Hello Universal, when you loose someone close like your mother(I lost mine in january, she died in my arms) it makes you realise what is important and what is not, and the silly little things in our lives that are meaningless and futile do not matter, life is prechas, I am sure your mum is watching over you, its almost ten months for me but I still think of her every day and her ashes are in a casket in the lounge under a lovely photograph of her taken at her silver wedding do, and that is how I will remember her.
Hi Laura, reading a new book and recommend it, ‘The survival of the soul’ by Lisa Williams, an attempt to bring a scientific approach to paranormal events connected with life, death and the afterlife, they may be on the edge of a breakthrough, I suspect it is also connected with the nature of time, space, parallel universes and matter/antimatter and the research being done with the hadron collider may give clues as to the nature of it.I suspect Bolsons constant is a key part of it, they have proved Bolsons constant exist, but they still need to learn the nature of Boilsons constant they understand that when a train moves the wheels go round and round, but they do not know if this is cause or effect.
Hope you are having a better day.
Love and blessings
Thanks for your kind words, I am sure your mum is proud of you too, reach out if you feel the need to talk, we persevere together, grief can be a crippling thing, I was very ill to start with at the time and almost stayed in my sleeping bag and gave up.
Keep your pecker up
Tim
ps: anyone heard anything from Ame?, its a few days now
I get you, I can’t be bothered listening to anyone complain about their problems right now either. What we’ve gone through really puts it all into perspective. Hope you’re okay today. I didn’t check on here for a couple days, had my first day back to work yesterday. Definitely not as overly concerned about work as I used to be either or any small problems in my life.
Been writing in the journal I got to my mum and I think it’s helping, nice having it there and being able to write to her even if she can’t read it
Amy x
Hi Tim sorry I haven’t replied for a few days been distracted with getting back to work and trying to get to sleep earlier but thankfully they’ve told me to work from home on my Friday shift so don’t have to think about going in again til next week. Office work is great I suppose it suits certain people I never had massive ambition career wise and just wanted something that had good hours and it fits the bill for me! I also find the housing side of my work interesting I like learning about the legislation around private housing and renters rights
So in that experience I was roughly age 7 or 8, I awoke in the middle of the night to the toys up at the ceiling and then all of a sudden they fell all around the room, safe to say I didn’t sleep in there again for a long time after! I’ve had other odd experiences and all in that room, which is now my daughters room as I’m in the house I grew up in.
You’re right my friend can’t understand how I feel as she’s not been through it and it’s not her fault, it’s a blessing not to understand and I wish I could go back to not knowing this feeling anymore it is sad to think we will know this feeling for the rest of our lives. However I remain hopeful that over the years I see the good and celebrate seeing my own daughter grow up and realise she will too mourn me someday and I have to try and live in the moment create good memories while im are here. It’s also safe to say my friends will experience this someday we don’t get to avoid it we all lose someone we love in our lives. The pain isn’t reserved for a few of us it will affect everyone in their lifetime. It even affected our mothers, they lost their parents and still managed to make our lives great so we too will be able to have nice times again.
I hope you also had a nice weekend Tim and a nice week ahead. Amy x
Hi Laura I found it a bit daunting leading up to it I had been off for 5 weeks and every day for 7 weeks before I’d been going in feeling sick to my stomach thinking about my mum and taking my lunch break at the visiting hours to call and speak to her or get an update. All of that’s gone now so I was nervous to go back and even be reminded of it. But I was okay, my work do hybrid working some work from home and some in office so it was quite quiet not too many people in, spoke to a few of my colleagues some who’ve been through it too. And after lunch I took myself into one of their small rooms they have free for people to do lone working and just had some time on my own. Was over before I knew it.
If you work full time I’d definitely agree a phased return is better than going back all at once. I only do part time work but doing more from home at the moment
Amy x
That’s good . I do 32 hours a week so it’s a fair bit compared to nothing for 3 months . I have my Mum to look after now my Dad has gone I can’t have her being lonely and alone all day everyday . I also have a 12 year old . He keeps me busy .
Good to hear from you , nice to have a little community here .
Laura x
Yeah that is quite alot of hours, do you think you’d consider cutting down your hours or would you work allow you to do that? I can only speak for myself but 16 hours compared to my previous 35 is a dream but obviously the money is alot less. And I lose out on potential promotions, but we do what we think is right and I’m glad I cut down as now my mum is gone like you not wanting your mum to feel lonely, I don’t want my dad to either and I get alot of time with him. Hopefully they even let you do the phase return for some time and not just a couple of weeks as it’s still fresh and with Christmas and new years coming up it’s going to be a hard time, good to be around each other just now for support
Me too it’s nice having a community on here I never realised how many replies I would get when I first posted and I am so glad I wrote my post and reached out this has really helped me
Amy x
Hi Amy, hope you are ok, I was a bit worried about you, it is still very early days so don’t worry about anything for know but concentrate on your own health, your daughter and your father, he needs you too and you need to be strong for both of them, I hope you are eating better and resting better, yes, the feeling of emptiness and loss does not go away, but with time we get used to it and as you said we all loose people we love as our parents did, my mother lost both parents within 3 months in 1974, I went through the death of my grand mother from cancer during the summer holiday and I sore and experienced things that no 14 year old should and it was a family friend who told me my grand mother was terminally ill and that was my first direct experience of death, my grand father died early december, neither myself nor my twin brother were told until we were together at the start of the christmas holidays (we were both away at boarding school) the things that happened to you in your bedroom as a child sound disturbing, I think you were very lucky, watch out that it does not make a move on your daughter, priest have a good reputation for moving on disturbed spirits in the event of any problems so do not hesitate to ask for help if needed. try to be kind to yourself and dont be hard on yourself, you are not going to get over this quickly, unlike the common cold it is a life changing event and there is a lot to process, try to make sure you get enough sleep at night, its important that you keep day to day things as normal as possible, it is sad you did not have more years with your mother to make more happy memories and that is very cruel and I was so lucky to have my mother for so long, but we both miss our mothers just as much, there is no one know to share a cup of tea with me, simple things like that make such a difference, but at least you are not alone and have purpose to your life, when ever you feel low, think of your daughter, you are her world.
blessings to you and your family
Timxx
How was it going back to work? I’m still signed off for another couple of weeks. My GP signed me off when Mum was admitted the 5th time in 4 weeks coz she thought it was best, she was right coz I could spend more time in hospital with Mum. Then she continued the sick line. Honestly, I’m not despo to go back and I used to love my job.
I reckon your Mum can see what you’re writing coz it is to her, it’s not like it’s your diary, it’s notes to her. Probably why it’s giving you strength to do coz she’s there with you.
32 hours is a lot to go straight back to, can you get a phased return? That’s part of my sick line is a phased return. I work 37 but in reality it’s usually over 40. When Mum was in hospital I was working 37 or less, thankfully my manager has been so supportive and topped up my missing flexi with special leave or signed off on my working outside the core working from home hours
I haven’t found it too bad but I am not in every day, I went back 16 hours a week earlier this year after I finished maternity leave. And after this I don’t think I’ll be increasing my hours any time soon. I think a phased return is best and hopefully they can do it for as long as you need it. Definitely stay off until you feel ready to go back. There’s no right or wrong amount of time. I just knew someone in my work who went back after being off only two weeks, and I felt after 5 they would be expecting me back. It wasn’t too bad and focusing on something else for the day was actually good.
And I hope so, I chat to her too we never know if they’re listening. It is odd writing in the journal because a little part of me thinks I’m going to be able to physically show her it at some point. I think it’s okay to try and picture them as waiting for us somewhere that’s what I’m trying to do.
Amy x
Hi @Universal I am going back phased so only a couple of afternoons a week to start, my boss would like me to get back to full time by Christmas . Maybe I will work over Xmas because I am absolutely dreading it .
How are you doing today ?
Xx
Yes that’s what they are hoping . I will
Just when to take it a day at a time .
I didn’t sleep well either and having a really down today . It’s all just so painful .
How are you feeling today ? X
x