Grief is a sneaky bugger, isn’t it? We can’t outrun it, it just ambushes us when we least expect it. It doesn’t follow the rules at all, even when we try to do the things we are supposed to. Get closure, make friends, join classes, do voluntary work.
The most mystifying advice for me is “Lean into your grief”.
I have no idea what that means. How ? The bugger keeps moving around. One minute it’s in the radio, the next it’s in the freezer.
Xx
6 Likes
Sounds very American. Hate these terms like “thinking outside the box” and “ flying an idea up the flagpole”. If we lean into our grief we would all by lying face down in the floor and I for one couldn’t get up without the help of a couple of strong men. Maybe an excuse to call the fire brigade again.
4 Likes
I think we were all lying face down in the swamp yesterday.
Come on, own up, who has been leaning on the Grief, making it unstable?
Xx
3 Likes
I did get really cross with grief and shouted at it to go away
Do you think thats leaning?
X x
3 Likes
We will all shout together, there are plenty of us.
Xx
3 Likes
Hi working on day of breavement counsellings so will book November one…
Got 3 coffee mornings booked in for next week…
However when at work dont want to be there all i see or pretend to see is her in the cornor. Have to rush back home to be with jack . Feed cats ducks etc. Just walked 10.000 steps on another one of our walks . My point is … is this really what my life is now… my direction in life has gone. Everything gone. Everything. Friends ok but its me me who has lost my lovely partner and me who has to go to bed saying good night. Waking up at 3 AM trying to go back to sleep. Me having to wake up wondering how will I get through another meaningless day… i am so sorry for droning on. But god I really hope I will connect with someone in the breavment group as this is so painfulx
8 Likes
Oh I do hope so I find it does help to talk with people going through the same thing. It’s a bit like being on here but with faces.
I’ve already made 2 really nice friends so hopefully you will meet people that you click with.
I also had trouble with some idiot pursuing me like a love sick puppy for heavens sake.
I’m recently widowed, grieving terribly and he seemed to think I needed a new man in my life.
I think he’s got the message
I wouldn’t mind but I’m nothing special, just ordinary, just me.
Good luck I hope you find some connections
Love and hugs
Liz x x
Ps, saying how you’re feeling is not droning on. We all understand x x
4 Likes
Yeah maybe that would work.
It took no notice of me
X x
1 Like
We would probably get a noise complaint.
2 Likes
I don’t get excited about anything. I feel like I am two people, one who puts on a brace face for when I am with people that don’t understand which is alot!! Then the real me that is grieving and feels like I am stuck…just missing my husband every day. But what’s also hard is the huge loss, not just him but our future, how I wanted my life etc.
I never want another partner because he was the love of my life.
I am still unwell which doesn’t help.
Anyway grateful for this forum. 
6 Likes
That sounds like a good idea.
Can’t bear being in the mire.
Down today again, what’s new.
Love Doreenx
2 Likes
Im 22 months wish i could get on with life but it isnt that easy for most of us , we had been together since ages 17 he died at age 59 so how do i live my life counting blessing ? Today i have broke down crying yet again after going for coffee with 2 friends hearing about all holiday plans they got etc im glad for them but it hurts because we would have been going with them , i still cry most days miss him so much
4 Likes
It was a year yesterday. Hard to believe so much time has passed.
3 Likes
Think I can understand you 2hard2bear. My Bill was also the love of my life. He was everything to me and now there’s no-one.
I know some won’t agree with me when I say I’ve got nothing to look forward to.
My future was with Bill. Everything we had and everything we were going to try and do. Now that’s all gone and things don’t mean anything any more.
Like you, I think I’m stuck. I miss him more and more every day. Tears come so easily. I just feel I can’t carry on but can’t do anything about it.
Bill probably wouldn’t want me to be like this but I really can’t help it. I love and miss him so much 
5 Likes
I hate this swamp with a passion - it has pulled me in and is holding fast. I have been trying to deal with financial admin and it is beyond sad …. I have to answer the same questions and give the same information - all the while just falling apart inside. I miss my husband so much ….
Hugs to everyone
Hazel
4 Likes
Ditto to how you are feeling. I do have moments of joy when I speak with my girlfriends I grew up with but it’s only momentary. I get envious to hear their plans with their husbands and futures. I make plans to see people but space them out so I can recover.
We all just need to do individually what feels right for us at any given moment.
@hazd I hear you about the paperwork. Try to think each quest, page you finish is a step closer to when you are done. It’s not easy. Take breaks.
Xx
1 Like
I’ve gone a bit AWOL today, it’s been a weekend from hell,it appears the swamp has taken its toll and everyone seems to be suffering,I wish I could offer some words of wisdom,I guess we just have to plough on.
4 Likes
You’re right, the swamp has got so many of us at the moment.
I’m trying hard and I’m on the way out, but then I start slipping back.
There’s just no rhyme and reason to it.
The bad days seem to come out of nowhere 
Love and hugs
Liz x x
5 Likes
I had a good weekend and was feeling ok but some new thought or feeling hit me this morning and I haven’t been able to shake it off since, I have been crying most of the day and tears in my eyes now. My eyes are so sore and my head hurts. I think what scares me is will I be as bad as this tomorrow. I really hope not.
I hate this swamp but going to have to fight to get out of it. Thanks for all being here because sadly one thing does help that’s knowing others are in this with me.
4 Likes
Ok. Everyone is miserable.
We can have a party game.
What is everyone wearing, where are you sitting, and what did you eat today?
I am sitting in my lounge, with the baby monitor next to me, so I can see Katie in bed.
I have just got back from Tai Chi, so black leggings, cream jumper.
I had a tin of chicken soup and a slice of lemon drizzle cake for lunch. Did not eat any dinner.
Went to the pub after tai chi and had orange juice.
3 Likes