Not strange, I find I am doing some very odd things about the house.
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Oh Richard if your still feeling unwell please ring them again please don’t sit there feeling s### xx
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They only go through it all, and they just tell you the same thing, isolate, doctor wanted me to go for a chest xray, but I said I am not going into a hospital with all that’s going on
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I get that just wish I as nearer I’d go the pharmacy for you get you something the thought of you on your own is horrible were all on our own that’s what makes it 10x harder I hate it all I do is think think n think again doin my own head in it pissed me off xx
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The only thing to take is paracetamol, which I managed to buy online so I am ok
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I’m just going to take some food n Easter eggs to the neighbours got lots of food donated to work n 400 Easter eggs so quick knock on the door n leg it xx
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just seems like im in limbo im hurting bad today
H Karie sending you a big hug n lots of positivity aw how you feel a little bit better tomoz xx
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hope so i think this is one of my worst days so far i need him so much x
I am glad my doctor didn’t share this belief, if he had, I would be dead by now. 
Hi Karie, Couldn’t get back online tonight, maybe everyone on the internet, I was promised that someone was going to phone me tonight to take a shopping list so that I don’t have to go out to the shops, this is the fourth night in a row that I have been told this, needless to say nobody has phoned, so it looks like I will have to go shopping tomorrow when I don’t think I should, haven’t any choice unless I want to starve, what a position to be put in, what would you do, been talking to Jean tonight like I always do about things, and it has just made feel even worse, my Jean always guided me and I don’t know what to do, I am so lost without her, only makes me think that I am going to have such a lonely life without her, and I am going to be like this forever.
Morning Richard how bad is that ring them back up explain again your situation they have to do something if it was me I would report them as this is the 4th time. Richard you won’t feel like you do forever we just learn to live with it. Try remember all the lovely fun things you done together it is hard it’s so cruel mine is 4 weeks on 17th April and 3 years since I lost my child the only comfort I can take is that my son was waiting for him and there both together again. I need my partner here to help me as all decisions I’m making myself can’t share my feelings love and opinion with him anymore. We won’t be lonely I’m not letting myself be lonely I can’t it would finish me off if I did big hugs xx
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I will never go back to the places we went on holiday I can’t I’d feel guilty and I’d be looking for him too painful. Today I don’t have anything to do around the house I’ve done everything possible and more I’m driving myself up the wall and round the bend. Not seeing my family is torture all I want is a great big hug off them me being on my own n grieving not a good combination my mind works overtime xx
Oh Alex, so sorry you’ve lost your son aswell, how do you find the strength, it’s good to keep busy but impossible right now. Life is so bloody cruel , what have we all done to deserve this.
At least we’ve all found friends on here to help each other in our darkest times , we’re all suffering and need each other on this site as others don’t understand.
Big hugs
Steph x
Hi Richard, Alex is right you should complain it’s so bad , especially being on your own. It is hard when we have to make decisions on our own, and wonder if we’re doing the right things. Your Jean will always be with you forever, like Tim is with me.
Hope you have a better day today
Steph x
Hi Karie, hope you ok, everything’s so hard
Thinking of you x
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Morning Steph it’s hard but I have learnt to live with it he was my baby he passed with SADS like cot death but in adults. Me and my other 2 boys talk about him all the time I had bereavement counselling which was the best thing I ever done as I was angry at him for leaving me angry at me asking myself over n over again could I have saved him but speaking about it with my counsellor I began to realise and take on board that what I was feeling was normal he was 25 xxx
So sorry Alex, so heartbreaking. Especially when there’s no real explanation. Glad the counselling helped and it’s good to talk about him with your boys. Do your sons live close to you? Must be so hard for them too
You’re very strong, I admire you for being able to go to work and to help others on here
Love to you x
Aw Steph no we don’t live close by it’s killing me keep telling them in need some grandchildren now I’m only 50 but need a house to make memories with my grandchildren (if I get any) my kids think I’m bonkers and say mum go live your life when your ready I said I will when I get a grandchild haaaa xx
I know what you mean about grandkids, I got three little ones all under three, they are my world. I was lucky , I was 49 when the first one came along and 51 now, it’s lovely being a youngish nan lol, hopefully it won’t be too long for you to wait x