Hello everyone how are you all getting on? I’ve been a bit emotional today with the run up to christmas and my Gran wasn’t going to put decorations up but decided she would because it would have been what my Mum would have wanted.
I’m feeling very lost and unsure on what to do with my life at the moment. This all bereavement thing is exhausting! I really feel like I’ve changed as a person and don’t know who I am anymore.
Hello Amy.
Hope life is being kinder to you.
The soup made by your dad sounds delicious, is he a good cook and how is he coping?, very well by the sound of it.
I have a photograph of my mother taken at her silver wedding in 1982, the other picture is the wall memorial to my family, the casket contains my mums ashes.
The left photograph is of my dad taken on the occasion of his retirement as justices clark.
The right photograph, with horns growing out of his head, is of my twin brother, taken by his wife on his, and my, 60th Birthday Anniversary.
All 3 photographs were used at the funeral, it seeming only fitting as the last one left that I remember my dad and brother as well, they both being very much part of my mums story, and they were included in the eulogy.
Seeing my gp tomorrow(hope I wont be sectioned) got to drop off a clock I fixed and return a borrowed book ‘life among the dead’ by lisa Williams,
Dog sitting for sis in law and having tea with her later, so it should be an interesting day, going to show me her new hot water tank.
Intend to start my new cleaning business in the spring.
Hope you enjoy the pictures Amy.
Blessings to all.
Timxx
Hi Laura, sorry you are feeling down and not so good my self, have done a lot of sleeping recently, its probably all part of the greaving process and my natural inclination to hybernate in cold weather, I seem to sleep and wake in burst at anytime during the day or night.
Interesting about the flashing lights when your husband mentioned the meter, there is something going on that we cannot comprehend in this life and put it down to paranormal, perhaps it will all become clear in the next.
Been fixing clocks this week and returning one tomorrow when I see my gp, then dog sitting for sis in law and having tea later when she shows me her new hot water tank(nothing very sexy in that, usually you invite jorge and hen over to see your new yacht, certainly not a label printing machine, I used to fix those as well
Probably need anti depressants, was in a very dark place 2 weeks ago, i have depression plus ptsd and the two came together.=, I am NOT out of the woods.
Try not to be so depressed, its hard I know and nothing will bring back your dad, we just have to hang in there, that goes for all of us.
Blessings and good health.
Timxx
Arh Tim, I love your photos! Your family all look like very lovely and kind people!
I second that Tim - lovely pics x
Jess, it sounds to me that you feel you have lost your way in life and that you see no porpos,grief can bring profound change to our lives and NOTHING will ever be the same again, because when you lose someone very close, then part of you dies with them.
I can only offer you my sympathy, I do not know your circumstances and I do not know the ins and outs of your work, or the nature of the interactions between you, your boy friend, his mother and others.
What I do know, is you must know seriously take stock of your life, and decide which way you want to steer it and with who.
You say so many things in your house do not work, is it still a building site?(my brothers was, I dubbed it a hard hat area and even the dog found it hard to get around, it was hilarious!!)
You need to be more assertive and make it clear what you are and are not prepared to put up with, that includes work, your relations, the lot, you cannot live like a door mat, appeasement never works, you pay a terrible price in the long run.
Regarding contacting your mother, have you considered channeling?, this is ware spirit talks through the medium to loved ones left behind, quite a few mediums do it but with safe guards, itcan take an enormous strane on the medium, usually the voice sounds like your loved one as well., you might like to explore the possibility, ask mediums if they do channeling, not all do,they will know what you mean.
Consider starting your own cleaning business, I would start in the spring if I were you when we are through the winter,
Have been sleeping more then I usually do, probably part of the greaving process combined with my natural inclination to hibernate in cold weather.
jp in the morning,dog sitting for sis in law tomorrow afternoon and having tea with her at night.
Take care, dont do anything I wouldn’t, hopefully Friday will be not to hard for you.
Blessings be upon you
Timxx
Bless you Jess, you are so kind and I was so lucky to have them as my family, one day I hope to be with them again.
Love
Timxx
Thanks Laura, hope you are having a good evening
I’ve had many mediums channel my mum as that’s what got me interested in trying it out for myself. It gets quite addictive going to mediums though!
I do hear her in my mind at times but I question it as it could just be my mind making it up but a lot of mediums actually struggle to channel their own as they think the same as I do.
I’ve actually brought a pendulum today and just been testing it out and wow I could certainly feel someone’s presence. I asked if it was my other halves grandad and it swung for yes and I could feel his energy again.
I then asked if my Mum was there and believe me or not it really swung for yes it’s was so strange!
I am not 100% a pendulum is real but it does swing in the opposite direction for no and I have no idea how it would do that if it was fake 
Hi Jess1 sometimes it is when we are really hurting that we discover we have other gifts which we didn’t we had. I am a clairvoyant medium and so can talk to “the Spirits” as my late husband used to say. You are not making up what you hear especially if the answer is straight there in an instant. It takes a lot of trust from the medium to realise it is not them or their brain filling in the gaps.
However it doesn’t make the grieving easier. Still so painful and the fear stuff which I know is not real, is doing my head in. Still I’m grateful that some people on this forum wake up really early in the morning, I thought I was the only one! I am going to try and get a doctors appointment as I think I need to go back on the anti-depressants. Why does grief scramble your brain?
Hope you have a good day.
Hello Zhug, welcome to the group, it is so good to hear the perspective of a clairvoyant and medium like yourself.
You will no doubt be familiar with channelling, have you ever done this yourself and what is your experience of it please?, you may be able to help Jess.
For my part I am developing an interest in the subject since my mother passed, but my interest started earlier then that with a paranormal experience I had with my twin brother the night after he passed, a movement operated light in my bedroom started coming on for no reason, everytime it went out something hit it to make it come on again, I called out to my brother and asked if he was there, the light behaved its self after that, I included the experience in the eulogy and later learnt that a close friend off his had had a similer experiance the same night…50 miles away!!.
I am currentlyreading a range of books concerned with clairvoyance, medium ship and the afterlife, you are probably familiar with Lisa Williams, Quinn, and others as you move in there circles.
I am slightly clairvoyant, it saved my life on at least one occasion when it stopped me from driving a green light in Liverpool that would have put me under the front axle of a speeding lorry from the right, has also given me warnings of terrible events including arson and murder in a bedsit house ware I lived(my Liverpool years, if I am ever famous I will turn it into a book)
Going to my gp today, I was in a very dark place two weeks ago and like you may need anti depressants, I was my mothers carer for 4 years and she passed in my arms, I have hypertension, depression and ptsd, all the nice things you get with high stress(NOT!!) yes, we have all been through the meat grinder of life on this site, and we are all damaged as a result.
Do you do readings?,perhaps you and Jess should get together, it might be good for both of you.
Blessings and enjoy your day, keep warm and watch for ice underfoot if you go out.
Timxx
Jess, if it works it works, no one knows what electricity is, but we all use it and accept it as a fact,
You probably have some medium and clairvoyant abilities, I have suggested to zhug that you and her get together sometime, probably be good for both of you.
Channeling is a difficult subject, not all mediums do it, Lisa Williams had one client and did it by mistake,when the tape was played back it was the clients grand father speaking to her…in Punjabi!!!
It is a fascinating subject and I would like to know more of it, a church minister I spoke to admits to an experience with her mother after she passed on, but refused to elaborate and did not want to acknowledge that some people have this ability for a fact, Trenchard Dowding of RAF Battle of Britain fighter command was certainly clarev oyant and regularly talked to his passed wife, he had the uncanny ability of knowing what the Luftwaffe were doing long before they showed up on radar and would scramble scrodrums to intercept them, although never officially acknowledged, Dowdings clairvoyance was a secret weapon that very few know off even know, it was never an official secret, but I think only his sister and his son knew(who was a spitfire pilot) and they kept it in the family.
Going to my gp today and hoping for the best, hope your day is better
talk to Zhug, she can possibly help you.
Blessings upon you
Timxx
I think the sleep will do you good you must need it . I wish I could sleep more . I think we are all probably depressed I don’t see how you can feel this rubbish for this long and be in pain without being.
Let us know how you get on at the docs …
we just having to keep pushing on and seeing light where we can !
It’s snowed here a little Derbyshire . Looks pretty but so cold …
love to you all. X x
We all have the ability too communicate with the other side it’s just that most of us forget as we grow up but we can tap back into it if we wish.
The first medium I ever went to was amazing! But because I recommended her to someone else who was so sceptical and negative she ended up putting up a massive block making it really difficult for the medium.
She wanted a specific person to come through and her mum came through who passed a while ago and because it wasn’t who she wanted she refused to believe in it (although everything she said about her mum was spot on) so the whole reading went wrong!
This person went out of their way to tell me that my reading was a con but they really don’t know everything that was discussed! Things was said that no one but me should have known!
She actually sent me a recording of some of the reading and the way she spoke to the medium was very rude and disrespectful and I wouldn’t even want to go a reading for her with that attitude!
Obviously this knocked me quite a bit at the time, it had me questioning my reading and I thought I’d been done over!
For some reason though even though I’ve had a lot happen that indicates my mum is still around and I’m developing there’s still a part of me that worries that it isn’t real. I don’t know where this fear comes from but I guess there’s always the possibility x
Hi Tim
Wonderful photos 
thanks for sharing them. Hope the tea is nice and helps you just check it doesn’t interact with any other medication you are on, if you go on anti depressants you need to stop St John’s wort (I did a lot of reading into it suggest you do the same just incase it interacts with anything)
My dad is a great cook so was my mum but he’s great he’s been cooking alot for us.
That’s good you’re keeping busy, I’m alright just keeping myself busy too, and you definitely won’t be sectioned. But it’s good you’re going to speak to someone 
Seen the Robin again today out our back door I think it’s moved in so my dads put a new bird box out incase it wants to stay there.
Amy xxx
Jess, your doughs are ALL IN YOUR MIND, trust your intuition and it will never let you down, there are things out there that perminate the cosmos that are interconnected with space, time, matter-anti-matter, Maxwell’s equations, Newtons laws, Balsams constant, you and me and everything else in between, and somewhere in all that is the afterlife and all that goes with it, and it is currently beyond our understanding, for now we just have to accept that it is there and some people are gifted and can experiance it and see it.
Ignore what your so called friend told you, she went with a closed mind wanting something specific as if she was ordering a size 10 pozidrive screw driver, the nature of the subject is neither the client nor the medium have control as to what is going to come over anymore then we have control over what people around us are thinking(Putin might but he is something else) and I hope you have ditched this so called friend who you say was rude and offhand, the medium would not like that and take resentment to her, no one likes to be insulted.
It sounds to me your friend did not love her mum, we cannot judge the reason for that, but from what you say she always wanted her own way, friends like that Jess are to be avoided, as I have said to Amy, if a relationship appears toxic, its because it is, such people will drag you down, in the work place you just have to accept it, but not in your own time and place.
You clearly know that your so called friend was not only out of line but completely wrong, why then do you let her memory influence your thinking?, the past is the past and cannot be changed and Lisa Williams always discards the past pack in the Tawon cards, you know if you are rite, do not let others who have biased, and no doubt incorrect attitudes influence your thinking, look at things for yourself and ask yourself if you feel comfortable with it, make up your own mind and do not be influenced by what others think or say, it is easy to condemn, but harder to understand, your friend condemned your medium outright because she did not get just what she wanted, displaying not only her own ignorance of the subject but her arrogance as well.
Stay in contact with Zhug, I think she can help you to deal with your doubt’s, but I think it is yourself you are doubting.
Bless you and keep you, hope work ok tomorrow.
Timxx
Hi Amy.
Glad you liked the photoes, I like the st Johns tea, there was a problem with my appointment and I ended up speaking to my doctor on the phone…from the sergary having driven in!!, he has arranged to see me next Thursday at 3 o’clock in the afternoon.
How are you coping with your antidepressants?, have you come off them?, I am not sure what is best for me, I am hoping that extra sleep will put me rite,
Good that your dad is a good cook and apart for anything else it is giving him something to do, I tend to hibernate more in really cold weather and I pity those like you who have to go to work, I hope they are being kind to you.
My dad was an excellent cook, and one of my mums trials after marriage was learning to cook in the first 6 months, (he was born over a bakery, his ant owned it)
Spent most of day dog sitting for sis-in-law, tomorrow fixing 2 clocks, filling in a return for inland revenue, and anything else I have to deal with, cold tonight but no ice on road, its 12 past ten and after sending this going to bed(yarning at the thought)
The bird box is a grate idea, is the hole correct for little robin?, it gives a safe place away from predators.
Thanks for the St Johns wart warning, I will try that before anti dipressants.
Bless you all and keep you safe.
Timxx
Hi Tim
I think the bird box is okay for a Robin but I will check tomorrow if not I’ll order the correct one for it.
I’m off the anti depressants now although I still feel the effects, they’re very powerful so just be aware of that before you decide to take them if you do. I’m going to take St John’s wort during December and not take any other medication so there’s no possible interactions. Apparently St John’s wort if taken alongside an anti depressant can be extremely dangerous as both increase levels of serotonin or affect it in some way, so it has to be one or the other.
Yeah the cooking keeps him busy and it’s nice to have home cooked meals, I’m not the best cook I try my best though and I am great at certain things but he is good at making anything
I’ve only got one or two more shifts in the office til next year so it is not too bad, rest of my shifts will be from the house thankfully as the weather here is so cold now it is definitely winter now.
Take care and speak later
Amy xx
Hey Tim it wasn’t really a friend of mine it was someone on this forum. I almost left at one point as she was talking badly of me and making it out like I was feeding the medium when I wasn’t.
The medium at the time didn’t even know who I was and told me things she shouldn’t have known! She has been to a lot of different mediums but never seems to get a good reading but there’s got to be a reason I suppose.
I passed on the mediums details because I wanted to help with her grief. I ended up having her blocked in the end because she really did dishearten me at the time.
We all have the ability but tend to be closed off from it with all the hustle and bustle of every day life. They say that we are more in tune with the other side as children and most of us grow out of it.
At circle I have told people things that I shouldn’t nt know and I’ve given them things I do not understand but they do and that in itself should make me less doubtful.
Just that when life gets really hard you wonder what the whole point of it is and you ask loads of other questions ect.
Thanks for the update and bless you Amy.
I think I will stick with St Johns for know too.
Be in contact later.
Sleep well and wishing you a good night.
Timxx
