Best ways to cope with loss of mother

Really like to believe we’re all in tune especially as kids. I ask my daughter sometimes does she miss gran and she still says ‘gran up’ and points up. How would a baby know that?
When I was young I used to see white feathers a lot, and one day I seen them and they all turned black and turned to ash as they hit the ground and I never saw them again after that. Like they weren’t there I’d tell my mum to look at the white feathers floating around me and she wouldn’t see them. The ones turning to black then ash always stuck out to me like I knew at the time something had changed, perhaps it was me growing out of that stage and not being open to it anymore.
I’m sorry you went through that with a user on this site. I’m more easy going if people believe things I don’t that’s none of my business. I think (and I think you’d agree) if you’re going to see a medium you need to try and be open to the experience, if you’re closed off and hoping it fails then I’d imagine the medium will have a hard time doing any kind of reading for you.

Best of luck tomorrow Jess you’ll be absolutely fine. Just think about what you’ll be doing after 2 tomorrow when you’re finished up, focus on the end of the day and don’t overthink the morning. Just go in keep your head down and remember what Tim said be assertive, if someone asks anything about why you’re back you’re allowed to say you’re not comfortable discussing it all right now but you’re glad to be back. Just keep it short and sweet. You’ll be fine :slight_smile:
Amy x

1 Like

You too, I hope I get a sleep tonight I got hardly any sleep last night at all. I think the anti depressants are to blame they made me very alert at night worse than usual. Hoping they’re out my system soon. Sorry if I put you off them. Everyone is different some people take them and they respond really well. But for me just going to try St John’s wort next month, then after a while I’ll go back to kalms. Can’t even take both at the same time, you’re not meant to have alcohol or coffee even whilst using St John’s wort. But I’ll let you know how I get on with it too.
Night night Amy xxx

Thank you Amy I’m just going to say that the grass wasn’t greener lol and the colleagues I actually got on with and quite nuts, we will probably have a laugh about it!

And that’s strange feathers turning into ash and actually really good that you remember that! And it sounds like your mum comes to see your daughter all the time. What a lovely thought!

I’ve been having a down day thinking about things again, I’ve gone back to asking why and had a few cries! Although I am more of a believer than a disbeliever of the afterlife it is still hard to deal without my mums physical appearance but I’m sure we all feel the same here!

I’ll let you all know how it goes tomorrow, dam I do not want to be there though lol

2 Likes

Hi Tim, Thank you for your lovely reply yesterday, it really lifted me. It’s so good to know I can join the conversations on here. It sounds like JessJ is already into mediumship if she sits in a circle and I wouldn’t like to push myself forward. There are people who say they are gifted with clairvoyance etc. but are not necessarily nice people as I have learnt to my cost. However there are some lovely and genuine Mediums. To blow your mind, there is a medium on YouTube called Elaine Thorpe and she goes into Trance and her male guide comes through and speaks in his own voice. I have had loads of readings and studied with her.

I had a chiropractic treatment yesterday morning and felt better, maybe more grounded and “heard” after that. I then went onto the surgery and booked an appointment with the GP which I have in 2 weeks. I am taking St. John’s Wort at the moment and have been since I moved back. I also tried some Bach Rescue Remedy. I think I need something like Sertraline which I was on before.

I hope you can get the help you need from your GP, it must be so difficult for you as you were there when your Mum died. Because you are as you say slightly clairvoyant it means you are more sensitive to any feelings, vibes about people, places. This is a good thing in many ways and sometimes it’s a bit of a pain. Still I wouldn’t change it, its who I am.

I have done channelling. I brought through my late husband to talk to a close friend whilst I was giving her healing. (Very much frowned upon by all the healing organisations). For me the readings which I mostly do for free because I love it, always come from a healing perspective. I think with all the readings I have ever done the person has had healing too.

I am getting there with the troublesome thoughts going round in my head. As you said in a previous post, they are just thoughts and eventually whatever you are worrying about turns out not to have been the huge problem your mind was telling you it was. It’s all part of this crazy ride we find ourselves on.

1 Like

So you start today Jess ? Good luck x

Glad you are feeling better . You all seem to have some clairvoyant skills ! That must be comforting … x

Hello Zhug, thankyou very much for your so kind reply, and it lifts my spirit and is good to have a clairvoyant in the group, I am just at the start of my medium ship journey and have not yet found a circle.

Thankyou for the warning, sadly not all clairvoyants are nice people as in other professions (it is a profession if done properly) and in my book insurance, registration and peer to peer assessment should be a compulsory part off it similar to doctors and lawyers etc, a bad clairvoyant can do real sociological harm and Quinn had an experience like that when she was 18 and covers it in her book ‘beyond the five senses’ Lisa Williams always ask ‘Do you want to know everything?’ if the client answers yes then she takes that as permission to pass on from spirit all she is told to the client, good or bad, but she does ask the client first.

What is it like to do channeling, and how does one train to do it?, I take it this is the more advanced level, while I can sense the presence of spirit(usually the room turns cold) I do not as a rule see them with my eye as genuine mediums do, sometimes my mother comes through to me as a voice in the back of my mind and that has been happening since I went to see Quinn in february, the name coming through very strongly in the reading was Frank, my father, Quinn said I had come a bit soon for my mother, who was there and she described her very well to me, my Niece was in before me and she was asking her who Michael was?(her father) who past in September 2001 and was my twin brother.(my interest in the afterlife and clairvoyance started then when he was messing with a photomotion light in my bedroom the night after his passing) it could only have been him, a close friend 50 miles away had a similar experience the same night so I was not imagining it.

The night my mother past in her lounge at home, the last carers to tend her(less then 2 hours before her passing) complained the room was cold, I had noticed it and put an electric blanket on my mother, I gather this is caused by the spirits of loved ones who have gone before who gather as the time of passing approaches.

I shall give Elaine Thorpe a look in, sounds very interesting and thanks for that, are you still a practising clairvoyant?,just if you do channeling I might have some business to put your way, I would love to hear from my primary family (have you seen the pictures?, I sent them openly) my mother will probably tell me to get on with things quicker, I have had a lot done with the house, a solar power system, improved insulation, modern gas boiler fitted, building a snug at the back of the lounge, I have kept my mothers ashes and the wall memorial is in the lounge, they have been properly mounted in the casket,(so many are just left in a paper bag at the back of the wardrobe) they should be decently mounted, or scattered, my twin brother was in a plastic bottle with a barcode on it for some 18 months, half his ashes have know been scattered, the remainder next year.

Sertraline seems to be going the rounds and my Niece is on it, permanently, it appears to be the most popular antidepressant, my brother called depression a middle class illness, it of course effects all classes, Winston Churchill had terrible depression and it started in 1916 with the Gardanells and that botched naval operation to knock Turkey out of the war, Killed many Australian soldiers, Churchill, as first sea lord was not popular.

I am sticking with St John.s for know, I have a hundred tea bags of the stuff and take one at night, certainly helps me sleep, but having a natural hibernation tendency I sleep more anyway in cold weather.

Yes, I am more sensitive then most and I do pick up vibes from people around me, it makes one a good judge of character, I have learnt to trust my intuition, that, is my spirit guides, and they are NEVER wrong, I have for a very long time sensed that there is a benevolent something watching over me, I have a faith, I am christian and I try to live by certain rules, and I do believe, in fact I have very strong anecdotal evidence from personal experience that this life is not all there is, that passing is part of the process, and that while the body dies we do not, and if that were not so then channelling wouldn’t work, and maybe we come back, but I think once through this world is enough punishment for anyone.

Lisa Williams does healing (whika what ever they call it) and has certainly improved and saved lives with it and used it in conjunction with conventional treatments to very good effect, I think Lisa is a genuinely nice person, certainly that is how her books come over as in ‘life among the dead’ and her second book ‘survival of the soul’ no doubt you have read them,

I think every medical practice should have a clairvoyant practitioner, they are excellent at making diagnoses of illness and could save valuable time and money buy pointing the doctors and patience in the rite direction, a little more mutual respect is probably a good way forward.

Troublesome thoughts, two weeks ago I was in a very dark place, I think our minds can turn on us with out warning catching us off guard, perhaps these are bad spirits attaching us?,

Hope your day is pleasanter then the last and your torment eases, please stay with this group, love to hear from you again.

Blessings to you

Timxx

Hello I’m always open to hearing from other mediums. I know what you mean about some of them not being nice as ego gets to their heads sometimes but I’ve heard they end up not being very good due to that reason.

I don’t really get a lot at the moment but I’ve only been going for a few months and have managed to suprise myself at times.

I won’t be able to go to circle every week anymore though due to going back to my previous work place as it’s on every Saturday and I work every other so I’m feeling a little gutted because it was the only thing that was helping me through the grief. I hope it doesn’t affect my progress though!

I am told that I have clear feeling but I’m not too sure, I think I do feel energies but don’t know if it’s wishful thinking and my mind playing tricks on me!

Jess, Lisa Williams had the same self dougts while learning the basics, she is slightly different in that she has always been seeing spirits coming out of the wall etc as a child so perhaps giving her a head start, but the doubts she expressed were the same as yours, do you see spirit?, I basically cannot, but I hear the voice of my mother in the back of my mind and that has been since I had a reading with Quinn in february,

Can your circle tutor give you things to work on by yourself to cover for the weeks you cannot attend?, that would be helpful so you know ware they are upto.

Try not to get too stressed over work, remember what I have suggested about starting your own cleaning business, its a lot lighter work then having to lift patients around, I was helping my mothers principle carer at one point who had back injuries after being rear-ended in her car.

If you have qualifications as a carer then you can operate your own combined homecare and cleaning business,THINK OFF IT!!

Apparently Zhug can do channelling, might be something you would like to look at, may I ask Jess was your mum a medium?, these things tend to run in families.

Stop doubting yourself, you need to reevaluate your life, consider what is possible and do what works for you, stop listening to time rasters, people who get you down, and stop being a door matt,that applies to me as well, we have all been through terrible ordeals and we all have to rebuild our lives and get ourselves together, ok,so its back to the old job, but consider it a new start and begin today to decide what you want to achieve in life, in the words of Cloeo Brennon, not to high but not to low, it must be doable and realistic.

Blessings unto you

Timxx

Hey I’m not a carer, I work in a care home as a domestic. I was getting fed up of the same old routine and wanted something different and was always interested in doing activities as it looked fun at my place.

I did enquire about changing roles and the manager actually agreed, this is after I had my interview at the other home though!

I came in on one of my days off for a trial run for the head of acitivites to turn around and say that they had someone now. So obviously that angered me. I happened to get the call offering me the position at the other home the same day and with my frame of mind I didn’t think about it I accepted it, little did I know that I was making a huge mistake!

Did you say that this Lisa Williams has a book about it all, I’d be quite interested in giving it a read especially seen as she felt the way I did.

I don’t see them with my own eyes but I do in my mind as well as images when they’re communicating with me (that’s if it’s not my own mind just being random lol)

I have had a few moments though where I’ve seen things in the corner of my eyes! I get a lot of that at work but it’s probably to be expected with being in a care home.

I once was sat out on my break and I so a woman in my side eye, turned to look at her and she wasn’t there but then she popped up in my mind in a white dress.

Another time I was sweeping up my garden and a man leaning over my gate appeared in my mind.

And another time I was washing up at work and when I turned around a man appeared right in front of me but in my mind, that one made me jump a mile lol he soon disappeared though because they don’t like to startle you.

It’s hard to explain really, apparently it’s very rare to actually see them with your own eyes.

I guess with all these experiences I’ve had I tend to brush them off as being my mind playing tricks on me.

There’s times when I’m falling asleep sometimes where I get random images in my mind, it’s very weird.

Before I got into all of this I actually used to feel like I was in a room full of people talking as I was drifting off to sleep and I do wonder if I was hearing spirits now. They do say your vibration rises between being awake and asleep!

I believe that too Tim, death is just part of life, it’s all we’re guaranteed when you think about it, happens to all no one escapes it but it like you’ve said it’s not the end it’s just apart of life, and I like you saying the room went cold like relatives past have been waiting that night.
Please let me know how the tea goes for you I have bought tablets but waiting a few days before I start to ensure sertaline is out of my system first
Amy xx

Hi Jess, if you are a slave domestic then there is NO DIFFERENCE to you doing that on a self employed basis and keep more of the money you make instead of some pimp taking most of it. you can chose your own hours and be a lot happier, and you will be able to afford descent gloves (most domestic sinks are probably not as deep as ware you work and the work will be a lot lighter and you wont feel like Collyn Brennon lifting the dinnie stones)

It does sound like you have clairvoyant tendencies and can see things that others around you can not, I do recommend you read the book titles I sent you by Lisa Williams, it will open your eyes and you will probably get even more from them then I did.

I also get the impression your employer is just using you as a door matt, they probably had no intention of moving you to another job, I am afraid its up to you Jess, but if I ware you I would start making preparations know to quietly start your own cleaning business in the spring and gradually built a clientele, yes IT WILL BE HARD to start with as you will be holding down 2 jobs at once, but it gives you a chance to test the water, and by and large we have more energy in the spring as winter loosens its grip and the day light hours lenghen, you will have a good idea after the first 3 months if you can make a go of it, but if you find you have a steady 10-15 hours a week then that holds good for going full time, if you work hard at a cleaning business it will buy and large make you money, make sure you have comprehensive insurance to cover yourself for injury on the job in case you fall or something, don’t look back in 40 years time and think ‘if only’ give it a go, if it works you will not regret it, it is one of the least risk businesses to start up, what you buy you can use for your own cleaning, a little advertising in a local paper, mop and bucket, bleach, (gloves don’t forget!!)dustpan and brush is about all you need to start with and most of the time you will be using the clients materials anyway, my mum had her own dance school for many years, she started in 1947 with a half crown add in a newspaper and the use of a church room, she was not a qualified dan cer then, but she could dance and teach people to dance, and so she began, she ended up with 3 degrees in dance teaching from St Andrews University.

Yes, I hate that, people all around me in conversation and I am just sitting there surrounded by it, feel as if I am in a bubble, makes me feel disorientated and I just want to get out of it.

minas 6 hear, how with you?, near record cold for this time of year, freeze the balls of the monkeys!!!, they will be advertising for a welder.

Blessings to you Jess, take care, keep warm and watch for ice under foot if out.

Timxx

Hey it was like I never left today. Was the same old :woman_shrugging:

It was more disappointing than anything but it’ll do for now and it keeps people off my back! Not that they should even be on my back mind!

@tim007 when I was on about being in a room full of people I was referring to hearing chatter in my mind as I drifted off to sleep, didn’t really think much of it back then though, so I do wonder if spirit was trying to communicate back then!

I think I’m going to look for another medium to do another reading for me I just want to get in touch with my Mum again because it is so hard not hearing from her anymore!

Hi Amy, I hope you are feeling a bit better, I have the St Johns tea at night and it makes me sleep better, it calms the mind and induces restful sleep, I think it will be very good for you PROVIDED you are not tacking antidepressants or the pill (I don’t know what you do about birth control and no disrespect Amy, I do not want to go there, I find the whole business of sex very uncomfortable and is probably one reason I have never married, the result of being a sensitive child at a co-educational boarding school in the 70’s)

If I read it correctly you too say the room went cold when your mum past?, that’s a few of us who have noticed this, can’t be a coincidence, I can also recall my mother saying of one of her dying Uncles calling out ‘I’m coming mother’ just before passing, that is legally hearsay as it is what the final carer recalled, but I am sure its true.

Had to dash to hospital tonight through the cold and dark, no, I have not harmed my self, I have a problem with my left eye and they thought it might be a detached
retina, but apparently it is just one of the things of aging, I am becoming chronologically gifted(tick,tock) have repaired a second clock today, chronologically gifted in BOTH senses, a few old clock repairers around and very, very, few young clock repairers around, more OLD PILOTS then BOLD PILOTS (unless they have a solar panel on there heads!!)

As you have gathered I love the English art off the play on words and the understatement, no offence Amy, you’re a re bonny Scottish lass I’m sure and you should be proud of it, I have always had a soft spot for Scotland and I loved the Edinburgh Tattoo when I was there with my mother in 2017 before she became noticeably ill and Covid reared its ugly head and became the global Leviathan that it did, in those days I had a happy life, as I think we all had then, and I look back know and think off the old cat in ‘cats’ singing ‘Once I knew what happiness was’ and that life has gone forever, the two certainties of life, death and change(if you have no money, you pay no tax) that is why it is so important Amy to enjoy the present, you are well loved and have much to live for, you have lost your mother, and sadly at a young age, but you have so much going for you, enjoy the hear and know as much as you can, it is what your mother would want for you and to do, honour her by making a success of your life and by bringing up your child well, and by being the best that you can be in everything you do, she would not want you to sink into depression and sorrow, but to strive to make of your life, and I am sure my mother would wish the same for me, and that all our mothers of those of us on this site would want for us the same, one has to strive to be positive and there are inevitably downturns as I am personally so aware off, we just have to keep moving for know.

Blessings to you all, I am closing down and retiring for the night,wishing you all a quite night and sound sleep.

Timxx

2 Likes

How is everyone doing. @amyrose92 @Jess1 @tim007
Last night was an awards for the allotment association- they have started an annual award for my Dad for children to grow a sunflower they’ve done it each year but have renamed it after my Dad so it’s a memorial shield and they asked us to go and present it so his grandchildren handed it out . They are 21 and 18 .
It was emotional but I am pleased they’ve done in. I felt as if I was in a dream while I was there . Just cannot believe he is gone .
Anyway . Hope work was ok Jess , and your eye is ok Tim .
How are you feeling off the sertraline Amy ? X

1 Like

The winners shield with Dads name


And my son came second

1 Like

Well that makes so much sense now! For the past few days I’ve been on this forum I kept seeing a sunflower and didn’t know what it meant or who it was for.

It was starting to bug me and low and behold @Laura8 when you mentioned the sunflower, I got the shivers and it suddenly made sense.

I don’t want to say it is connected as a definite but that is weird if you ask me! But of course I’m thinking am I just seeing random things and being lucky that they make sense :thinking:

1 Like

Wowsers . Seems a bit of a coincidence. Wonder what it means though ? X

If it is connected I’m guessing they’re just providing evidence for the survival of the soul.

I have learnt that they give you the most random things at times lol hence why it sometimes shocks me how it makes sense to who I’m partnered with.

1 Like

Hi Laura, Thankyou for sharing the photographs, they are both beautiful shields and it is so good to have the award named after your Dad, and will be a permanent honour to him, and to your family, and hence his name, and memory, will live on, your son came second so congratulations to him, sunflowers are also lovely things for children to grow and a wonderful introduction to gardening, may many young green fingers spring from them and bloom.

My eye is know subject to further examination on Tuesday and I have been advised not to drive there because driving back might be difficult, so I will go early on the train, walk the 1.9 miles from the station to the hospital, take lunch in the hospital canteen(the food there is very good) and then have my appointment in the afternoon, so I am making it a day out of it and getting some fresh air at the same time, just pack my waterproofs(really a sauna suit but does the job)

Not done much today, has been snowing and I have been hibernating, winter has come early this year, so much for global warming.

Blessings to you Laura

Timxx