It is so different when you lose your soulmate xx
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Hiya Sandra, you are not alone aving no confidence, I always relied on others as a child mum dad siblings as I grew partner and husbands.
This is the first time in my 59 yrs I have been totally alone, am I scared omg I am, am I lost and lonely like you wouldnt believe. Do I question everything I sure do. I suffer agoraphobia and panic attacks, Gra would calm me knew all the right things to say. Believe me your not alone. Xxx
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I can identify with that xx
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Linda, I’m so sorry you are so down; wish we could all come and give you a hug. I think we’ve all been there. However cheery and full of banter we seem, I’m sure everyone has had those dark moments too. I know I’ve had some very dark thoughts over the last year. Like you, I thought my confidence came solely from John, as he was a strong character and did everything needful; as I’m a nervous driver, he’d also take me to places I didn’t feel I could drive to. You are who you are because of Paul, just as I am because of John. But we are also separate people. You’re a loving, caring, warm-hearted person, and you’ve got this far, so you’re also a brave one. Everyone here is brave. Hang on in there, reach out to your neighbours (and the doctor, too, if you can). Know that we all care about you and Tony, and wish the very best for you, and please keep posting. Kathy xx
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So Sandra never feel you alone we are all muddling through scared anxious lost.
But we have each other like Ron says a new family holdig each other up xxxx
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It most certainly is,sadly there is nothing we can do except honour and love them like they were still here.
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Its all we can do, and as I speak for Gra he made me promise I would be happy one day.
And I am trying to hounor his wishes. Xxx
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Tomorrow will be 18 weeks for me the hardet 18 weeks of my life. Xxx
Going for tea at my daughters will catch up with you all later. Hugs Jo xxxx
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Linda
You can say whatever you feel here and it’s safe. Don’t worry about how it affects us. You need to feel whatever you are but please remember we are here for you. Hands, hugs, ears to listen.
Everyone else…I agree with Ron you are my “family” of understanding… sadly a loss none of us want but have to try to live with.
Thanks
Siobhan xx
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Isn’t it silly the things that can ruin your day. I wanted to make sure a load of washing dried today as I have towels tomorrow. I planned to use the air dryer to make sure. I tried to move it and a leg fell off. In trying to attach that leg all the legs fell off. I don’t seem able to get them to stay on so having to rely in the dehumidifier to dry everything in normal airers. This happened at 8 a.m. it has made me upset all day.
Now that is just silly with what Jane and Linda are going through.
Xx. Sandra
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No not silly. I have had many times when small things, which in the past would have just been dealt with or ignored, have brought me to tears. Xx
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Lyn
Sorry you have milestone to get thru today but I am sure every day feels like a milestone sometimes for some people.
Sandra - we are emotionally drained, brain fog, defenses down as part of grieving. So we don’t physically have the tolerance to let go of things that normally we would do. A nurse told me this about me. As you know my throat is really getting me down. I will have to be extremely careful when I start to get better to take it slow
Life is tough but try to enjoy any win no matter how small. Like this forum for one
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Well my evening carer has managed to re attach the feet to the air dryer. We are off and running again for tomorrow’s towel wash.
Xx Sandra.
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Thinking of you.
It is so thoughtful of you to contact me on such a difficult day for you
Big hug xx
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A small win, made a garlic pasta bake for dinner together with a nice bottle of wine.
Not much of the pasta may get consumed but the wine will.
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Hi again everyone
I’ve been out most of the day again.
I’m with everyone else.
Please Linda don’t leave us.
We know you’re as far down as you can possibly be.
But that doesn’t mean you’re going to pull us down.
Our own individual grief pulls us down. Sometimes more than others.
We all want to help each other and that includes you.
We can listen, understand and encourage each other.
Like you have done for all of us.
We have all been in dark places and thought we’d never pick up. But with each others help we do.
I know that sometimes we fall again, but we are all here to help each other up.
Please don’t leave us.
We need you.
Love and hugs
Liz x x
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I am tossing up between a diazepam? Or. a gin?
Errrr gin every time Linda tastes better.
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Thank you all for reassuring me that I will not bring you down. I was so worried about that.
I didn’t want to leave and people not know the reason. So that’s why I posted my thoughts and concerns.
I am so overwhelmed by all your kindness and understanding.
I feel so supported by you.
I will not be leaving.
And Ron, gin it is.
Thank you all so much.
Love and hugs,
Linda xx
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Please don’t leave us. We all need each other. I know I’ve thought about not posting anymore because I don’t want to upset others by feeling so miserable, but they always help.
At the moment I feel like I’m going mad. I want my Bill back so much. I know it won’t happen but it doesn’t stop me wishing. I see things he bought, like a couple of small seed propogaters, in April, ready to use which he didn’t get chance to use and the tears flow like a waterfall.
Now this next is stupid. When Bill went into hospital every Tuesday for his transfusion, I stayed with him to keep him company. I use to take a book of Sudoku puzzles to do. I still have these puzzles but I can’t do them, because I used to do them sitting by Bill - daft or what.
I think I’ve cried more in the last 2 to 3 weeks than I have in the rest of my life. Everything I see that he wanted, I get so upset about. I would have given him the world if I could, I loved him so much, and still do. How on earth do we ever get over this when we love someone so much…
See, I 'm being so down again. Can’t seem to find an “up”.
So sorry to everyone, when I know you’re all going through similar things.
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