you can read more about our community guidelines here - https://community.sueryder.org/pub/community-guidelines
If youāre ever unsure why something has been moderated, Iām always an email away anytime youād like to reach out. You can reach me at online.community@sueryder.org
I canāt understand what has happened, this site has kept me alive for the last six months, we have shared our inner thoughts the ones behind the mask we all carry day to day, I am open to everyoneās opinion and I hope you are open to mine, if not I would prefare a private message that I could have been out of order, please do not leave as we need all posts it helps you and it helps us indeviduals. Back in the day we had Mary Whitehouse and she stood up for her beliefs but she was a minority I always thought if you do not like something, turn it off. There is different levels of pain we share on this site from massive to unexplainable.
Ron x x
I feel the same as you. I think there needs to be an open discussion with @Aife about exactly why she moderates posts in the way she does.
However, as @FleurDeLis said, itās difficult to have an open discussion when threads about moderation are closed without explanation. Also, moderation can actively hurt people who are already hurting more than most people can imagine. At times it has hurt me, when all Iāve been doing is trying to help.
Wong
I have our rings and a room full of things ready for the day it is heart breaking and I am struggling to even get out of bed. Like bluecatmum77 I have periods of numbness I too cope better in this state.
Bluecatmum77 I am so sad you got edited I donāt understand why I will PM you.
Virtual friends you are always my thoughts life is cruel unfair and it hurts,
@Quarterman
Hi Julie,
That must be heartbreaking .
Itās bad enough having rings that have been worn.
Iām thinking of having our two wedding rings and Venetiaās engagement ring linked together .
Cut the engagement ring pop on the wedding rings and solder back together, entwined forever.
I know some do melt downs and repurposing rings but I just want them together but inseparable.
I have her eternity ring around my neck and it will stay with me always .
Iām sorry our family here has been spit up by recent events !
Weāve shared so much and still have much to share itās a shame .
I donāt think you and I live a million miles apart if you or anyone else ever fancied a meet up and a coffee ( or something stronger ) one day then just PM me .
If any one reading this has moved to another platform i.e. Whatās App
please PM me so I can keep in touch.
Love
Mick xx
I saw a group met up in London which seemed very successful. I understand we need to be cautious but I would love to meet up with some of you virtual friends.
I think Iām ok to say I live in Oxfordshire and can drive so if anyone would like meet we could arrange this.
Love the idea for your wedding rings I have Timās on a chain round my neck and I wear mine. Life is cruel isnāt it and covid has destroyed my life and here we all are trying to piece together a new life none of us wanted.
Im happy to connect via WhatsApp
Agree we should keep safe. Usual things. Tell people. Meet in public places. Use WhatsApp location services, meet in groups, etc.
Iāll happily set up a WhatsApp group if anyone wants to PM me your numbers xx
@Quarterman
Julie, Yes I totally understand caution and a group meet would be great.
Itās well documented here Iām moving house and that looks like it will happen in the next couple of weeks .
As soon as Iām in Iāll contact you again.
I too will be in Oxfordshire, Chipping Norton area.
In the book Iām reading it talks about forming friendships with others in the same situation. Had it not been for Covid Iām sure many of us would be in face to face groups by now.
@Misty1972 I was going to pm you but it looked like I was starting a thread as it had a topic heading, so I deleted it as I did not want the whole world reading what I put (it was nothing bad). I have never PMād anyone on here before so wasnāt sure if I was doing it wrong.
When sending a PM it does have the option to add a title, I agree it does look very much like a New Topic post.
If you click on Mistyās name and icon then click on PM, you should be fine. If your number appears on the main forum, I will call you to tell you that you might have done it wrong
Thanks @RichardM. I looked again, but it now seems to link me to the anyone out there thread. I work with technology every day, but absolutely hate it, and if I am honest donāt really trust it. Funnily enough as technology was coming in when I was younger I was the first to embrace it.
Bit over tired and overwrought today, so think I will just turn in now. High spot of the day I went to my partnerās grave this evening and my neighbours had put flowers on it, with a lovely message. So nice of them, and very touching that someone other than me had visited.
Dear @Wong, I feel so glad that your neighbour had made such a good gesture. Itās so nice for other people to remember our loved ones and show it. ^^
hello everyone, waiting in for my medication to be delivered hopefully as found a chemist nearby will do that instead of me having to leave the house (horror!).
Itās such a relief Merrin when you have a less crap day on your way up after a down isnāt it, fingers crossed it continues as you need a break. A mid-country meet-up sounds a good idea and something iād hope iād join (if I can leave my hermitage).
