I know what you mean,up until last Saturday I was more upbeat,even manage a few smiles and laughs,then just cleaning the garden stuff brought back so many memories it collapsed me,I locked myself away and sadly got a bit drunk,weekends for me are not very good as my wife was admitted to hospital on a Saturday and passed on the Sunday.
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Omg Ron were was you when you was bitten? Zxx
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We were in Florida.
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Bless you I bet you was terrified, i know I would have been xxx
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It was a bit scary fortunately there was a medic still on the base.
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It was a. Good job there was by sounds of it xxx
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I know how you feel.
During and since Covid it was the two of us, which was lovely.
Of course, now there is just me and like you have written it is lonely.
Sending a big hug xx
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Good news, but it will be hard. Everyone is with you.
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Thanks Catrin your support is very welcome.
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Of course nobody is fed up with you, just so sorry that you’re going through this. It’s so lonely without them.
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Hi harriet4billx
My goodness this sounds like me… from everything you have written… friends how true they do make it about them. They fade away and yes that saying its early… no its another day with our loved ones. I was driving to work this morning asking why she went and left me here. I have to work I still cant get my head around any of it either. Never seen someone pass so quickly. On 19th june. Life goes on…i was asked if I had any thoughts of ending it all. I will be honest i did. For a few minutes but came out of it. As how could I when she lost her life. I have no idea how to carry on people keep saying early days no. It means another day without her. And i am here bed at 6.30 when not in work. Pathetic bit feel so angry want to stop everyone and tell them.about her. As she really was special. Some.family members didnt approve at first but happy for 34 years. Now on my own feeling like an alien at work as just not wanting to chat to anyone
Wish I knew what the answers are but dont. I feel so lonely and dont know where I want to be or do next not sure about anything. Use to worry about the world news. Now not the least bit interested. We were robbed of another 15 years. Stay strong … friends come and soon go… we are here thoughxx
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Yes, I’m so grateful now for covid. Almost a year of lockdown in Wales, and of being together for it. A gift.
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Blue7
Whatever you are feeling is normal for you. Everyone’s journey is different. I am so glad you shared. My husband died 5 months ago and I feel like the grief feels like it was yesterday. It’s even worse than when I watched him die in front of me
I was thinking today when do people start to dispose of their loved ones things? I haven’t even gotten rid of his comb, shaving cream etc.
I miss him loads & tired of people saying he’d want me to be happy, things will get better etc. I even had someone basically talk abtme meeting someone else!! He was (& still for me ) the love of my life. So I appropriate.
Thanks for letting me share. I feel safe doing it in this space.
Xx oo
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My husband was Diagnosed with cancer at the beginning of Covid. It terrible going to the hospital and we had to travel 100 miles to the hospital and a 100 miles back
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I think the dark nights and miserable weather have an effect. For the first time in 16 years I drove in the dark tonight, and I was scared. I have had a licence for 50 years, but my husband didn’t like being a passenger.
I walked into the house, the kitchen table was covered in half -resolved sadmin. There were forms to fill in for my daughter. Vaccinations and emails from the doctors that I have to attend to. And it just hit me that this is it, this is what I have to do on my own forever.
I have done what absolutely has to be done. Not to his standard, admittedly, but it will do. But I have not tackled anything big. And the future looks big and scary and bleak.
I miss him so much that I ache. Not a day passes without tears. I can’t look at photographs of him. I can’t listen to songs without getting upset. I hate getting into my big cold bed. I haven’t got rid of his clothes. His aftershave is still in the bathroom cabinet, but I have moved my stuff out so I don’t even open the cabinet and see his.
I have tried to be as busy as possible since he died but now I feel worn out. The trouble is, I can’t stop now because not much of what I started has reached a conclusion. I should have done one job at a time.
And now it’s bloody raining. Again.
Xx
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So sorry.
Sending hugs xx
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Good morning everyone,up early had a cup of coffee,picked up some bits in the garden,filled the log case by the burner,and then had a bit of a moment,clocks go back in a few weeks,dreary rainy days,cold dark lonely nights to look forward to,not something I relish,first winter without my wife it’s not gonna be pretty,just hope somehow we can all struggle through.
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Good morning I am dreading the winter nights with a passion, how the hell do we get through them.
Like you willow I cry everyday for Gra for the life we had , i watch other couples and I am jealous, I miss him beyond believe.
I send us all hugs Jo xxx
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Good morning Ron you have been busy, I am still sat here in my dressing gown thinking of all the things I should be doing. Its raining here again its so miserable.
Hugs jo xxx
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Morning Jo.
There was a break in the rain so I thought I would get it done,I do have to force myself to do things,well into shower and another lonely day to face.
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