Sorry for jumping on Amy and Jess , It really tests friendships I have found . I think people either assume you are ok … or the grief we feel makes them uncomfortable. Such a lonely road … think this is why i come on here so much !
Love to you both
X
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I would like to mention that I have made a few friends on this forum who are there for me and I am so grateful that I do have people to talk to that understand. What I’m referring to is friends I’ve been friends with for years who I used to do things with but they’ve surprised me and disappeared 
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Never say sorry on here! We are all here for each other so there’s that x
That’s true . Hope you feel a little better tomorrow. Always here if you need me x
Hey! I’ve been finding that some friends don’t know how to talk to me or what to say. Some didn’t come to my Mum’s service and I found that hurtful. I think we represent fear, something they’re scared of. And I understand that but doesn’t it feel so horrible on this side. I’m thinking I might need to say to these friends that I don’t have the headspace to be reaching out, I need them to be the proactive friend just now. Our worlds have changed, if it were something simple like we were post surgery, or a broken leg then our friends would be there with offers of help. Isn’t it odd how grief is so different.
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Hello Amy, your insight is fantastic and it is extraordinary what young children see, I have no intention of stepping back, I still have a long way to go on this journey and in many ways it is about learning to live all over again, for years I have been living with my mother, know I must learn to live without her and to live for myself and that is much harder when you are in your 60’s, you would not send a sixty three year old soldier to the front line, you would limit them to the home (or nome guard) and coastal defence, and I still have bad days and just because I am ok today does not mean to say I will be ok tomorrow, and a real bereavement can feel like a series illness and I have a form of ptsd from my experience and that means at times I get very tired and very low and my bad foot does not help matters, some infection got into the bone and that takes a very long time to heal so no, I am not throwing in the towel just yet, we all can still learn from each other and we all have a long way to go so I will be around for the foreseeable future, that is if you would like me to be, on an aside note, I do think it rather sad that so many people end up in a paper bag at the back of the bottom of a wardrobe, it is much more respectful to either scatter the ashes or have them decently mounted in a casket, (as you know I chose the later) this is her house and as long as I live hear there will always be a place for her in it, if only her ashes, good that you and your dad are going for walks together, I know you get real winters up in scotland so you are probably pretty tough, often down to minus 15 in the kayangornes in mid winter and the A9 is regularly blocked with snow, mother and myself used to spend christmas at the highlander hotel
about 50 minutes drive south from Inverness, those days gone forever, last time we were there was 2016, happy days and happy memories and at the end of the day that is all we have of our loved ones in this life and is why memories are so prechase, I have been sorting through old paper work and found a lovely photograph today of my old family home at lakeside so I am going to frame it, on Thursday I see my lawyer regarding probate, or should I say the application for it and it will be just me there with the lawyer and no one else, sometimes it feels like the day after the day after, I will feel more settled when all this probate business is finished and that will bring a form of closure,life and death is a real trile for us all, but as it says in the bible, in life we are in death, and death is as much a part of life as birth, and at the end we all meet up again,now about clairvoyants, mediums and spiritualist, make sure you go to someone reputable, the best ones have an international reputation and people come from all over the world to hear them, they have usually been in the industry for many years and have hard built reputations, the best ones usually ‘cut there teeth’ so to speak in spiritualist churches were they give readings for free(as often as not these places in winter are freezing and they don’t even get travel expenses) and you can be sure that they are genurin if they put themselves out for others like that and is how my clervoyant started working, there is no regulatory authority for clairvoyants and mediums,(might have told you this before) I have only used one once, but before I went my Niece checked out here credentials and we quickly realised she was one of the very best in the business but ware she works in England while North of Liverpool is still a long way from Scotland but people have come from as far away as Japan, there will be clairvoyants in Scotland, there was a clairvoyant in England who suddenly realised she had a murderer in front of her(the cards told her this) she had to keep him talking for several hours until her assistant persuaded the police to come and take him away, he is know in prison for murder, I think she deserves a medal for doing such meaningful work and for being so brave, the proper ones really do put them selves on the line and are the bravest and most genuine people you will ever meet, listen to your intuition, most clairvoyants are women
and will naturally communicate with other women and that will help you to quickly form a judgement and if you feel comfortable with your clairvoyant then you are probably in safe hands, there is nothing to fear, no saonce and no funny boards, it helps them if you dont give them to much information, the spirit of your mother is with you, when you go to a medium or clairvoyant they can tap into the spirit and get names, anniversaries, dates, etc(my clairvoyant among other things told me I had bad knees and she was rite) prepare to be told things you did not know, I know one person on this site has complained about her clairvoyant knowing things she should not know, but that is just the point!!, she might as well tell her lawyer not to use her personal data, in that case the lawyer cannot help her, they do all take a confidentiality oath, and unless you are a danger at large or something then anything you tell them will be in the strictest confidence and go no further.
Hoping you are having better days and you and your dad are looking out for each other.
Love and blessings.
Tim
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Hi Jess, you have good insite if I may say so and researching your proposed medium is a good idea and sometimes you can get feedback from others on line,if you want to talk to them about something specific then you should tell them before the reading starts, but if it is about a passed relative it does not help them if you give them too much information, the spirit of your loved one goes with you, and the medium can tap into that, I have a book about personal psychic development that might interest you, its ‘When spirit calls…you answer’ and is by Brenda Diskin, a very highly qualifide and respected medium , when choosing a medium shop around, find the average price of a reading or consultation, recomendations from people you know, any spiritualist churches in your area?, they have mediums who will often given you a reading for free or a small donation(cover there travel expenses) you chose the service of a medium as you would any other service and if not satisfied with the service you complain or refuse to pay the same as you would in all forms of service, remember, there are piss artist in all forms of life and psychics sadly are no acception, the medium should ask for little/no information,but should ask you what your needs are,in your case it is contact from the other side,they should provide a recording of private readings or a written record of what was said,they should be experienced, reputable,and have good reports from other clients,apparently they should also be insured but how that works I have no idea and I am yet to hear of a medium being sued for malpractice, they operate unlicensed and basically unregulated, i would like to see that changed, there should be enforced registration with a generale media and clairvoyant authority to keep standards high and stop the charlatan’s, you can always ask them about a living relative,if they are jenurin they will know they have not passed, the downside is trust works both ways and if the medium feels she (usually a lady) is not trusted then it will probably have an adverse effect on the reading, any medium who has a sign displaying ‘for entertainment purposes only’ and ask you to sign a disclaimer is almost certainly a charlatan and should be avoided at all cost, a genuine medium would never do that, you are paying for a service, not to be entertained, usually when people go to mediums they have had tragedy, are traumatised, vulnerable and upset and entertainment is the last thing you want when you are seeking answers and closure, if people come from all over the world to see your medium and they have done it for many years then you can be sure they are the genuine article, they are not the cheapest, but it is cheaper to go to one proper medium then 100 charlatans, there are good mediums in spiritualist churches and sometimes do it for free, might be worth trying that, think about that.
goodluck Tim
I go to my local spiritualist church and I have mixed feelings about it. Some are okay and some are really not that great.
The not so good ones say the most generic things that could resonate with at least a few people in the room. “I have someone here who had heart problems”. “they’re giving me a name that begins with M” . (do spirit turn around and say to the medium “I know what to tell my family, tell them my name behind with M” 
) it’s just weird to me that!
I actually find myself getting annoyed by people who claim what the medium is saying before they say anything unique. I wish they wouldn’t be so naive and would wait for more specific evidence.
I am yet to recieve a message at the church and I’ve been going for a while now. It does break me when I don’t get a message though but I don’t want one from a medium that’s clearly doing guess work anyway.
At the moment I am reading “Survival of the Soul” by Lisa Williams. A famous medium who was born in England and now lives in the US. I’ve just reached the point where she talks about the “silver cord” that joins our soul to our body. And how we often stray from our body during our unconsciousness at night. She also mentions that the spirits are always around us, usually no further than about 3ft from us. I am just fascinated by it all.
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Hi, I must say the night after my mothers passing I was awaken with a start in the early hours(I think she slapped my face!!, I can only think she was unhappy at the state of the house and while I had been putting all my energy into caring for her leaving me exhausted with a form of ptsd, I could not blame her and my mother was certainly in the room and moving around rather briskly (as she did before she was ill)and she left the room via the door, she did not come to me after that until I went to my clairvoyant, and after that I regularly ‘hear’ her voice in the back of my mind reminding me about some things and advising me on others, she is watching over me and I am quite happy with that, I only work with the best when I have a choice, my clairvoyant is one one the best in the world and has international standing, that, is very important.
regards
Tim
Tim
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Jess, listen to your intuition, if you feel up happy about the spiritualist church get out of it!!, do NOT SUFFER FOOLS
AND FALSE PROPHITS GLADLY, life is to short, what you need to do is find a genurin clairvoyant/medium and go to them, sometimes you can get feedback on there websites to help you find a good one,but it can be hard so do some research on the internet and read up what you can about them in google etc before you even contact them, give them the minimum of information and if you feel at all uncomfortable talking to them on the phone or face to face leave, as I have said, the industry has its fair share of piss artist just like any other and in seeking a private consultation/reading you are paying for a service, not a go on the death wide in Blackpool, if you are unhappy, refuse to pay and leave, be strong,the charlatans need getting rid off, I would like to see proper regulation/ licencing/ of clairvoyants/mediums, they can do a lot of damage to venerable people, the genurin ones are excellent, the poor ones need to be avoided at all cost and what you are telling me makes me very concerned your association with your spiritualist church may be causing you lasting psychological harm, that is why I say listen to your intuition, it is like a relationship, if it does not feal write for you then it is not write and you should leave it, you have to be strong, if I had a daughter I would give her the same advise I am giving you.
Love and blessings
Tim
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I have heard of someone and by all accounts she is one of the genurin mediums and really knows her craft, nothing hocus pocus about her work, its worthy of scientific study and should be treated as such, I would like to read this book, it sounds fascinating,I had an incredible dream of my mother shortly after she past, she was happy, well and active and smilling at me like a cheshire cat, I remember telling her she looked a lot better then when I last saw her (dead in my arms the moments after her heart stopped as she gasped for breath like a lung fish)DNR in place, I was under strict instructions NOT to attempt CPR, may be it was not a dream and its funny how I remember saying ‘You look a lot better then the last time I saw you’ clearly remembering the moment off her passing, please give me your opinion, may be it was not a dream after all, and that I had travelled across to her, if only for a short time, she seemed to be in a good place, it was well lit, warm and dry.
Your point of view please.
Tim
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Just ordered that book
Tim
I have already mentioned that I have been to very good mediums.
I was referring to the spiritualist church, it’s only a 2 pound anyway. There’s only a few mediums I’ve seen that made me believe that they were actually connecting but sadly I wasn’t chosen for a reading.
I swing from believing then disbelieving all the time though. I can’t help having doubts although I’ve had a lot of unexplained things happen.
I’m going to continue attending the open circle and hopefully I’ll develop enough to never doubt these things again.
Just at the moment I have more questions than answers. I wish I could know for sure that my mum is still out there watching over me. If there is such a thing I often wonder why we even try and find out all this information.
I know something though and that’s someone’s essence can’t just vanish like that.
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Jess, the reason we do it is because we are looking for explanations and answers to paranormal events most of us have experienced that are apparently connected with are departed loved ones, if you feel comfortable with the circle and not intimidated then by all means continue and if you form meaningful friendships doing it all well and good,but do not expect quick results, what you are doing sounds to me the training people go through to become mediums, the good ones have worked very hard at it for many years and have excellent communication and people skills and are in addition very caring people as well,my clairvoyant had a dreadful experience with a medium when she was young who told her her younger brother would die soon(he did) but no proper medium passes on such bad news that the client can do nothing about, that is cruel, having questions about one’s subject is part of the learning process, so is having doubts as well, do not let this discourage you, try to get into the zone with your sessions, be open minded but not empty minded and try to be in a calm,relaxed frame of mind before you go, if you feel stressed or unhappy then come out of it, you also need to ask yourself what you want from each session, is it personal development/fulfilment, connecting with others,oviusly you want to know if your mother is still with you, let me suggest to you a book,‘Survival of the Soul’ by
Lisa Williams, Lisa is British and a leading clairvoyant/medium, i have just ordered the book myself and will give you my view on it in after i have read it.
regards
Tim
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Happy Reading! You’ll have to let me know what you think. I’m about half-way through. xx
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Hi, I will do that, like to start an on line book club with me and are other members interested?.
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Maybe - What sort of books ?
books on coping with bereavement like ‘You are not alone’ or ‘Climbing out of depression’ or ‘Survival of the Soul’ a lot of people with bereavement suffer for a while with there health and in my case it was exhaustion depression and ptsd and after what I have gone through my mother probably not surprising, some of us are also looking for answers to paranormal events that appear to be connected with the passing of our loved ones, so if you would like to read one of those books or other titles we can compare points of view as we read them, would that interest you or any other members?, it is just that collectively we might get more from them.
Hope you are enjoying your evening and had a better.
Tim
I am reading “You are not alone “ now , I enjoy reading too so I would be interested . Thank you