Hello Eileen I am sorry that you have been so sad today it upset me just reading how upset you have been,it’s so soul destroying ,your so right about the telly it all rubbish nothing you could sit down and watch that would take your mind off things .I have been out tonight just to a lunch with the elderly tea coffee games etc ,it gets them all out and they enjoy it they can all get together and have a good matter, I have to laught at my self sometimes as I say I am off to do the lunch club for the elderly ,and half off them are younger than me have you no one in your flats that’s that you could go and have cuppa with ,it awfully how the times have changed ,we all helped one and others years ago ,but now nobody seems to have time for anyone .how eileen can anyone expect you to get over someone that has been your life for all them years ,i think that when we lose our loved one half off us go with them , hope you feel bit better today my love for now Teresa
Hi, reading your conversation gives me much comfort. My husband passed in September after about seven years of dementia. I thought that I would be ok as I have grieved for him all the time he had dementia but I was wrong.
How can you get over someone who is all the world to you.
It helps knowing I am not alone with these strong feelings of grief.
I sometimes hear someone saying my name in the house. But no one is there. I try to enjoy what dreams I have of Brian. And I also talk to him sometimes even though I realise he isn’t able to reply. I think our loved ones are there in spirit watching over us.
Hope this is normal
Thank you,
xx Val
Hi Val I am so sorry for your loss I don’t think that we ever get over it we must somehow learn to live with it .I chat away to my Dennis every day he never answers, it’s so nice that you can dream off yourBrian as my Dennis has been gone eighteen month and I have never dreamed off him ,mind you I still have trouble sleeping ,I do think that Brian is there watching over you ,I hope you have good friend and family helping you, take care my love for now Teresa
Evening Sheila hope you have had a reasnable day ,I seem to have fallen In to a black hole today nothing I do or say to my self helps i hope that I have climbed out off it by tomorrow as it awfully feeling like this just when you think it can’t get any worse ,but it does. I am so sorry for your friend how heatbreaking that is going to be .(Still got no heating ).it is lovely at castle Howard you will like it have you been before .I wish that i could dream off my Dennis but I never do ,i have also cleaned every where today including my conservatory I have cleaned all the out side down ,I have also put lots off my garden ornaments in the green house I don’t like leaving s some off them out all winter as I have had some off them years ,some given to me by my friends who are no longer here will say good night Sheila take care my love for now Teresa
Evening Eileen ,I do feel a little better thank you your life as been so like ours me my Dennis went every where together we would not dream off going on holiday with anyone ,and i will always regret not learning to drive ,and i atill dont know my left from my right ,I was going to try learn when I was in my thirty but Dennis said he would not have a minute peace if I did as I would be going left instead off right ,he did worrie about me bless him , we toured every bit off Scotland he loved it there but he was not very fond off flying because off his heart ,soit was ferries to Jersey the isle man etc but we had lovely times ,we would be in Glen co and there would not be any one else there just me and him it was magical ,last few years it was Whitby in a cottage where we could walk down to the sea ,on the day Dennis was not well enough he would just sit quiet happy doing his cross word looking out to sea and I would trot off look round the shops .I Love him with a passion as you do your Peter and I always will ,we never went to bed without having a laugh about something or other .I went to my brothers today for lunch I thought that I was going to have a nice Sunday dinner ,not so ,got hot chicken and peppers etc wrapped in thin bread ,it was awfully and I did not like saying any thing so I just sat there pretending to eat it I Wes so glad when they got company ,and they were stood chatting ,got my chance to bin it and cover it up .Ha ha not very adventures.take care my love for now Teresa
Hi Dionne
Sorry for you loss, my wife passed away 2 weeks ago, and apart from my self her best friend was her sister. They talked every day on 5he phone, and due to the fact that they were also caring for their elderly mum, would see each other every other weekend.
My pain is 25 years, her sister is 53 years, and there’s nothing I c@n do to ease her pain. Yes I will call her and support her where and when I can, will sort her out with money, but nothing can bring back that bond.
We both feel scared of being alone in the future, but we know that Caroline would want us to be strong and make th3 most of life throws at us. I hope you can again get happiness, never forget, use all your friends and family, and try to live for her as well as yourself.
Good luck, and hopefully find some way of remembering all the good things you enjoyed together.
Regards
Hello just want you to know that I will be thinking about you and your friend tomorrow take care x Teresa
9 years since my wife passed away. I have kept busy and have built a new life, decorated most of the house to give a new lease of life finally gave my wife’s clothes away earlier this year. I have 2 wonderful sons, excellent friends BUT i don’t think anyone of them understand how much i miss her every moment of every day. Life changes and we have to change with it. How do you even begin to forget/dispose/ignore 30 sensational years in the space of just a few. Just keep going I suppose
It’s been only 10 and a half months since my husband passed and it is getting worse not better I cannot imagin what next year will be like. How anyone can survive this pain for 9 years, 18 years (like my father did). At first I thought I would be ok. Keep myself busy, gardening, decorating, meeting up with people I have not seen for years, change my job, meet new people, build a new life. But now I think what’s the point. I can never have my past over again and that is really what I want. To meet Pete again, have the children, watch them grow. Live together again through the good times and the bad Spend 33 years with someone. Grow from younge to old together. I can never have that again. So what is the point. I just want him back so I can carry on with the life I had and we can get even older together and share the memories we had together not just me, on my own remembering.
Dear Brownie, it is six months since my husband died and I can relate to every word of your posting. We had been married for 66 years. Yes, my husband was 87 but I am tired of people telling me that he’d had a ‘good innings’ as if it didn’t matter that I lost someone I dearly loved. I have tried keeping busy but have limited energy. Also, I lived in sheltered accommodation where you can go days and hardly see a soul, which doesn’t help with this dreadful loneliness I feel. Like you, life as it is now seems to have no point and, although I would not do self-harm, I would be happy if my dodgy heart would just give up so that I could be with my husband again. I have been waiting for several weeks to hear from Cruse but have given up on them. In any case, they cannot give me what I want and that is my husband back again. Best wishes, Eileen
Good morning Sheila ,I hope you have been managing to get a little sleep ,that was a long service but they are at our church ,why is life so cruel ,I have not managed to motivate my self at all today if my Dennis is looking down he will be so so sad as he only ever wanted me to be happy .I just wish that this awfully numb feeling would ease I don’t seem to be able to feel anything .when your Peter went was you able to play the music that he and you loved straight away ,as I can’t I want to but I feel afraid to ,I know that does not make any sense. I am going to meet my daughter in London next Sunday as she is flying in for a meeting ,then I am going back with here for a couple weeks ,I might feel better when I see her two little dogs as I love them and I will get plenty off walks ,I just wish that they lived closer and I could see them weekly but I can’t complain as there here often and my son rings me every nigh with out fail no matter where I am but it’s still not like seeing them ,but he is coming to stay with me again in the summer for couple months so I will look forward to that .I have been sat here with my pillow my daughter had made for me with my Dennis photo on and I have been chatting to him most off the night God arnt I sad .Where did you meet your Peter all them years ago .take care my love for now Teresa
Hi Sheila hope your feeling bit better ,I have wondered how your friend is but can’t really imaging. Got my heating done at last ,but then my telly went ,the arm fell off my new glasses ha not my month .your life so mirrors my own ,even the night my daughter was born The nurses let Dennis stay with me (be uproar these days ).yes I do believe that you grow into each other ,if someone asked my Dennis what I would say or do in certain situations he would know what I would say and visa versa .I might go back to computer lessons if ever I get my head back as my memory boxes are getting very full lot neater your way ,got first teeth first hair cut my grandchildren loved going to the theatre from very early age got all ticket programs etc etc .Well Sheila it’s been very cold here today so not been far ,went to the theatre last night as my friend wanted to soon ucalali band and it was so rubbish that we left, with few more half way through .I have felt little better today I just wish that it would last ,my brother is here with me now he is going to take me shopping ,I hate shopping as I want to buy all the stuff my Dennis liked and I have done a few times only to throw it away days later .take care Sheila love for now Teresa
Hi Sheila I hope you have been keeping well and getting some sleep ,I have not been able to chat as my daughter’s internet was not set up , we all got back at seven o’clock this morning after a very long trip Mary did not want the dogs to go in the holding bay on the overnight ferry, so we drove almost six hours to Dunkirk and got the hour half ferry to Dover (the dogs can stay in the car ) then we had long trip back home with plenty off stops but i would not like to do it again ,I am so glad to be home I hate leaving my Dennis here on his own ,and I have not felt well whilst there ,I think that this almost permanent heart ack gets you down ,and like you i know how luck me my Dennis were to have found each other and to have had such happy life ,but it is off no costlation ,I do have a daily chat with God sometimes to just ask him why .I know you were having a new grandchild as he or she arrived yet, my Dennis could not wait to be a great grandad but my gradaughter used to say grandad I have not found anyone that floats my boat ha ha ,well Sheila take care my love for now Teresa
Hello Sheila I meant to ask how your friend is doing I often think about her love Teresa
Hello Sheila sorry to hear about your eyes ,I am so glad to be home ,my daughter and family came with me they went last night down to there own house where that have friend ,but once again they were very upset as thay wanted me to go with them and i just want to stay here there coming back tomorrow I feel for your friend my love for now take care Teresa
Hello Sheila I am sat here just wondering how many more years we have to endure this empty soul destroying feeling ,I wake up every day hoping to feel a light has been switched back on but no i am still in this fog .I had a long email from a friend yesterday telling me how upset my Dennis would be if he could see me now and I owe it to him to be happy ,etc etc ,as if i don’t know all that ,if only it was that easy . I do feel for your friend ,and for every one on here in our position . I do hope Sheila that your eyes are getting a lot better ,I had hospital appointment yesterday it was awfully as my Dennis would have been with me holding my hand ,he made me feel safe and secure and I could face any thing if he was with me .sorry for being so glum ,my Daughter and son in law are on there way back to me there staying over night then driving to Dover in the morning on there way back to Germany ,they will spend most off the evening trying to persuade me to go back with them but I am not .my son lives in Calgary in Canada and he ring me every day where ever I am he is coming again in the summer, but he want me to go back with him ,so I will have to deal with that when the time comes ,my love to you take care Teresa x
L
Hello Sheila I hope that your in bed fast asleep ,once again I have had to get up as my mi d won’t let me sleep .I have no intention off going to live with either off my children and they both know that but it dissent stop them trying ,my John wants me to go back with him in the summer for three month and I really don’t want to go at all I just want to stay here , Mary is in Germany for three years ,and one year has already gone ,when she in her own home in spennmore near County Duram ,it’s only hour away by train so I can come go when I feel like it and I don’t feel trapped ,but can’t jump on planes after a few days when in Germany or Canada .me and my Dennis like you and Peter we were quiet happy and content just to be together ,I still can’t bear to get rid off his last few news papers that he did his cross word in ,silly I know as he won’t be coming back to finish it .I have to go to the dentist and I have always had a great fear off them ,not that I am mardy as I am not ,but it goes back to the school dentist ,my granddaughter is coming back for the week tomorrow with her young man so she is coming with me .I went to a pantomime today with my long standing friend it was sleeping Butie,it got on my nerves a bit as it went on for to long and I get all fidgety after a while well Sheila will try again to see if I can sleep ,hope you go on okay with your teeth and your eyes ,and hope you manage to have a reasnable week my love for now Teresa
Hi Sheila hope you have had good day are you having permanent teeth fitted if you are can you tell me a bit about it as i have been thinking about it my self thank you take care Teresa
Hi Sheila thanks won’t be having them will stick with my part denture .glad you had a good night sleep hope all your dreams were lovely ones ,I have not dreamed off my Dennis once since he died .I am just the same I have given all myjewellery to my daughter ,granddaughter,all my dresses coats given to charity shop still more to go ,I still like you go up town etc looking descent,but only because that what I have always done ,I now don’t really recognise my own face suppose due to weight loss ,still not good at eating ,just back from having a meal out with my granddaughter and her young man Dean it was nice .very cold here today take care love for now Teresa
Hello, Sheila. Lovely to see you back on here again. I am lucky with my eyes (touch wood) as although I am 86, I only need glasses for distance, such as watching TV or driving, which I no longer do. It was also good to see that you are going back to pampering yourself. I am keeping my appearance up as I know that Bill would want that. I have always made an effort to look smart as it does help with boosting confidence. At the moment I am going through a period of deep depression, partly due to the awful weather we have recently had. I hope that with the longer days and sunshine we will all feel a little better and more able to cope with this dreadful place we are in. Warm regards and take care. Eileen xx