Where is everyone today, could have done with a chat today, three weeks yesterday that I lost Jean, really could have done with someone to talk to.
Richard
Hello Richard. Well I’ve been to work, only just got home. Had to work late today, usually finish at 8pm. I’ve just been catching up on the new songs posted. Have you looked at the Songs thread? I love it Richard 
Many of us try to be as busy as we can and then, just as I am doing, have a look in the site late at night. Sleep or lack of it seems to be a common problem Richard 
There is no set way that people interact, it can be when we find a conversation that we feel we want to add a comment to, sometimes it starts the conversation away again. Or indeed you can set it away yourself. Even just reading others posts and replies, can give comfort to know others are going through the same struggle as you are.
We are all at different stages and I hope that our experience will help you too.
Reading suggested topics are designed to direct you to conversations that you may find useful, these may be old ones, but if you interact with them they will start up again.
Both the music and poetry topics are definitely worth looking at.
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Hello Richard,
I have multiple health conditions one of them is arthritis in my right hand. I tried to use my computer but after a few minutes, the pain was so bad I had to finish.
Hopefully, because I have rested it, I should be able to participate. I have multiple health problems and I have to be guided by how they affect me on any particular day. I have to go with the flow.
MaryL
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Richard if you post someone will
Answer. At some point. We are all here at some point of the day. As said before not just on this thread. Daytime threads are quite busy on here. Late at night it’s a little slower. Some people can’t sleep. Some all they want to do is sleep
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Hi. Pat. I too am sorry if anyone feels bad about having a sense of humour. My wife could always see the funny side of life. It does have it’s funny side by virtue of having it’s grim side. Always the pairs of opposites.
We can’t have one without the other appears at some time. Always the flip side of the coin. Now I’m not suggesting that in the early stages of grief we can muster up any humour whatsoever. No way, but as time progresses I have found I can smile and even laugh again. It takes time, and to many time goes so slowly and is so very painful.
We have a choice later to laugh or cry. We can mix the two. I do! The big problem with grief is that there is no individual way. We are all so different.
But I for one will retain my sense of humour and I know you will.
Blessings. John.
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Thank you, Jonathan for more words of wisdom,
Stan used to say that I had a black sense of humour, he was right in some instances. My sister-in-law, tried to commit suicide whilst she, my brother and children were staying at my mum’s. Stan and I together with my mum went to church as usual, he was dashing about, being a church warden, he always had plenty to do. At the end, I heard this weak little voice say, “I wouldn’t care. but she has left me without my sleeping tablets”. This made me laugh so much, my sister-in-law thankfully recovered, I thought it was so funny, Stan didn’t agree.
Blessings
Mary
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Thank you, Jooles, x
Yes John, I am trying to find humour in my life again. I have cried buckets and will probably continue to do so but being able to smile or even laugh again is a bonus and amazingly it is beginning to happen. I too have a weird sense of humour. Tell me a joke and I will still be trying to work it out an hour later, yet when I saw a woman going across the road and walk straight into a lamp post and although I was helping her up I couldn’t stop laughing.
Pat xxx
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Hi Richard, sorry you thought no one was around for a chat with you. There are lots of people around even on other conversations, search around you will find them.
Sorry but I work quite hard during the day and when I go to bed my laptop is tucked away downstairs. There are quite a few people up late though and will reply to you.
Take care
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Sorry, I just have to express my disappointment that the discussion on humour was picked up again when, in my opinion we did reply to the concerns around lack of respect.
It’s very early days for Gillom and we are all trying to help him navigate and understand the site.
SanW. Sorry what is your disappointment I can’t work out what you mean?
This gentleman has just lost his wife, he already expressed concern at the tone of some replies to his post and apologies were made. To resurrect the discussion on humour on this particular thread will not be helping someone in the very early days of loss.
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Hi Gollom,
i don’t know if you’re awake tonight. yet agsin I am !
I hope you’re as o.k as you can be but .I know how lonely and desperate it can be. Thinking of you. Sadme
Im awake too if anyone needs to chatx
Apologies I hadn’t seen that
I don’t think anyone need apologise. We are all human and have emotions and express ourselves in the only way we know. To say something is wrong or inappropriate when all they are trying to do is to try and lighten the absolutely awful situation we find ourselves in may not be ‘appropriate’ to many. Of course we all feel for Richard, of course we do. I doubt anyone here has not felt as he does. I still do at times, but I would not criticize or make anyone feel guilt about what they say. The clown is funny, but so often deep down he is in pain. He makes people smile and laugh in spite of his agony. In spite of his pain he wants people to be happy. What is ‘inappropriate’ for some may not be so for others. Compassion, love and respect for each other and each other’s views is essential on a site like this.
I would say this to Richard. I too lost my wife and I am still in pain, but I am not going to allow that pain to make others miserable, that would be wrong. None of us are going to fall about laughing. But a little gentle humour does not go amiss. I would leave it to the SR staff to decide what is ‘inappropriate’.
Best wishes to all. John.
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Thank you, John for putting this into perspective, it is much appreciated.
Best wishes,
MaryL
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Thank you John I felt very embarrassed this morning. So you have made me feel better.
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I completely agree with Jonathon.
Having had a very bad week I laughed for the first time when I read about jooles mums legs, Mary’s story and Pat’s lamppost story.
The occasional bit of humour is the only thing getting me through. Otherwise i would be crying.
Cheryl
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