Good morning Liro and Harris, I have my fingers crossed we all have a better day today.
It certainly isnt easy so many reminders of everything we have lost.
I hate how empty the house now feels Gra and I spent many hours just sat chatting about anything and nothing.and I miss that.
Making a meal seems like a waste of time so I grad a ready meal or a crisp sandwich, anything that doesn’t take alot of thinking .
Hugs for us all Jo xxx
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Apart from the book
I could have written what you have written myself, yesterday and the day before.
This journey we’re on is truly horrendous and it’s hard to see an end to it.
Our husbands would not want us to be like this
I too feel emotionally drained. You’re not alone.
I spoke to a counsellor yesterday and she said it’s early days (and I’m further on than you) to cry if I want, to be kinder to myself, stop beating myself up and go with it.
I don’t know if that will help you
But please believe that what you are going through is normal and things will improve eventually
I’m going to try and start back up the rollercoaster today.
I think I’m all cried out.
You are not alone, we’re all here for you
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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Good morning everyone.
Harriet I feel so sorry you are going through such an awful time and I understand what it’s like to feel constantly anxious and desperate for some relief from these feelings.
I think I am having such a mixture of emotions at the moment… either sitting feeling upset and anxious and unable to get going with anything, or rushing around helping with family problems, feeling slightly better but then exhausted.
Last night I forced myself to go to a salsa class, almost backed out, but glad I went as for an hour I wasn’t on my own, overthinking again.
Today I have a counselling session booked, but I don’t feel like going, and am doubtful it will help as I’d rather just have someone to talk to in general.
I wish you a better day and pray that the tearful, lost feelings will subside for longer periods at a time.
Sending loads of love X
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I understand.
I hate this rollercoaster.
These past few days have been at the lower part of the rollercoaster.
Here’s to starting the upward journey 
Big hugs for everyone xx
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It’s certainly a rough road to travel, full of boulders, pot holes and snares. Some of them are hidden and they seem to be the worst. At least that is how I feel. I think I have got the hang of not looking any further into the future than next week. It seems too dark and scary to look any further. I try not to anticipate big dates and tell myself that anniversaries, birthdays and the C-word is just another day. I try not to meet trouble halfway and tell myself that I will cross that bridge when I come to it. But it’s the sneaky memories that trip me up. There is no escaping them, even if I moved house, which is impossible anyway, I would take my head with me.
I don’t think there is any solution. Just got to wait for the waves to get smaller and look for some joy in life. It’s there somewhere. I am going to Sainsburys today, maybe I will get some there, with bonus Nectar points!
I hope everyone has a better day. Xx
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It really is a hard horrendous journey, I keep thinking I am getting a little better but bang something reminds me all over again those tears start to fall.
I often wish I could sleep and wake up when the pain stops, but will it ever.
I have so many beautiful memories of Gra the day we got married the first day he told me he loved me, but at those memories bring tears.
I like you all wanted to make more, but those wishes are impossible and oh my god does that hut.
Hugs Jo xxx
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All the last few posts are just how I feel and it’s 11 months now. The mornings are the worst I could quite happily stay in bed all day. I’m starting to feel this isn’t going to get any better, I miss and love him so much
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Hello jack , I lost my darling husband on the 16th of June this year. Its awful in fact awful is to light a word to use.
I dont think there is a time or right way to grieve we are all different and all handle this in different ways.
I get the not wanting to get up but then laying there with your thoughts is just as painful.
Like yourself I love been around people but omg is it a killer when they leave and that isolation lonilness creeps back in.
Hugs Jo xxx
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Well apologies for yesterdays absence,I was very angry kicking things around generally fuming,my wife passed of sepsis in April this year and suffering from cancer.
I insisted on a meeting with members of the board of the NHS and got one.
I have since received transcript and recording of the meeting and after a bit of research it set me off,verbatim sepsis on admission was suspected and put on basic antibiotics,her medical score of 5 triggers an urgent medical review(wasn’t done)her obs 22bpm anything over 20 is a red flag,heart rate 93 anything over 90 is a red flag,temperature 35 anything under 36 is a red flag,minimum obs on all these should have been hourly hers were 3 hourly,she was cold so they just stuck a Huggie blanket on her,I said before the meeting I was not inclined to proceed down the legal route.
Now that is exactly where I am going,they just let her die.
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Thank you for your support,I have already made an appt with my solicitor,someone once said to me going down this route would be like picking at a grief scab,I really don’t care now,I can’t let them get away with it anymore,if it costs me everything she has to get justice.
Love RonXx
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Oh @Ron11
I’m so sorry its come to this.
But no you can’t leave it.
Were all here for you
Love and hugs 
Liz x x
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Morning Ron well done for standing up to them, I am also putting in a complaint around Gras care and the way he was treated.
I am just getting the dreaded c word out the way first hopefully i will be stronger then.
Good luck Ron keep us posted .hugs jo xxc
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Thanks Liz.
Your support is very much appreciated.
Love RonXx
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Thanks Jo.
I will try updates as much as possible,but I have to be careful.
Love RonXx
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I understand that Ron I will keep my fingers crossed you get the answers you deserve, and although it is to late for your dear wife it will help someone else stopping them going through what you are now.
Hugs Jo xxx
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I am upset to read this Ron, it is so dreadfully wrong this happened and I hope you get the justice you want for your lovely wife. Sending you hugs:people_hugging:
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So very sorry xx
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I had an appt this morning to get diabetic bloods done, well the inevitable happened and I ended up in floods of tears. My BP is through the roof, that explains the headache she said I need to see a Dr. Lots of phone appts available but no face to face so she asked the receptionist to change one to a face to face so I go back this afternoon. I was told to come home and rest. I knew when I got up this was going to be a bad day 
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Really sorry, Ron.
Sending love, hugs and strength by the bucketful. Xx
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Thanks Jane.
Think it might need skips.
Love RonXx
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