So very sorry.
I can’t cope with thinking about the future.
Sometimes I can cope with planning the day, sometimes it’s just getting through the morning, then the afternoon and so on
If I am lucky I can plan a few days ahead.
Sending a big hug,
Rose xx
I hate Mondays it was 50 weeks ago that I lost my Steve I had 2 Ambulance crew here in the end but there was nothing they could do a big part of me went with him that day 
I’m so sorry that you’re suffering so badly.
The future is something I try not to think about too much.
But of course sometimes I do, I can’t help it.
But I try not to dwell on it, it really won’t help me now.
I know you won’t believe me but it is still very early days and gradually the pain will ease and you will find you are starting to cope.
You will never leave her behind but you will carry her in your heart forever.
Take care
Sending love and hugs
Liz x x
Morning Jane.
We were talking last night on what I could now do,awoke with a brilliant idea,lots of friends coming on here just want a bit of company sometimes,as neither they or I want any involvement I could hire myself out as a plus one,no strings attached I can hold a conversation,I’ve been told good company,sense of humour problem is everyone lives all around the country I would have to get a chopper………oh maybe not then.
I understand, the ambulance crews could not revive my husband 31 weeks ago yesterday.
Sending a big hug 
Rose xx
Your new career as a gigolo.
No the choppers made me bin the ideaXx
Morning All Ron what a brilliant idea now who owns a chopper so we can put Ron on hire.
He comes free of charge no strings and if you want even deesses as a gnome, he is brilliant at prunning rose 
Its hard trying to plan a future without our love ones in it but we have no choice this isnt a practice run. We either sink or swim. I for Gras sake an swimming omg do I miss him but he made me promise him I would be ok. And I would live the rest of my life for the 2 off us. He wanted me to find happiness again. I cant imagine it at the moment but I take all the laughter the smiles as a win. And I even oretend to be happy, all the time I am kidding myself maybe one day it will be true. The saying fake it till you make it.
Hugs jo xxx
Good idea seeing what damage you did to yourself with secateurs. My husband had a cousin who flew helicopters for fleet air arm. Another one was a fighter pilot in the gulf war. Now flies for British Airways.
Harriet4Bill,
I was just saying the other day that I don’t feel needed anymore. I cared for my husband for over 15years , more so in the last few years. But I didn’t mind because we made the most of our time. He made me laugh every day. It’s been nearly 5 months but still feels like yesterday.
I just spent some time with cousins on Saturday night which was good. I woke up Sunday morning and was right back in grief. I could feel the weight of his loss weighing on me.
It’s really hard but I just take one day at a time.
Xx
The main problem for me is that you DO need a string attached. A lead or harness would be even better.
It is a good idea, though. Not that I ever get invited anywhere these days where I need a plus one. Sainsbury’s let me in unaccompanied. Although it would be nice to have a skivvy to unload the trolley and put petrol in.
Get your chopper out. Xx
We are heading for the naughty step again,and I can be very multi-functional when neededXx
Rosiejack
I want to spend Christmas in bed. I have told family already I don’t want to celebrate. I don’t want to even talk to anyone
Xx
The naughty step is where I feel most comfortable. I have aircon, a kettle, and a very large chocolate cake. I can keep myself amused for hours. I can see when the postman is approaching, today he brought me yet another banking problem. I need to borrow Jo’s little dog and teach her to bite postmen’s ankles.
As soon as it stops raining I will go out into the garden and prune my roses. I have a friend that pruned their fingers. What an idiot! Mine will be done properly, with finesse.
Having being under the illusion that I would not have to set eyes on them again, I put away death certificates, grant of probate, etc. It turns out that the bank made an error and I have to drive 10 miles and do it all again.
I am not even surprised or annoyed anymore. I suppose it’s something to do, and we all need a hobby.
Xx
You’re so right Willow.
We get to that stage where nothing surprises us anymore.
Nothing angers us anymore.
We’ve just come to realise we’re working with incompetent idiots.
Who actually deserve our sympathy for being so thick!
X x
In that case I will ask around and see if there’s a chopper availableXx
Willow12
I hear you on having to do things that you thought were sorted. I recently submitted his probate information. But got an email last week saying I had to fill out 2 forms. I had to call them because one form was for NI & we never lived there! Was told that form wasn’t needed but didn’t know why it was stayed in the email. I haven’t had the energy to face it yet because I got overwhelmed reading thru the questions.
People who created all these forms clearly have no empathy for those people grieving. The process is tedious and too much to do.
Great attitude you shared so thank you
The last one asked me if Belfast was in Southern or Northern Ireland “because she was not good at geography”. I was almost speechless.
At least we have the widow brain fog as an excuse.
Xx
My geography is bad. I once at school was given a map of Great Britain to fill in. I filled it in upside down. Even I know where Belfast is. I did have to look up the Czech Republic when I was sent there on business.
I did get a geography 0 level,
Remember them?
I am useless at geography, although I do know where Belfast is.
I think I got my exam because I was good at the geology side of it. Although most of thats long forgotten now
X x