I am so sorry you are feeling so bad today and hope you can find your way out of the swamp. I was broken this morning when I wrote our grandsons birthday card then I thought Ray wouldn’t like to see me like this so I invented a neighbour round for coffee and had a natter to her, she is recently widowed as well. Sending you a hug 
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So sorry.
I understand.
I went out this afternoon to do a bit of shopping.
I saw quite a few men by themselves or with a partner.
They were about my husband’s age and older.
I kept on thinking ‘Why are you here and he is not?’.
Home again and will try to distract myself.
Rose x
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Oh Rosie jack
How horrible for you .I feel for you and I know your grief is overwhelming.
When you love someone so much it really really
hurts.
It more than hurts because we realise these
Beloved people are never coming back.
Agony.
I know what you mean about couples.
We all were once couples and I feel angry and
jealous I suppose.
I feel conspicuous and I never did before I wonder if people are looking at me and commenting.
I wondered what the significance of the feathers
was for you.
Hope it’s not too painful.
I don’t know to cope or if I ever will and I think now what is the point, is there a point to all of this?
I know and understand we are all suffering on here and thank goodness for the posts.
I can only hope we can somehow get some sort of ??? I don’t know peace while continuing
to love and miss the love of our lives.
Thinking of you. Doreen x
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Hi @Dol1
Regarding writing in birthday cards.
It was my Granddaughters birthday a few days after Rogers funeral. As much as it hurt I had just signed it Granny.
She straightaway said " but you’ve not put Grandad Roger in the card" I asked her if she wanted me to and she said yes.
She’s 26 and was Rogers step granddaughter but she loved him.
So when it was the next one in May I put him in but the next one is in November and it will be nearly 9 months, do I still do it?
Everything becomes a dilemma when they leave us.
I don’t think I will put him on Christmas cards.
Its so hard to know what to do
Love snd hugs
Liz x x
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Hiya Liro it is so hard but I have started signing them from me and Millie, i cry each time I have to do a card. Its a killer. But I dont want to hurt anyone else or they think I have lost the plot. Which I have lol by signing them from me and Gra hugs Jo xxxx
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Hi everyone
Regarding the cards and signing.
I feel that with my Sam passing away I have had to take so much off him.
Things I had no idea I would have to do.
Take his name off bank accounts,
building society and all utility bills sell his much prized car every thing, contact the land registry to take his name off the house deeds.
I felt terrible like I was wiping him away.
So I will put his name in his memory on our cards.
Probably sounds daft and when the recipient
gets them will be surprised .
It will hopefully make me feel a bit better.
Love and comfort to all.
Doreen x
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Hi Jo,
I need you guys tonight.
My Sam passed away at 10-30 tonight 22 weeks ago.
I am desolate and all alone I am sitting in our bed and longing for him to be here.
I have covered the clock so I can’t see the time of his death.
Am I actually going mad ?
I need him to be with me but he can’t ever be
ever again.
I am grateful though that it’s me and not him
I couldn’t bare this for my wonderful Sam.
The weekends are very difficult for me but a Saturday is absolutely terrifying and at night
It’s like a looming horrible and never going
away reminder.
Just please god and anyone else try to help me through the night.
Love and comfort to all.
Doreen x
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Oh @Dol1
I’m here.
I can’t do much but I’m here to listen
I understand, I really do
Can you put the tv on or a radio to distract you?
Sending a huge hug
You’re not alone
X x
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Hi Doreen.
Here’s my virtual hand,hang on tight we are all with you.
Much love Ron.
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Hiya Doreen i am here for you, your not alone we all care, please reach out to us , wevknow how you feel. Tomorrow will be 20 weeks for me I have cried so much tonight. I am sending you loads of love and hugs jo xxxx
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I am here too. I try not to count the days.
Sending love and strength.
Xx
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Thinking of you
Sending hugs x
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Sending hugs, understanding and empathy. We have all been there, its not a place anyone wants to be. We’ve got you xx
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I am here to virtually hold your hand, I wake up at2am every night as that is the time Ray died in our bed with me beside him. We are all here with you.
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Thank you liro
I had the Tv on and was watching The Quartet
With Maggie Smith and Billy Connelly.
We had watched it together last time it was on
and really enjoyed it.
The classical music and the memories were
Too much but I watched it.
To remember it together was lovely but had me in tears .
I am a mess but I have read the support I have on here and my god I am so grateful.
I could not get through the night with out you
all.
Lots of love from Doreen and Sam he would be very proud of how your support is helping
Me
Love Doreen
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Always here for each other Doreen hugs jo xxc
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Absolutely know this and to you guys so humbling I I cannot express my love xx
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You put it into words so well Doreen. ‘I need him to be with me but he can’t ever be, ever again’ That longing for them to be with us is such a desperate feeling. Saturdays are bad for me too. Andy died next to me suddenly on Saturday morning 20 weeks ago. It helps me to think that he has just gone on ahead of me and that I need to make the best of the time I have left here on this earth before I follow him. In a way this grief is a continuation of our marriage. We can take them with us in a spiritual sense. Its good to keep talking to them. Blessings All.
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Good morning everyone
I hope everyone has the most peaceful day we can
I’ve already had tears this morning but I’m trying to pick myself up and get on with it
We’ve got this. Together
Love and hugs to you all
Liz x x
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Big hugs.
Here for you xx
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