My son had secondary bone cancer with primary not found . He did have learning disability, but he was so mobile going everywhere on his own. Complained of pain in his hip etc, went to hospital they said muscle use deep heat .tried to get physio told 3 months waiting list. The Gp phoned me up said can I get another blood test as his liver function was elevated . I got it booked for 25th April 2023, that morning he was in so much pain he could not get out of bed, got him to hospital. They said he had mass on his hip ,ribs and spine could not find primary . He died 17th July 2023 3 months .He died on a Monday, they were going to do radiation the next day. He was 47 , I do wonder about the COVID vaccinations.
@Hazel.1966
Itâs a difficult one to answer. As you will have seen from my earlier posts to @Nori, my husbandâs kidney cancer was diagnosed because it had travelled to his pelvic bone and was painful. The CT scan found this secondary tumour and the MRI found the tumour in his kidney. Your husbandâs kidney cancer may have been a different type which affected both kidneys.
Diagnosed early enough, as we know, it can be treated. Itâs possible to live with one kidney, I know two people who were born with only one. The trouble is there arenât any early symptoms.
I know, we turn everything over and over in our minds. I have read so much about kidney, bone and prostate cancers, obviously not understanding most of it, but wondering should we have spotted something years ago.
At the end of the day, it wonât bring them back. I will never forget my husbandâs suffering towards the end of his life and all the âifsâ and âshould I haveâ wonât disappear.
I hope we find peace about it eventually.
My son they said all so rare.His age, if it was from the Gastric, or pancreas it very rarely spread to the bone , not being able to find primary and how fast it spread .
@Rome18 thank you for your reply⌠and so sorry that you have lost your husband and saw him suffer. Life is so unfair and cruel. A rear saddle pulmonary embolism killed my husband which the doctor thought maybe cause by the kidney cancer as kidney cancer can cause thick blood. He did lose some weight which I never noticed until I look back at the pictures and he was tired more but was working hard and had a bad back but always did as a joiner/carpenter. Got him down the doctorâs 3 weeks before he died but too late. Just feel so guilty that I couldnât save him. I know it will never bring him back but so hard to accept Xx
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@Hazel.1966
I am sure you did everything you could and you got him to the Dr. As you say, he was working hard, he had a very physical job, so would feel tired and weight can fluctuate anyway.
I know that anything anyone says wonât make you feel you could have done more but, truly you could not have saved him.
The prostrate cancer caused my husbandâs death in the end although I know the tumour on his pelvic bone would have caused it eventually. The point is, the prostrate caused so much suffering, with the endless side effects and I blame myself for not making sure he was being checked, although he was having regular MRIs so the consultant should have picked it up.
I have been told that itâs my grief which is causing the guilt, probably true of all of us.
We are on a nightmare journey.
Sending best wishes.
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The cancer went from the bone into my sons bone marrow, his blood counts went mad., He bled inside everywhere ,I had to ask funeral directors to cover all the bruises
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@Pest
I am so very sorry to hear how your son suffered and of course the rest of your family. To see your son suffer so much was heartbreaking for you. The symptoms that cancer causes is horrific. I shall never forget seeing my once fit husband look so awful.
@Rome18 my husband had just started a new job and had a few appointments. He had a CT scan on the Thursday and I tried to change it to the Tuesday as he was at the liver clinic but none available so was offered appointment for the Sunday. He never made it as died before the appointment. I didnât realise that it was an urgent referral. I wish I never interfered and wonder if they would have seen blood clot before it turned into a big pulmonary embolism. Sorry to keep bothering you xx
@Hazel.1966
You arenât bothering me.
The hospital would, or should, have known if it was urgent and told you.
I know from my friendâs husbandâs case, his pulmonary embolism came on in the early hours of the morning. he felt very poorly and deteriorated, and my friend rang for an ambulance and he he passed away in hospital within three hours.
I personally donât think that delaying the scan made any difference, you canât blame yourself. I know you probably canât accept it but I hope you can in time. Iâm trying to stop blaming myself for lots of decisions but it doesnât help. Iâm even blaming myself because he died in a nursing home, deep down I know he had to be there but I still cry about it.
Sending hugs.
@Rome18 thank you so much for your support. It does make sense what you are saying but so hard to accept. I am sorry that you are going through this horrendous journey. It sounds like you did so much for your husband also. They say guilt is a big part of grieving. Thank you again and hope that you are having support of some kindâŚ
Big hugs and take care xx
Morning everyone I was Googling the cancer treatment immunotherapy and wondered if anyone loved ones had this treatment. Iâm intrigued because my husband died suddenly and unexpectedly of a blood clot and undiagnosed kidney cancer stage 4 and I do wonder if he would have had this treatment. I read that it is supposed to add years to your life.
Hi Hazel.1966 - when my husband was first diagnosed he was told chemo followed by immunotherapy. Sadly the chemo did not work for him & made him really poorly. They stopped the chemo, but never mentioned the immunotherapy again - then it was just palliative care. It was during lock down, so I could not go with him to appointments. He only lasted 11 months from diagnosis. I often wonder if he had had the immunotherapy would he have lived longer. Alison.
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@MemoriesOfUs
My wife Nicci died in September 2022, nine months after diagnosis. She had a rare form of cancer. Anal squamous cell carcinoma. Itâs not the same as bowel cancer. Itâs actually normally a type of skin cancer. Anal cancer doesnât tend to metastasize and grows slowly, NORMALLY. However, the cells were poorly differentiated which makes them much harder to treat and they are more likely to break away and spread. On top of that, they are much more aggressive. The cancer didnât respond to treatment. I didnât have a great deal of faith in the Oncologist, but I believe she was right when she said Nicci had just been extremely unlucky.
My son died within 3 months , too soon for him to have any treatment.it was more or less test and care.
We were told the same ,extremely unlucky. But as I said before I am very suspicious of the vaccines. Going though Google ,a lot of the sites are very vague . I did find one that said they found in some people after 8months after vaccines the immune system was very low. Another said when the immune system is low there is not enough good cells to kill the cancer cells? All very strange.it does make me think
@Mike7
Sorry to hear of your loss. Sad commonality of names.
My partners cancer was moderately differentiated.
I was hoping the biopsy would reveal the cancer had high microsatellite instability so immunotherapy would be an option, but it was unfortunately microsatellite stable.
Both anal squamous carcinomas and colorectal adenocarcinomas are usually slow moving cancerâs, although poorly differentiated is more aggressive.
Her cancer was also highly aggressive - which is unusual for colorectal left sided cancer.
Iâve agonized over what could have been done, esp when she had an all clear colonoscopy 20 months earlier. But the tumour was 21cm and had grown at such a rate it was completely necrotic due to the exponential growth outgrowing the blood supply.
I honestly believe that had I managed to get the TARE treatment when the cancer had first spread to her liver, it could have reduced the tumour burden and bought her enough time to the pathway to a liver transplant. Just wasnât quick enough.
Will never know now and have to carry that burden.
Her case was very unusual and abnormal and definitely very unlucky.
Life - just canât make sense of itđ
@warriner21 I am so sorry to read your story. It is sad that your husband wasnât offered immunotherapy drugs. I know what you mean by not going to your husband appointments as I didnât and wish I did as unlike my husband I would be asking lots of questions. Big hugs xx
So sad today.normally my so Christopher would be home today ,having dinner with us .we miss him so much. It was all so sudden, within 3 months ,cancer rid us our wonderful son. There would have been small arguments between him and his father to what they should watch on to. Life is so cruel,we need more research into cancer
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There have been some innovative advancements in cancer research - watched a program other day of a young girl who had a massive inoperable brain tumour which an experimental treatment injected the tumour with a modified polio virus. This proliferated the cancer cells and caused a massive immune response from the body which destroyed cancer. Been in remission for 5 years.
But the old adage holds - thereâs no money in a cure. A drug dealer makes his money on the comeback. Pharmaceutical companies wonât invest in a treatment unless theyâre going to make money.
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Yeah I watched it as she was on high doses of oxycodone. Was on morphine for 10 months and then went over to oxycodone last couple of months as morphine was causing hallucinations at such high doses