How are you doing Tim ? Do you have Ruby back ?
Hello Laura.
I have Ruby this week until friday, sorry did not reply earlier, I had an early night.
Still working on my smug, its getting better all the time, intend to reposition the light at the week end.
I hope you are not being left with everything to do today so you can concentrate on looking after yourself and your mum.
In my mums case we had tea and biscuits for everyone in the church followed by a pre arranged lunch at a local hotel, my main focus being just setting up the photographs, flowers, candles, casket, and seeing to the service sheets and delivering the Eulogy (I more or less ran the service my self which is very unusual) and of course packing up afterwards, but I was flat out and slept for 12 hours when done and dusted, I was still recovering from a stay in hospital with cellulitis, I think I did ok considering.
Just remember your ant is know one of your spirit guides.
Blessings to you and all your family Laura.
Tim xx
Hey everyone
Sorry I’ve not been active in a bit, going through a lot right now. Once I’m feeling a bit more myself I’ll get back on. Just wanted to let yous know I’ve not disappeared!
Hope yous are all doing well
Amy xxx
Hello everyone, I honestly don’t understand what’s going on. I’ve just found out that my partners Grandma passed away last night. So just short of a year we have lost his Grandad, my Mum, and now his Grandma, how do you even cope with all of this? I so his Grandma like my own!
I am even more scared of losing my Grandma now, I don’t understand how we have had these people through all our lives for us to lose them all at once, it’s really scaring me!
I text my manager telling her I won’t be in today for her to tell me that I need to ring in, why are people so insensitive!
Hello Jess, so very very sorry for your further loss.
I have no words to fix this other then to offer my sympathy both to you and your partner.
Laura was at her ants funeral yesterday, in life we are in death.
You might qualify for some bereavement leave of absence, as I understand it Amy got some leave when her mum passed, she can probably advise you better then I can, as far as I understand it she is a part time worker like you and the same regulations should apply, but Amy’s leave might have been discretionary.
I am not going to say on a public forum what my views are regarding your manager, I would be arrested for outraging public decency!!.
Hold close those that are dear to you, for we Know not what may happen in the next minute, never mind the hour, and NEVER LET THE SUN SET ON AN AREGUMENT.
Like wise above for your mums anniversary.
I lost my mother in law, twin brother and mother within 14 months, sometimes life takes a wrecking ball to families, it can be very hard for those of us left behind and with no one on my side of the family left I often feel like I have missed the last train to freedom out of Germany in 1939.
Blessings to you and to your family at this sad time.
Tim xx
I’m just in so much shock and regarding bereavement leave I won’t be entitled to it as she’s not my immediate family unfortunately. My partner is broken and I have never witnessed him like that and it’s breaking my heart.
I think she may have passed due to broken heart as she lost her husband just over a hear ago, she kept telling us she was seeing him and speaking to him, blamed it on her pills but I knew it was more than that and now I think there was a reason she was seeing him!
I was starting to make a little process, a very small amount but this has certainly knocked me back down to sqaure one, it seems like we aren’t allowed to be happy anymore.
My partner said she was fine when he went to see her on Sunday but last night his Mum went round to put her to bed like always but apparently she was refusing to go and wanted to stay up and ended up passing away in her arms, it’s just so sad 
Hello Amy, Thanks for the message.
Be kind to yourself, ask the doctor to call if you are not well and cannot get out.
Not meaning to nag, but it will not be good for Romy to see her mum not well or destressed, that will upset her and we have both been there.
How is your cousin by the way?.
Blessings to all, keep warm, its getting colder again.
Tim xx 
Hi Jess, thats what happened to me, my mum passed in my arms, and take it from me that is NO SMALL THING.
At least in the case of your partners mother she did not have to struggle looking after her for more then a year like I did, and from what you say I think she knew she was passing which is why she refused to go to bed.
I think off Liz the 1st, who for 11 days sat next to her bed refusing to get into it, she knew she would pass if she did, eventually she got into bed and died.
I am convinced my mum knew when she was going to die, I did as well, all the clinical signs were there, the blueish look around the lips, limbs going cold, breathing becoming laboured and a gurgling sound, the eyes turning slitty and not opening.
You may all need help in the coming days, you and your partner should go to his mum, you will probably find her to be more supportive of you, as the queen mother said after Buckingham palace was bombed ‘Know I can look the Eastend in the face’
From what you say she was seeing and speaking to her passed husband, do you believe it know Jess?, we ALL meet up again in the next life and its everyone who we interacted with in this life.
Stay close to your partner and comfort him, he needs you know, he may be down for a long time, if his behaviour changes and he stops taking proper care of himself then call a doctor,same goes for his mum, sorry to say Jess, you need to be the strong one know.
Look after yourself and your partner, when the weather improves and the sun shines encourage him to go out with you for a long walk in the sun with Dobby like you did a few weeks ago, it will do you both a world of good, he needs you to be close to him in every sense.
Deepest sympathy for you and your family at this sad time.
Tim xx
My partners mum was her and her husbands carer so she was taking care of her.
I have felt so weird today, too much has happened all at once for us and I don’t get how we are still standing.
I see the brain fog is back in full force, I had a lot of admiration for his Grandma, in fact I so her as my own Grandma, when ever I got cards and gifts from her she used to sign it from ‘Grandma’
It wasn’t that long ago I was fixing her blinds for her and told her I’d trim her hair soon.
I don’t know what’s going on but it’s scaring me, I’m just thinking who’s next and I don’t want to think that way! I guess it can’t be helped right now
The only comfort is knowing that she is back with her husband another great person!
Oh Amy . Sorry to hear this and we will
Always be here for you xx
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Such sad sad times .
I wish I could say something to help but we all know there is nothing. .are you at work tomorrow ? Xx
No I’m off tomorrow, but back in over the weekend unfortunately. I seem to be really numb this time around and feel as though my head’s about to explode.
I was thinking about you on Wednesday I was meant to reach out to you but my head has been all over the place and now this has happened. It’s like we are living one big nightmare at the moment. I just want to wake up
It’s really hard .
I felt numb when my aunty died . There’s no right or wrong as know . You need to take care of yourself best you can xx
I think I’ve just reached my limit or something i can’t feel anything this is new to me hmm x
Hello Jess, the ‘Brain fog’ is the brains way of helping you cope with this, you are in grief and shock, as your partner is.
How is your partners mum?, she may need help and perhaps should not be on her own, from what you say you can take it from me she has been through a terrible ordeal, this event will have marked her and she may never be the same again.
You need to stay calm, not only for your own sake but for everyone else as well, be thankful for small mercies,unlike my experience her end was quick, and you are not alone in your grief.
Your partner and his mum need you, you need to be brave and dig deep into your soul, and I know what that takes and you are facing the most testing time of your life.
You need to be the strong one now Jess, you need to look to the hero inside yourself, to step up to the plate and hold your family together.
Suggest to your partner he joins Sur Ryder like you did.
Blessings to all of you, and deepest sympathy.
Tim xx
Hi Laura.
There is no end to it, I hope you and your mum are going to be ok, its so relentless
and one does not know who will be next.
We are all suffering in our own way, and no words can fix it, and to quote that line from Shakespeare ‘Sire, when there are no words, pray the silence be allowed to speak’ (King Lear I think)
The not knowing is the worst thing, might be my sis-in-law next, or me, I am much older then anyone else and more likely to cop it, if its me I don’t think it would bother me to much and I would be quickly forgotten, not even a footnote in history, as grains of sand on a beach.
Look after yourself and your mum.
Blessings to all.
Tim xx
Well we wouldn’t forget you Tim !
You are right it is relentless. I look around and my friends seem to be going through life with no sadness that we carry around with us .
I’m sure they do ,You never really know do you .
Nice and sunny here today so will try and get out to the allotment or garden .
How are things with you all - @Jess1 how are you doing today ?
I took this on Wednesday after my auntys funeral - it had rained and rained all day till this .
Xx
Hello Laura and how are you and your family today?.
I will not forget you Laura, nor the others.
Lovely picture of the sunset, thankyou very much, showing the sun braking through the clouds at, in more ways then one for you, the end of the day, and the promise of something better to come, I love the way you have framed it with the tree.
Sun is shining today, but cold out and going colder.
Ruby going home tonight and having tea with sis-in-law, not walked her yet, she is sleeping quietly, so ‘Let sleeping dogs lie’ and she does not like being out in the cold and sleeps under the blankets with sis-in-law as she does with me, I spoil her rotten, a sort of surrogate grand child!!.
Hope you find calmness and relief on the allotment, they say you are nearer to God in the garden then anywhere else, its a strange thing to say, but as one gets older and everyone vanishes from around one like the disappearing ochraster one appreciates the soothing effect of nature, and these things become important.
Spent part of the day doing more work on the snug, finished a section of wall and replaced a display cabinet… in its final location, it will not be moved until I depart the earth plane and secondary family members carve up the house.(as they will, but it will not be my worry, no primary members left)
Enjoy your weekend Laura, you and your family should get away some ware for a brake, you and your mum probably need it.
Blessings to everyone.
Tim xx
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Hi we are ok over here . Carrying on as best we can. .
It’s very cold today Ruby I had a long lie in - I needed it .
I hope you have a peaceful weekend x
Hi Laura.
Yes, I was shattered after my mums funeral, I had worked very hard the night before and most of the following day and was not in the best of health, I slept for 12 hours.
It was the first social occasion I had organised and run by my self and a baptism of fire and literally not so much as organised the perverbial in a brury.
Strange thing happened yesterday with Ruby, she just quietly sat and looked at my wall memorial for ten munities, I think I had a visitation and only Ruby could see it, judging by her interest it was my twin, the last time he visited that I know off was the night after his passing, late Sunday the 5th September 2021.
Be kind to yourself and your mum, your whole family is proberbly tired.
Blessings and peace to all of you, I hope you can move on with out more grief, you have had more then your share of that.
Tim x