Hi everyone. I’ve just got back from Curch. Candles lit and prayers said
I read the posts I’d missed and got really confused
Buttons, cakes?
Cake and currency?
Hair, buttons, salty snacks, Swedish things?
Then I realised you must be talking about Connections
I havent looked at that in ages. I found it really tough. So many Americanisms
Sorry Siobhan
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Sorry Nigel, cauliflower alert
Believe it or not, I have never he’d cauliflower cheese. So I have bought a cauliflower and I have cheated and bought cheese sauce. For tomorrows dinner
I’ve never had macaroni cheese either 
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I always have plenty I can eat. Currently hot cross buns.
Missed the first one. For some reason my box missed recording the beginning of the program. Just saw the answer.
Wow! I tend to live off cheese in one form or another. Cheese sauce bought is fine, but I’d also grate some fresh cheese over the top just before putting it in the oven.
It was so easy, its one of those you get before they even ask the question
X xx
Thatscwhat I thought I’d do
I’ve only got an extremely vintage cheddar, will that be ok,?
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Yes if you like the cheese, it will be fine x
I went out for some shopping and decided to treat myself.
And ….l. I read two chapters 
Should be; just a bit grated over the top.
Well done! Wish I could concentrate on a book again. My friend says it will come back eventually; hope so.
Thanks its an extremely strong cheddar. My brother sends me a hamper at Christmas. The cheeses are all in wax.
I gave my friend the garlic one and the truffle one yuck!!
I managed 6 pages of ‘Gone With The Wind’ a few weeks ago, when I pick it up again I will have to start again.
Its my favourite book I have read it a good few times.
Trouble with me and reading is it sends me to sleep
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Looks yummy
I had won an Easter egg in the Church raffle, its Cadbury dairy milk with caramel nibbles.
Its only small, but it will do me
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Linda that looks so yummy. How lovely you sat out and read.
Kathy I luckily have been able to read. I think it’s my way if escaping reality.
Liz enjoy your Cadburys!
I spoke with my sister today which cheered me up. I really miss being able to see her in person. I’d been feeling so low because the weight of grief is heavy lately. I do t really mind because I am thinking of drew. I actually spoke out loud to him. I know people say it gets easier to deal with but it doesn’t feel like it .
Siobhan 
I am fast approaching the 2nd anniversary. I’m not sure it gets easier I think we just develop coping mechanism. I do not intend to focus on the date.
Hi Siobhan
I didn’t believe all I heard about the 2nd year. How could it be worse?
But here I am 2 months into the 2nd year and yes it’s worse, but in a different way.
I think reality has started, the shock, numbness and denial of the first year have gone to be replaced by brutal reality.
I was coping better before, handling it fine about being on my own. I didn’t like it but I was coping.
Now I cry a lot more again, but I can mostly keep it to myself.
Not always. I cried in Church this morning when a lady I know well spoke to me.
I don’t like coming in, the house is so quiet its deafening. So I stay out when I can, even just sitting in the park or taking a longer way home.
My daughter showed me how to turn my music on before I come in, that helps a bit.
But the lonliness is on another level. I felt so alone in the pub the other day, surrounded by my friends, I just felt alone.
I guess this is just another stage we’ve got to get through.
We will get there with the help and understanding we get from this group
I’m sorry if this has upset you. I just wanted to show you that what you feel is normal.
Heartbreaking but normal
My heart and hands are here for you always
Big hugs
Liz x x 
Yes, the loneliness is terrible. I always enjoyed being by myself for a lot of the day, but this is just relentless and draining, and however many people you might chat to during the day, it doesn’t help.
Did you find the 2nd year worse than the 1st Kathy?
X x
I’m still in the second year - until October - and it’s a hundred times worse, but in different ways. I was coping ok last year, getting on with things, and now I’m really not. Letting things slide, not being bothered to do anything, not meeting up with people, going endlessly back to past memories. Hopefully next year will be better.
My second year ends beginning of June. It has been worse. As with you I suspect the reduced mobility and increased pain hasn’t exactly helped
