Hi all ,
I think it just hits you some days, the realisation of it all, and on the days you feel stronger you sort or carry on and don’t think about they’re never coming back, it’s sort of out of mind and we can carry on, then bam it knocks you down again.
The pain of it all hurts so much I don’t know how we all cope x
1 Like
thats exactly how it is. if only there was some fix for the bad days x
I do too, but I think it will be with us forever x
1 Like
sometimes i think sleep for a few months would help but it wouldn’t because it will still be there when you wake up. loving people does really hurt x
I still don’t sleep well since all this happened, I think I’ve aged about ten years 
x
i think it ages us all. The odd thing is i sleep really well. Me and chip had separate rooms because of some of his illnesses. some nights i would ask him just to come in with me until i fell asleep i always felt safe and slept well. It got to the stage where that barely happened but he knew i slept well sleeping with him there. Since he past away i sleep well. I did ask him if he was there helping me x
My sleep is sparodic aswell it’s awful Andi think that makes it 10 x harder coz I can’t focus at all but sleep what is it 
i go to bed write to chip then i get his ashes and hug them until im tired then i put him on the bedside table say good night and i seem to sleep well. Im sure chips helping me sleep safe and sound. there must be something to it because everyone else i have spoke to have trouble sleeping x
1 Like
Glad your sleeping well, hopefully I will too in time.
It is comforting cuddling them, I’m so glad I’ve got Tim’s ashes here, I couldn’t bare to scatter them, it’ll feel like I’m losing him again x
It does make everything harder, just laying there and waiting for morning it never ends x
1 Like
i had promised chip i would take him to his special place in stow but i feel comfort having him here so im really torn because i dont want to trap him x
1 Like
i felt tired a lot at the beginning which helped me i think it was like i was drained of life
It is hard, hold on to him until you feel ready, doesn’t matter how long that is, Chip will understand x
2 Likes
i hope so i want to do right by him. i dont want him to go and when i do set him free then i wont have him anymore, However i have planned on having a tattoo with some of his ashes so he will always be a part of me and i will take him where ever i go x
2 Likes
That’s a lovely idea, he will always be with you x
2 Likes
i did get a necklace for some ashes but im so scared i will lose it. I will try and do things me and chip planned and he will be with me. first thing is a fish and chip sat on the sea front x
2 Likes
I did think about a necklace, but like you scared of losing it.
It’s nice you’re thinking of doing the things you and chip loved , sounds lovely, fish and chips on seafront, I do want to feel strong and able to do that like you said before, but when I think about it , I feel I can’t, maybe I need to push myself x
1 Like
Oh Karie the ratios with some ashes are amazing I’ve got one with my son’s face n ashes are in it it’s on the front of my leg at the top it covers the top of my leg xxx
1 Like
Tatoos don’t know y it came out jangled up
steph when chip 1st passed i was frightened to go places and see things we did together i realised i would have to go around with my eyes closed. The day i took the tube down for the ashes there was a little polish coffee shop near me and chip once went in. i braved it sat in there on my own with a cuppa yes it hurt and maybe i shouldn’t have gone alone but one down a million to go. i was going to avoid anything we planned for fear of the pain but we planned that fish and chip, just me and him sat on the sea front and i will do it for chip. One day steph you will find the strength and Tim will be right there with you. Have you seen the rings you can get where the ashes are put into the resin they are about 200 quid but they are beautiful x
1 Like