So Sandra never feel you alone we are all muddling through scared anxious lost.
But we have each other like Ron says a new family holdig each other up xxxx
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It most certainly is,sadly there is nothing we can do except honour and love them like they were still here.
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Its all we can do, and as I speak for Gra he made me promise I would be happy one day.
And I am trying to hounor his wishes. Xxx
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Tomorrow will be 18 weeks for me the hardet 18 weeks of my life. Xxx
Going for tea at my daughters will catch up with you all later. Hugs Jo xxxx
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Linda
You can say whatever you feel here and it’s safe. Don’t worry about how it affects us. You need to feel whatever you are but please remember we are here for you. Hands, hugs, ears to listen.
Everyone else…I agree with Ron you are my “family” of understanding… sadly a loss none of us want but have to try to live with.
Thanks
Siobhan xx
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Isn’t it silly the things that can ruin your day. I wanted to make sure a load of washing dried today as I have towels tomorrow. I planned to use the air dryer to make sure. I tried to move it and a leg fell off. In trying to attach that leg all the legs fell off. I don’t seem able to get them to stay on so having to rely in the dehumidifier to dry everything in normal airers. This happened at 8 a.m. it has made me upset all day.
Now that is just silly with what Jane and Linda are going through.
Xx. Sandra
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No not silly. I have had many times when small things, which in the past would have just been dealt with or ignored, have brought me to tears. Xx
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Lyn
Sorry you have milestone to get thru today but I am sure every day feels like a milestone sometimes for some people.
Sandra - we are emotionally drained, brain fog, defenses down as part of grieving. So we don’t physically have the tolerance to let go of things that normally we would do. A nurse told me this about me. As you know my throat is really getting me down. I will have to be extremely careful when I start to get better to take it slow
Life is tough but try to enjoy any win no matter how small. Like this forum for one
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Well my evening carer has managed to re attach the feet to the air dryer. We are off and running again for tomorrow’s towel wash.
Xx Sandra.
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Thinking of you.
It is so thoughtful of you to contact me on such a difficult day for you
Big hug xx
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A small win, made a garlic pasta bake for dinner together with a nice bottle of wine.
Not much of the pasta may get consumed but the wine will.
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Hi again everyone
I’ve been out most of the day again.
I’m with everyone else.
Please Linda don’t leave us.
We know you’re as far down as you can possibly be.
But that doesn’t mean you’re going to pull us down.
Our own individual grief pulls us down. Sometimes more than others.
We all want to help each other and that includes you.
We can listen, understand and encourage each other.
Like you have done for all of us.
We have all been in dark places and thought we’d never pick up. But with each others help we do.
I know that sometimes we fall again, but we are all here to help each other up.
Please don’t leave us.
We need you.
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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I am tossing up between a diazepam? Or. a gin?
Errrr gin every time Linda tastes better.
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Thank you all for reassuring me that I will not bring you down. I was so worried about that.
I didn’t want to leave and people not know the reason. So that’s why I posted my thoughts and concerns.
I am so overwhelmed by all your kindness and understanding.
I feel so supported by you.
I will not be leaving.
And Ron, gin it is.
Thank you all so much.
Love and hugs,
Linda xx
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Please don’t leave us. We all need each other. I know I’ve thought about not posting anymore because I don’t want to upset others by feeling so miserable, but they always help.
At the moment I feel like I’m going mad. I want my Bill back so much. I know it won’t happen but it doesn’t stop me wishing. I see things he bought, like a couple of small seed propogaters, in April, ready to use which he didn’t get chance to use and the tears flow like a waterfall.
Now this next is stupid. When Bill went into hospital every Tuesday for his transfusion, I stayed with him to keep him company. I use to take a book of Sudoku puzzles to do. I still have these puzzles but I can’t do them, because I used to do them sitting by Bill - daft or what.
I think I’ve cried more in the last 2 to 3 weeks than I have in the rest of my life. Everything I see that he wanted, I get so upset about. I would have given him the world if I could, I loved him so much, and still do. How on earth do we ever get over this when we love someone so much…
See, I 'm being so down again. Can’t seem to find an “up”.
So sorry to everyone, when I know you’re all going through similar things.
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So glad you posted as I think it’s been awhile. I was going to stop posting at one stage too. But we all need each other. I was like you in the respect my husband had to go for blood transfusions and/ or chemo regularly. We would joke with the nurses. Most times I would drop him off as I work. But sometimes I would go in with him. I used to do codebreakers with him but I can’t concentrate to do them now
Keep sharing when you can
Linda glad you are staying but also had the courage to say you were thinking of leaving. It shows you were thinking of all of us so you aren’t really in the swamp if you think like that!! Xxx
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The sudoku thing is not stupid. Norman and I used to watch countdown and play along everyday. Haven’t been able to watch it since he died. Only just started watching university challenge again. We both used to give a number of questions we would answer. This is after 16 months.
Xx
Sandra
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Its really not silly not bring able to do suduko without him
I used to make greetings cards, mainly decoupage.
Roger used to help me. A lot.
Especially with the Christmas cards.
I won’t be making any this year. I may not make them ever again.
It hurts so much
X x
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I agree it is not stupid.
We would get a particular newspaper on Saturdays and between us try to complete the general knowledge crossword.
That is definitely not possible now.
In fact I came across one of the sections of the newspaper Paul bought the day before he died. I have kept it as I cannot part with it.
@Harriet4Bill thank you for contacting me.
It is so very kind of you to think of me xx
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