Hi Laura
Yes it still lingers I am also prone to sinus infections and on allergy tablets which help alot. Still got a runny nose but aside from that no other symptoms have lingered.
How are you? X
Hi Laura
That is actually so beautiful, that he grew what you’ll be eating at Christmas. That is very special and I hope that growing things in his allotment helps you feel closer to him 
I’m getting there with the virus but now having trouble sleeping . I’ve been doing well up to now . I can’t seem to switch my
Brain off . Still got some admin stuff to sort out around Dad’s affairs and it stresses me out a bit - it’s not things I’ve dealt with before .
I tend to get up have a cup of tea and write it all down doesn’t always work though.
It is lovely we have had all the veg - I just hope I can carry it on .
It was so sad at first to go there and see how he had left it but after a while I grew to feel comforted there .
How are you coping at the moment around Christmas … I’m finding it hard but have to make it a good one for my son. .
Xx
Hello Laura, ok if I but in, see if age uk can help with your dads administration, but if it is concerning probate you might be better putting it in the hands of a solicitor, but try age uk or citizens advise first who often have people who can assist, or at least give you a blueprint or book to follow. these things have to be right or it can bite you later, so TAKE YOUR TIME, good source of help might be youtube.
Hopefully you can carry on ware your dad left off with his allotment and make him proud, and it is grate to know you can enjoy at christmas what he planted, during the war(sorry to sound like Uncle Albert) my dad had an allotment and what he grew he sold on Ulverston market, have to ask how he got the allotment the next time I see a medium, probably in February.
I think your dad walks with you on his allotment, and he lifted your spirits, and yes, make it a good christmas, not just for your son, but for all of you and your dad as well.
Blessings to you, your mum, husband, son, Meg, and all who love you.
Timxx
Thanks again for your kind words .
We have a solicitor I am just not keen and they are slow - I have to keep on at them .
Just not things I’m used to dealing with .
I have been working today and have now finished until 29th dec .
Hope your day has gone as well as it can do xx
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You’ll make it a great Christmas Laura don’t worry and your son will take your mind off things a little. What age is he? My daughters just turned 2 so she’s my saving grace in the sense I can feel the excitement from her opening presents it will be my main focus on Christmas just making sure she has a nice time.
It’s lovely being able to go and grow veg where he did I know it must make you think of him and be sad but over time you’ll be so glad you kept doing that for him 
and that he grew the vegetables he grew on your first Christmas without him. It will be very hard to not think of him but just remember he’ll be so proud to know you’re keeping up his nice hobby and he lives on through you and your son. I remind myself that a lot that my mum still lives on through me and my daughter.
I am having trouble switching off at nights too. What kind of admin do you need to do? We got it all done quite quickly for my mum which was a relief. But she was in an assisted living and the manager there dealt with a lot of it on our behalf which was much appreciated.
Amy xxx
Thank you Amy ,
The admin is to do with probate as my Dad rents a house out and I needed some paper work. It’s being transferred over to my Mum .
There is an issue I’ve been sorting as well as the high winds have broken the chimney stack the property
It’s all in hand and my Dad has lots of contacts for people To help . So it’s ok but I really don’t need it right now if I am honest .
Trying to keep it together and keep a float !
My son is 12 so a lot older but I remember those early years . He doesn’t believe in Santa anymore but he loves the traditions and as long as he is happy that’s all I want . I’m glad to have some time off work and doing school runs now . I hope to get some rest .
It’s been so windy here there has been some things blow away at the allotment and a shed window pane has blown in . I wil go and sort it out over the next couple of days . I like to be there . I feel close to my Dad and I know he’d be very proud of me !
How is it going on the sertraline? I may ask if I can go on it in the new year if I can’t get out of this low mood I expect to feel low but it’s got worse over Christmas again so I’ll see how I feel once Christmas is over .
Have you finished for Christmas now ?
Good to hear from you xx
Yes, I have had problems with a solicitor over my late dads will, who could not understand how it integrated with my mums will with regard to inheritance tax, I sacked her, what really puts a fly in the ointment is her husband was on my dads staff when he was justices clark and for that reason I let her continue when she sold out to a new firm at same address.
I hope your christmas goes as well as it can, i know you will not find joy, but I hope and pray you can find harmony and peacexx
That’s good it’s being transferred to your mum hopefully she will be okay dealing with it and it all gets sorted soon. I hope your son enjoys Christmas he’s still young and even though doesn’t believe in Santa will still enjoy the dinner and presents
I think it’s going well I’ve been on it almost 2 weeks, definitely prefer the 25mg over the 50mg. My mood has settled and I’m not getting the side effects so it must be a better dose, would recommend starting low as can always increase it
I can imagine feeling close to your dad while you’re there that’s lovely.
Also very windy here too, not enjoying it. No I’m in work tomorrow sadly but then finished up
Amy xxx
Thanks Tim . The same goes for you . Thanks for your encouragement x
That’s good about the sertraline. So many people struggling just now.
My son has just broken up from secondary school so he will be very happy ! X
Hey everyone sorry I haven’t been on for the past few days been super busy with Christmas coming up and working.
I’m still really struggling at the moment mentally, starting to worry if I’ll always be this way now, I just miss my mum so much and actually can’t wait for Christmas to be over with!
We had strong winds the other day and I was mopping a residents room and I felt the need to look outside the window, and there on the floor outside was a robin stood looking at me 
I had to take it as a sign because it was strange it was around at that moment especially in that weather!
Always thought it was make believe the whole robin thing but I’m starting to think there’s more to it with the amount I’ve come across!
The same day I also came across 2 white feathers whilst doing my jobs.
Another thing that happened at work was when I was thinking about something and it was like I gave myself advice about it but I don’t think it was me, I think it was my mum but at the same time I am wondering whether it’s just wishful thinking and my mind making it up.
As you’re aware I have problems with my Dad at the moment and have been ignoring contact, not because I’m cutting him out of my life for good, just because I need a bit of time away from the stress.
Well a mobile number I did not recognise rang my phone and because I missed the called I decided to call back but as it was ringing something told me that it was my Dad and guess what! I didn’t say anything and sure enough I heard his voice on the other end.
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Hi Jess, glad to get your message.
Its strange about the robin isant it?, normaly in bad weather they take shelter, and the white feathers are a mistary.
Yes, I have had advise coming to me from my mum, you are not imagining it, once she rebuked me for trying on a cap in the church room during a coffee morning, on another she told me to go back to the car because I had left my wallet on the dash(I had!) the third was when I was trying to mask a straight line on the snug I am creating"What you needs a george" she told me in the back of my mind.
Our mums really are are guiding spirits, you are not imagining this, it is true, there souls are still with us and are guiding us, and is the reason why I am more clairvoyant then I was.
I know its simple for me to say Jess, but try to create some harmony with your dad, offer to do him dinner if he will come over to your place and help to fix things, ok, hes n ot my dad and I have never met him, but I have always tried to look for the good in family relations and I did not always get along with my dad during his life, since his passing we have reconciled are differences and acknowledged there were mistakes on both sides, as Amy has said once to me, in any relationship effective communication is the secret, I have a degree in communication, but she is infinitely better at the softer skills side then I am, perhaps she should talk to your dad?
It is almost christmas, I say this to everyone, if you cannot find joy, then may you find peace, ware there is argument reason, bitterness forgiveness, discord harmony, grief acceptance, hatred love, despair hope, fear courage, and darkness light.
Blessings to all of you, and let us hope, for a better year ahead as we rebuild our lives.
Timxx
Thanks Laura, yes he will be happy to be off for a couple of weeks.
Hope everyone is okay tonight and tomorrow and over the coming days. I’ve been quite emotional and having dreams about my mum. Going to try and enjoy the next few days though and speak to yous later, merry Christmas when it comes and look after yourselves x
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Hope you find some peace as Tim says .
Love to all xx
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Thank you, it’s been a nice day but it feels a bit empty too. I’ve enjoyed seeing my daughter being so excited though. I hope everyone has managed alright. My mum used to get me the best presents, my boyfriend really pulled it out the bag this year and spoiled me after we agreed not to buy too much for each other. He got me a nice locket and told me to put a picture of my daughter in one side and a picture of my mum in the other
Amy x
That’s a lovely gift . Yes it all feels a
Bit flat and strange to me .
I’ll be glad when it’s all over to be honest .
Xx
I’ve been hating Christmas ever since I lost my mum. It’s not the same without her and watching other people celebrating Christmas annoys me a lot because it’s ok for them they have probably still got their mums in their life’s so I try to make the best of a day id rather didn’t happen. Wouldn’t it be great if we could ban Christmas Day once every other year. Permanent would be better
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Hi Laura, making the best of it for your children I suppose,as you say it is not the same, and sadly never will be.
Went with sis in law to see Niece and her family, it occured to me I am literally the only person to greave my mum, (sign of getting old when ALL your primary family are gone, and one feels ‘left behind’ so to speak) and I find my self a slightly distant relation and the ‘old man’ of the family, and in that sense I am different to everyone else on this site, I might go somewhere next year were I can get away from christmas altogether, its for children, over rated, and far too commercialised, it was good of my Niece to invite me, and it was a good meal, but I was not really comfortable and not sure I will go next year, we shall see.(Sorry to sound like Ebereneasa, but he was not greaving, just a humbug)
On a more positive note tacking up a new hobby, jewelry making, I want something I can do from home in my own time that will give me a whole new outlook on life, part of reinventing myself and moving on.
Hoping next year will be better for all of us and your allotment blooms.
Blessings to all.
Timxx
I know just ware you are coming from and christmas day was ok in some ways but I felt a little arcrud in others and I am not sure I want to spend christmas day that way again and in some way I felt like ‘the arcrad relative’ who is there as an afterthought, don’t get me wrong, it was good of my Niece to invite me, but I definitely felt a little arcrud, my first time there and like you missing my mum at christmas probably, at least I was not alone and Niece made a good christmas dinner, forb most of us are mums have gone, but they walk in spirit with us every day.
Plenty of jobs to do around the house to keep me busy, I have to repair the attic latch and finish off fitting a bath in the bathroom, also the snug I am building in the lounge.
I hope you were not alone on christmas day, that is not nice.
Blessings to you, hope next year is better for all of us.
Tim