Kate, I was unaware that there were other sites.
Richard
Richard,
There are other sections on this site, where you can read, reply if you need to, they are all listed as we sign in. I have found it very helpful to read these messages, I hope that you will too.
Take care,
MaryL
Hi Richard
There are lots of other threads on the site. If you go to the top of the page and click on “Losing a partner” it will take you to the main index where you can see all the other conversations that are going on that you can join in with.
Hope this helps
Yes I have found the other sites, thank you all.
Richard
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Sorry, perhaps I wasn’t clear. I didn’t mean other sites Richard, but other conversations on this site. x
The other site I found helpful was AFTER TALK especially Dr. NIEMEYERS questions and answers.
Ok, Thank you all.
Richard
Hi there Richard. I think I can say that there are quite a few of us that felt exactly the same as you in the beginning. It is without doubt the hardest thing to cope with and you will be all over the place. At times you might think that you are going quite mad, but your not. That is where reading other’s experiences tells you that you are not alone and what you are feeling is part of grief. What I have learned from the forum is that we all grieve in different ways. I found an old post of mine and was surprised at what I had put. I too didn’t want to carry on in my miserable existence at that time, but as much as I will never forget my husband and cease to love him I am finding a way of accepting that he is no longer with me physically. Today I walked my dogs and I went to clip on their leads and I found a white feather on the side of one of the leads, I have no idea how it got there or what was keeping it there in the wind but I like to think that Brian was making contact. Sorry don’t know what you feel about this sort of thing but for me it gives me comfort and I’m open to anything that will do that.
Never be afraid to open up as we really do understand what pain you are in.
xxx
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I do think at times that I am doing stupid things to try to keep Jean somehow by my side, one thing I can’t even say as people will think that is so ridiculous.
Richard
It’s not ridiculous at all Richard. As Pat says we’re open to anything that gives us comfort. You can say what you like on here without fear of judgement or ridicule. My husband is always with me…xx
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Every night I have Jeans dressing gown on her side of the bed, and that makes feel if she is there with me.
Richard
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I hug my husband’s pillow every night and have made a VISTA calender ( other online calender sites are available! ) with photographs of him so that I see his picture every day of every month. Whatever helps is fine.
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I sleep with pillows all down Clive’s side of the bed so it feels like he’s still there. I even spray them occasionally with his cologne so I can smell him as well.
Seriously, as Patti says, we do whatever we can to get through. Five years ago, if someone told me they were doing some of the things I now find myself doing, I’d have shoved a Valium sandwich down their throat and had them sectioned. It’s only when you talk to people who’ve gone through it that you realise that you’re not mad - the grief makes you do some very weird things.
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Ha, Skywise you have made me laugh out loud. I spray my husband’s deodorant regularly. Oooh the smell, it’s so him. 
In the bathroom I wipe toothpaste all over the towels, splash shaving foam on the mirror and pee on the floor and it’s just like Colin is still here 
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Skywise and MrsColt, these are for you 2.
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you are funny xx
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Sad bit is I just wish he was still here causing havoc, I would never nag him again… actually I probably would 
x
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Its those little ‘camps’ in their favourite spot on the sofa - the beer can, the glasses, the glass, a tea cup, the TV box, the discarded socks, and the squashed cushions - I too would give anything to have the mess and him back. Loved you post about messing up the bathroom… but made me cry as well as smile.
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Colin was terribly messy, clumsy and untidy he once went out wearing a jumper back to front, easy done you may say but it was a v-neck he couldn’t eat/drink anything without it being all down his front 
I was getting memory a cushion and teddy made from his clothes and it was a struggle to find something without a stain on it his catch phrase was ‘Oh sorry about that’ as he broke everything he touched but he was also funny and witty and clever and he was mine 
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