Very funny, been having a bad day,
You’ve made me laugh, lovely funny memories,
Steph x
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Gary was like that too - he once went out with odd boots on, He was in a band at the time and wore tan cowboy boots. They even had a different height heel - I wondered why he was limping and the singer could not carry on for laughing when he noticed. Accident prone too … but that is a whole heap of other stories. Gary was so funny too - God I miss him so much xx
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Glad I made you laugh Steph, we need our sense of humour to get through this 
x
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Sounds like Colin and Gary were cut from the same cloth 
He used to exasperate me at times but we usually ended up in fits of laughter. Breaks my heart I will never have that again 
x
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Me too - he made me laugh for forty years. My daughter wants someone who makes her laugh like dad did.! xx
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We certainly do, I’ll give anything to have the toothpaste in the sink and pee on the floor
Oh and the mess, Life is definitely boring now
Xx
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Stan was messy too. Thank you for the smiles. 
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Glad to be of service Mary 
xx
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Earlier today I said that I feel that I do stupid things, and someone said that you can share what you do without ridicule on this site , having told you what I do, it seems though that some find it quite amusing, I find this not very helpful, considering that my Jeans funeral was only Friday, and I am struggling at the moment, I know some of you are at stages far beyond where I am at the moment, but a lot of us are not.
Richard
Hi Richard, i found it touching and I can understand how it brings you some comfort. It’s similar to what I do… I hope I wasn’t one of those who upset you. .
It’s much longrr since my husband’s death but I still feel so vulnerable .
When people share their thoughts at such a difficult time its a privilege that I try to respect…
I hope you can find some peace tonight , sadly that’s probably a hope in vain. Sadme
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Hi Sadme, you haven’t upset me, I am finding all the silliest things that would normally be ignored becoming a major upset, I just can’t come to terms with my loss, yesterday and today seem the worst days by far.
Richard.
Yes, i can understand that , everything becomes too big to cope with. When you have a loved one to share things with they’re manageable and you can sort them out or laugh them off. When you’re alone it’s very different.
I’ve just read an interview with Richard Cole in The Guardian , he lost his partner suddenly 3 months ago. He said " I got home, fed the dogs, cooked supper, changed into pyjamas and had a nightcap and it was still only 6.10pm." The days and nights seem so endless and painful without our loved ones.
I don’t understand all this come to terms with it that people talk about. It’ s the worst thing that’s ever happened to me by a million miles and I don’t know how to live with it. Wishing you well .
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Richard, I am sorry you feel like that and I am very aware you are struggling and your wife’s funeral has just passed. It is the worst thing you will ever experience and you are going through the worst time of your life. We have all been there and know exactly what you are going through. We are all maybe a bit further down the line than you are but we still have terribly dark days so anything that makes us laugh or brings a little light-heartedness can only be a good thing and in time I am sure you will also welcome the opportunity to smile again. Yes this forum is about support, comfort and compassion but it is also about remembering the happy times we had with our loved ones and reminiscing about them. I am sure you don’t grudge us that and it is due to the fact you are heart broken that you are reacting in this way and taking things personally. We all feel for you and we have all been where you are, I never thought I would get through it but 16 weeks later I am still here and getting on with it as I have no other choice and you will too.
V xx
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Hi MrsColt, I don’t begrudge you laughing and smiling I am sure it helps you, but I just need time, and I am probably thinking and saying things before I have thought about it, I only hope that one day I will overcome this terrible loss and feeling, but at the moment I just can’t see that far ahead.
Richard
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I just don’t want you to think we are not sensitive to what you are going through. We are also struggling so any respite even if it is a wee laugh on here is welcome. I know at the moment you think you will never get through this and will never feel any better but as the weeks go on you will find yourself able to cope a bit more. My husband took a massive heart attack in November totally unexpected and sudden. He was always healthy and active so it was a terrible shock. I had lost my Mum 3 weeks before Colin so a double whammy 
I know exactly how you are feeling but trust me you will get there.
V xx
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MrsColt, I am so sorry for your terrible losses, I can’t even begin to know how you are coping, you must have incredible strength, please forgive me and perhaps one day I will have a laugh with you.
Richard
I look forward to the day we can laugh together Richard and it will come even though it’s beyond comprehension at this present time.
V xx
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You asked about counselling and i personally found the service offered by Sue Ryder helped me last year so much as I approached the first anniversary of not only the traumatic passing of my lovely man, after 6 weeks of investigations that lead to a diagnosis of terminal stomach cancer. I had 6 weeks of counselling that both helped me cope and made me see things more clearly. It is an online video link so might not suit everyone, but I found it more personal as I sat in my own home.
In respect of where you are now and the support you hope you can get, I too found it difficult in the early days, for me two reasons, I posted and no one replied, I sought some threads of positivity and only found ones that gave me no hope that I would survive and find the strength to live my life alone. But then those words of encouragement emerged, I could relate to the experience shared and shared my own.
I am now approaching the 2nd anniversary and it’s not easy, but what helps is realising that your love lives on, memories although bitter sweet, give me comfort.
We are all different in how we deal with our loss…but share so much. Each and every one of us has been in your shoes. I hope that you find the site does give you the support you seek. It’s best to explore it as Kate suggests and in time hopefully you too will give others support when they seek it.
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im so glad you found the strength and hopefully a bit of inner peace i still have chips funeral to face. Richard dont expect the heart ache to fade why should it you are missing your lovely wife and rightly so. one day at a time i have found keeping busy is the best way i dont want to be home so i have just gone back to doing the normal things. Im not letting myself have time to think which i know probably isnt the best way to handle this. In your case you need to get back to some kind of normality its not being disloyal and your not for getting Jean your living for her x
Hi Richard, I too am sorry if you have been offended by the amusing memories, but this is what the forum does for us, it help us to support, smile as well as cry together. I’m afraid I’m one of those people that is trying to come to terms which does not mean that I and others on the forum are suffering any the less and, yes, it is the worst thing that has ever happened to me and I have no idea if I will ever ‘come to terms’ with it. I am however trying my hardest to cope, because that is what I want.
Keep looking for your beloved wife it’s surprising the contact you find if you keep looking and for me it does bring me comfort.
xxxx
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