Hi Laura sorry to hear your down today 
we will have down days it’s normal and I didn’t get along with sertraline I stopped taking them I only gave them 5 days which I know isn’t long enough but my head felt a lot of pressure I did feel more ‘up’ like happier so it did definitely work in that regard but I was frightened how potent and powerful it was and thought I will struggle to get off this long term and have decided I’ll just take kalms and bachs rescue remedy for a bit and hopefully that helps. They’ve helped me in the past.
Amy xxx
Hi Jess that’s good to know I hope it was her so much I do believe she’s still around me 
she won’t leave if she can help it!
And thank you I’ve just found connecting with people in the same situation has helped me a lot and I know people in my real life who’ve been through it similar age to me and they’ve given me advice so I’m glad I could help some people too. We’ll get there it’s very raw and fresh over time we’ll still feel this way but we will get stronger over time and know they’re waiting for us somewhere it’s just see you later for now it’s not goodbye just remember that xxx
Also remember you’ll be okay in work Friday I know it’s not ideal but you will get through it and find something different in a year from now you’ll be looking back on now things will change it’s just a hard time just now but you will get through it xxx
Thank you so much for your kind words. I married 2 wonderful men who were quite a lot older than me and I became their carers in the end. My second husband was my soul mate and for many years I was in denial. My Mum died of lung cancer about 5 years ago. I didn’t live close by and although I was sad, I was glad she had a release from all the pain she was in. My Dad died at the beginning of October 2023. He had vascular dementia and so was in a care home. I had to do everything when I moved back. Buy my own flat, sell the old one. Take over looking after his finances as my sister was mishandling them. Because of the dementia he became a different person, those hard edges to his personality disappeared and he became my very best friend. What I have been struggling with is the smoke alarm being faulty in my flat. I was on tenterhooks all weekend wondering if and when it was going to beep. Several engineers came out, out of hours and did nothing. It turns all it needed was a new battery. They are checking it over today to make sure that is the only fault. I didn’t use to stress out so much over such things. I just need to feel safe at the moment as I feel very exposed emotionally.
Hi Tim ,
Well one more thing happened on Sunday my husband was talking about Mum having her electric meter replaced . Then the lights started flickering as he was talking . I asked mum if they usually do that and she said no. Seems to be when my husband starts talking about changing things in the house that perhaps aren’t necessary .
How are you doing ? I’m still rather I guess depressed - I can pull myself out of it but I have to keep busy .
Are you fixing anything interesting at the moment ?
I will check out the book …
Laura xx
Yes i took it a couple of years ago and had some weird side effects. I thought about taking them now but trying to push through it.
I had a Sue Ryder counselling assessment yesterday and I will be starting that soon . The assessment showed I was still very overwhelmed with grief which is normal in this time frame but that I am embracing the grief which is positive . She said the counselling should help with the overwhelming feeling . I hope it does . Will keep you all posted anyway x
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AmyC, are you ok, not heard from you for 7 days and am a bit worrid, like to drop a line just to say you are ok?
Timxx
Hello everyone how are you all getting on? I’ve been a bit emotional today with the run up to christmas and my Gran wasn’t going to put decorations up but decided she would because it would have been what my Mum would have wanted.
I’m feeling very lost and unsure on what to do with my life at the moment. This all bereavement thing is exhausting! I really feel like I’ve changed as a person and don’t know who I am anymore.
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Hello Amy.
Hope life is being kinder to you.
The soup made by your dad sounds delicious, is he a good cook and how is he coping?, very well by the sound of it.
I have a photograph of my mother taken at her silver wedding in 1982, the other picture is the wall memorial to my family, the casket contains my mums ashes.
The left photograph is of my dad taken on the occasion of his retirement as justices clark.
The right photograph, with horns growing out of his head, is of my twin brother, taken by his wife on his, and my, 60th Birthday Anniversary.
All 3 photographs were used at the funeral, it seeming only fitting as the last one left that I remember my dad and brother as well, they both being very much part of my mums story, and they were included in the eulogy.
Glad your Robin has returned, Im hope you are all recovering from your bugs, I think the cold weather will kill a lot of them off
I got my St Johns Wart teabags today and had one, I then slept, I am sleeping a lot more these days then I used to.
Seeing my gp tomorrow(hope I wont be sectioned) got to drop off a clock I fixed and return a borrowed book ‘life among the dead’ by lisa Williams,
Dog sitting for sis in law and having tea with her later, so it should be an interesting day, going to show me her new hot water tank.
Intend to start my new cleaning business in the spring.
Hope you enjoy the pictures Amy.
Blessings to all.
Timxx
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Hi Laura, sorry you are feeling down and not so good my self, have done a lot of sleeping recently, its probably all part of the greaving process and my natural inclination to hybernate in cold weather, I seem to sleep and wake in burst at anytime during the day or night.
Interesting about the flashing lights when your husband mentioned the meter, there is something going on that we cannot comprehend in this life and put it down to paranormal, perhaps it will all become clear in the next.
Been fixing clocks this week and returning one tomorrow when I see my gp, then dog sitting for sis in law and having tea later when she shows me her new hot water tank(nothing very sexy in that, usually you invite jorge and hen over to see your new yacht, certainly not a label printing machine, I used to fix those as well
Probably need anti depressants, was in a very dark place 2 weeks ago, i have depression plus ptsd and the two came together.=, I am NOT out of the woods.
Try not to be so depressed, its hard I know and nothing will bring back your dad, we just have to hang in there, that goes for all of us.
Blessings and good health.
Timxx
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Arh Tim, I love your photos! Your family all look like very lovely and kind people!
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I second that Tim - lovely pics x
Jess, it sounds to me that you feel you have lost your way in life and that you see no porpos,grief can bring profound change to our lives and NOTHING will ever be the same again, because when you lose someone very close, then part of you dies with them.
I can only offer you my sympathy, I do not know your circumstances and I do not know the ins and outs of your work, or the nature of the interactions between you, your boy friend, his mother and others.
What I do know, is you must know seriously take stock of your life, and decide which way you want to steer it and with who.
You say so many things in your house do not work, is it still a building site?(my brothers was, I dubbed it a hard hat area and even the dog found it hard to get around, it was hilarious!!)
You need to be more assertive and make it clear what you are and are not prepared to put up with, that includes work, your relations, the lot, you cannot live like a door mat, appeasement never works, you pay a terrible price in the long run.
Regarding contacting your mother, have you considered channeling?, this is ware spirit talks through the medium to loved ones left behind, quite a few mediums do it but with safe guards, itcan take an enormous strane on the medium, usually the voice sounds like your loved one as well., you might like to explore the possibility, ask mediums if they do channeling, not all do,they will know what you mean.
Consider starting your own cleaning business, I would start in the spring if I were you when we are through the winter,
Have been sleeping more then I usually do, probably part of the greaving process combined with my natural inclination to hibernate in cold weather.
jp in the morning,dog sitting for sis in law tomorrow afternoon and having tea with her at night.
Take care, dont do anything I wouldn’t, hopefully Friday will be not to hard for you.
Blessings be upon you
Timxx
Bless you Jess, you are so kind and I was so lucky to have them as my family, one day I hope to be with them again.
Love
Timxx
Thanks Laura, hope you are having a good evening
I’ve had many mediums channel my mum as that’s what got me interested in trying it out for myself. It gets quite addictive going to mediums though!
I do hear her in my mind at times but I question it as it could just be my mind making it up but a lot of mediums actually struggle to channel their own as they think the same as I do.
I’ve actually brought a pendulum today and just been testing it out and wow I could certainly feel someone’s presence. I asked if it was my other halves grandad and it swung for yes and I could feel his energy again.
I then asked if my Mum was there and believe me or not it really swung for yes it’s was so strange!
I am not 100% a pendulum is real but it does swing in the opposite direction for no and I have no idea how it would do that if it was fake 
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Hi Jess1 sometimes it is when we are really hurting that we discover we have other gifts which we didn’t we had. I am a clairvoyant medium and so can talk to “the Spirits” as my late husband used to say. You are not making up what you hear especially if the answer is straight there in an instant. It takes a lot of trust from the medium to realise it is not them or their brain filling in the gaps.
However it doesn’t make the grieving easier. Still so painful and the fear stuff which I know is not real, is doing my head in. Still I’m grateful that some people on this forum wake up really early in the morning, I thought I was the only one! I am going to try and get a doctors appointment as I think I need to go back on the anti-depressants. Why does grief scramble your brain?
Hope you have a good day.
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Hello Zhug, welcome to the group, it is so good to hear the perspective of a clairvoyant and medium like yourself.
You will no doubt be familiar with channelling, have you ever done this yourself and what is your experience of it please?, you may be able to help Jess.
For my part I am developing an interest in the subject since my mother passed, but my interest started earlier then that with a paranormal experience I had with my twin brother the night after he passed, a movement operated light in my bedroom started coming on for no reason, everytime it went out something hit it to make it come on again, I called out to my brother and asked if he was there, the light behaved its self after that, I included the experience in the eulogy and later learnt that a close friend off his had had a similer experiance the same night…50 miles away!!.
I am currentlyreading a range of books concerned with clairvoyance, medium ship and the afterlife, you are probably familiar with Lisa Williams, Quinn, and others as you move in there circles.
I am slightly clairvoyant, it saved my life on at least one occasion when it stopped me from driving a green light in Liverpool that would have put me under the front axle of a speeding lorry from the right, has also given me warnings of terrible events including arson and murder in a bedsit house ware I lived(my Liverpool years, if I am ever famous I will turn it into a book)
Going to my gp today, I was in a very dark place two weeks ago and like you may need anti depressants, I was my mothers carer for 4 years and she passed in my arms, I have hypertension, depression and ptsd, all the nice things you get with high stress(NOT!!) yes, we have all been through the meat grinder of life on this site, and we are all damaged as a result.
Do you do readings?,perhaps you and Jess should get together, it might be good for both of you.
Blessings and enjoy your day, keep warm and watch for ice underfoot if you go out.
Timxx
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Jess, if it works it works, no one knows what electricity is, but we all use it and accept it as a fact,
You probably have some medium and clairvoyant abilities, I have suggested to zhug that you and her get together sometime, probably be good for both of you.
Channeling is a difficult subject, not all mediums do it, Lisa Williams had one client and did it by mistake,when the tape was played back it was the clients grand father speaking to her…in Punjabi!!!
It is a fascinating subject and I would like to know more of it, a church minister I spoke to admits to an experience with her mother after she passed on, but refused to elaborate and did not want to acknowledge that some people have this ability for a fact, Trenchard Dowding of RAF Battle of Britain fighter command was certainly clarev oyant and regularly talked to his passed wife, he had the uncanny ability of knowing what the Luftwaffe were doing long before they showed up on radar and would scramble scrodrums to intercept them, although never officially acknowledged, Dowdings clairvoyance was a secret weapon that very few know off even know, it was never an official secret, but I think only his sister and his son knew(who was a spitfire pilot) and they kept it in the family.
Going to my gp today and hoping for the best, hope your day is better
talk to Zhug, she can possibly help you.
Blessings upon you
Timxx
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I think the sleep will do you good you must need it . I wish I could sleep more . I think we are all probably depressed I don’t see how you can feel this rubbish for this long and be in pain without being.
Let us know how you get on at the docs …
we just having to keep pushing on and seeing light where we can !
It’s snowed here a little Derbyshire . Looks pretty but so cold …
love to you all. X x
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