I’ve been feeling especially low for a few days now,I think you’ll be familiar with the heavy brick feeling in your chest and the aching weight in the pit of your stomach,well I just had to drag myself to the local shop to get a few bits and standing in my fog at the counter heard the assistant say to me’are you having a good day?’It absolutely floored me,it’s not her fault she was only being friendly but I think it was the contrast between my life (and all of yours) and what I have forgotten is people’s normal lives,and what is a simple throw away comment to most people can be so painful to us.Do you think we will become hardened to it?It makes me feel like hiding away from the world even more than I already do.My trip was mainly to get cat food but glad I bought wine now! as I feel even worse.Thinking of you all,love Corinna xx
hi corinna no i dont think we will ever harden up to it xx we loves the most perfect men (ladies)in the world and we were loved by the most petfect men (ladies) in the world we can never get over or harden ip to the loss we feel and that has been forced up on us we didnt have a choice we couldnt control want happened to our loved ones x i had a letter on friday that litetally broke me in two it was from the motor neurone disease association saying they were sorry for my loss but hope that i will continue the membetship to help others i just screamed and completely lost it then my next letter was from the air ambulance saying thank you for the donation in memory of Darrell i just couldnt take anymore x love jo
How’s today been for you? and everyone xx
hi Corinna noisy when out Granddaughters came for lunch hows the wine xx love jo
Glad you’ve had family round,wine numbed the pain temporarily!I pestered my sister in the middle of the night last when I was hysterical,loads of love xx
i know what you mean about it nimbing the pain ive drnk more since Darrell passed away bever really drank before normally start about 5 while im making my sons dinner and carry on untill i go to bed dont know what else to do xx take care of yourself xxx love jo xx
Me too,I know it’s not right but I don’t really care,loads of love,nos dda(that’s good night in Welsh!)xxSee what tomorrow brings xx
Jo, Corrina, please, please stop the drinking. Alcohol is a depressant and any relief it might give you will only be a very temporary thing and you will probably feel ten times worse later. I know the pain is more than we can bear but alcohol isn’t the answer…
Corrina I know what you mean about this stupid saying about having a good day. Just after Brian died i was in a shop and like you in a complete fog. I was told to have a good day and as I was on the verge of tears already couldn’t stand it. To which a woman standing there told me not to be so miserable and went on to tell me about her medical problems. I think the look on my face told her to shut up. I came very close to punching her.I know it wasn’t her fault but she really did say the wrong things. I’ve also considered becoming a complete recluse and if I didn’t have the dogs I might be able to do it. Will we become hardened to it. I doubt it, but it would be nice to think there is something better than what we have now. Take care xxx Pat
Hi both it’s coming up to a year since Glyn died. I wish I could say time heals but it doesn’t but it coes get that you learn to live with what’s happened. I am now able to say his name without crying but that doesn’t mean I dont miss him and still hurt but I’m sure your husbands wouldn’t want you to feel this way I know Glyn would be telling me to pull myself together we will be together one day but living means I will be able to tell him all about the funny things the grandchildren have done or said we as the widows have family who still need us and our husbands would want us to continue with life xx
Pat dont worry ive ran out of the wine and malibu so on the coffee now xx take care love jo x
im sorry to hear about your Glyn thank you for your message i talk to my Darrell all the and tell him what our Granddaughters are doing and at night both of our granddaughters go to the window and say nite nite gangan i love you to the moon and stars and back its so soul destroying not having him here to talk to and hold xxx
I thought I would feel better with the clock change but I feel worse. It’s reminding me of all the walks, impromptu picnics and BBQs we had. Seven months in and what I’ve realised is this: I’m still focussed on getting through the day/week I’m not even beginning to deal with my loss. My life is very different and if it were not for my daughters I would sink into oblivion. I am RG in #afterlife - nowhere near moving to episode 3. Ps without sucidal or substance dependence thoughts. I am seriously wondering how long I can “keep polite!”
hi jeanette and caroline hope you are ok xx love jo
Peaceful thoughts everyone,see how we go through another night,much love to you all,Corinna xx
hi corinna a few glasses of wine will get us through another restless crap night xx take care sending love jo xxxx
My glasses of wine got me through till now,my little cat is wanting cuddles so he will get me through the next few hours.Loads of love Corinna xx
hi Corinna thanks for your message another night of hardly any sleep its 5.20 am wide awake this is ridiculous xx take care love jo
Do you manage to get any rest during the day? xx
hi Corinna no i dont i try and jeep busy by doing stuff at home xxx do you xx had a realy rough night got up a 5 feel really sickly xx sorry for delay battery had died in me xx love jo
Look after yourself,hope your not coming down with something,but it’s probably all part of the grief it seems to come with a multitude of physical symptoms too doesn’t it.I’m exhausted and jittery but better than the last few days after a much needed counselling session yesterday.I have to go to work now.Hope your day is bearable Jo and everyone.Much love all,Corinna xx