I totally understand. My fiance and I were each others world’s. We did everything together. He was my best friend. Since losing him I’ve realised how isolated we were. My friend’s, like you posted, have husbands, children, moved away. It’s incredibly lonely. I hope you are ok x
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@Lonely I feel so sad for you. That is a long time to not see anyone. I feel so lonely but less than a week since I seen my daughter and she has text. Have also seen some work colleagues the other day. So really I should be grateful. Thank goodness for this forum it helps keep us sane. Sending hugs.
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What a disgusting thing to say to you
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Hi loneley .This generation is so.self absorbed.I lost my oh 7 weeks tomorrow He fought to live with lung cancer for 15 month and in that time 2 of his 3 adult kids didnt bother odd few phone calls saying how you doing but strange 3 weeks before he died they made this big effort which he saw through .He had cut them out of his will.cos he was so hurt and angry .So they are not very happy now They feel they were entitled even tho they.did nothing to help poor lad He was a good dad to them .Its time to think of ourselves and go skiing .if you know what i mean love hope 5 xxx
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That is so horrible
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Sad to read this…i wo ser if things would be better for me if we’d had children but seems not…probably worse.
I would tell them how you feel!!!
Sending hugs for better days for you 
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That is so awful…sending 
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How horrible. Are you sure that you actually want to give them any inheritance? I do not have any children but my husband (I am his second wife) had six children. One daughter did not contact me at all and did not turn up for his funeral. The youngest son had no contact at all with us because of the bad influence of his mother. One daughter did not contact me because she still owes me money and of course, did not turn up for his funeral either. The other children came to his funeral or at least contacted me via Facebook. I do not have any family but there is the house to think about etc, I know exactly who is getting what and who get nothing at all. I also will plan my own funeral although I doubt that there will be anyone left to come. I want to be (if possible) in my Mum’s grave with my husband’s urn. My Mum came in March 2000 to stay with us but died of a stroke in October 2000 and is buried in our local graveyard. Sending love and hugs.
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I do not think that they actually want to know how their mother feels. They are cold-hearted and just waiting to get their greedy hands on their inheritance and sell it immediately after their mother died. I must know it I saw this happen before. They do not care about their mother and her grief otherwise they already would support her and help her with their father’s illness. Some people are not worth talking to - even when they are close family. Sending love and hugs.
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Aw … @Lonely that’s so sad ! Why do our kids behave so badly towards us ? I have no answer to that ? My kids were fine in fact brilliant when their dad passed ! Since the funeral they have back sliden and have more or less ignored their poor bereaved mum 
i have had to get help from outsiders. My 2nd daughter has come around quite a bit but i dunno why the other two kids are being so difficult ? They all have their own agendas dont they ? Its sad our kids cant behave better though ;( xxx
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Wow that is so true. I would think being with the kids and grandkids would help but I get even more anxiety. I’m thinking of asking the doctor for something
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Yes its not easy is it … just back off from them a bit and try concentrate on yourself and your own well being - keep being kind to yourself - its us who have suffered the most you know ! We’re the ones who lost our loving partners xxx
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Oh loneley thats awful my partner was diagnosed in november 2021 it was already stage 4 incurable then in both lungs chemo slowed it down for a bit but he.was having chemo every 3 weeks so was suffering all that time his immune system was shot in all that time me and his youngest son took care of him .in january he was in hospital for phenomena fluid on his lungs and blood clots i had no transport to the hospital.had to get taxis no one offered me a lift .he never realy rrcovered died in April .And its was my pleasure to look after him he would have done the same for me .But how he was treat broke my heart has much has the cancer did .He helped all 3 of them got them out of debt many times but they never did anything for him until the last couple of weeks . In all that 15 month he was ill one son didnt come once to see him. He asked his daughter to do him a meal she didnt said she totally forgot really 
.The list goes on .They obviously have no concience sorry for going on but it still makes my blood boil .You take care now loneley .love and hugs .Hope xxx
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Exactly do that ! Get as much spent as possible to make your life easier xxxx
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@Rammie
You will only know if you are truly ready when you try. I personally don’t like having too much time on my hands for my thoughts to get the better of me, I schedule grief into my day as that’s the only way I can get on with other things. Every evening I journal all my thoughts and feelings, reflect, allow my emotions their voice, I then close the book and watch some TV or read before bed, this works for me.
I have no family left and no children so am totally alone but do have a few good friends and great neighbours but at the end of the day I think we are all alone because the grief and loss is ours, nobody else’s. I have also found changing my old routine (the one that included Jim) around so it’s becoming my routine. I eat at different times, I have changed the meals I cook and I also watch different programmes on TV. I have bought new bedding, things that become mine and not ‘ours’. For me I am aiming for the point of letting go and acceptance because I can’t hold on to the past because it no longer exists and it doesn’t help. I have my memories and memories are treasures the heart cannot forget because they are part of me. Love resides and exists in the heart so nothing can take that away but in order to not feel crap everyday for however long I have left, I have to take steps to live the life I was given because I am still here and nothing is going to change that unless I ended it which I have no intention or desire to do. I value life, yes I valued it more with Jim in it but all that has happened was out of my control.
Try to do something nice for you, even if it’s a nice hot bath, you deserve it and never forget that. Love is never about pain
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@Sarlyn that is all very good advice. I have changed a few things but I feel like I am trying to delete him from my life at the moment. I was bought a Wellness Journal by my friend. I set an alarm for 7:30 every night and turn the tv off and have quiet and then write down everything. What I have done, how I am feeling etc. It does help and I look forward to doing it. I now watch different things, but still follow the series we used to watch. And I watch Emmerdale on the night not the next evening like we used to as I would read and he would put his programmes on. I go out walking at the moment. So I will have to fit a mile walk into my new evening routine when I go back to work. I am going to get a season ticket for Derby and go and watch them with my brother and his wife. It’s a hour and a half drive there, so I will be out of the house most of the day. I am trying. And probably being back at work will give me a more structured routine. It’s just that the place is not that nice. I went in there today to fill some forms in. Not one apart from the 3 who have supported me, even acknowledged I was there. But you could hear the whispers. Simon was the one I would turn to and he would tell me how great I was and worth 10 of them. (I have been bullied). Now I won’t have my champion. I am only 57 and was looking forward to maybe retiring early and us doing things together. Now I only see maybe 20 plus years of loneliness 
. I really don’t want to meet anyone else. No one will ever come close and it wouldn’t be fair on them.
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You go girl im gonna do the same .This is our time .Can you remember years ago a lady who.won on the pools viv nicholson i think she said im gonna spend spend spend .Im taking a leaf out her book my oh would say were worth it take care xxx
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You are clearly doing brilliantly so well done. There will always be relapses and bad moments, days, etc but we just have to keep going. I admire your efforts as I keep saying I will do some long walks but not yet managed it so I shall take inspiration from you and get up from the sofa and do it
Lyn
X
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I certainly can remember her ! Thsts best thing to do innit ! Get it spent 
xxx
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