Hi AnnieG1 your so right it was 1 year May 1st for me that my husband passed and yes the grief does seem to be getting harder I feel myself I’m going backwards in fact it’s making me feel ill it’s the loneliness that’s getting me I’ve tried all different things such as going to the over 55 club grief councilling and bereavement groups knit and knatter groups I sit and think this isn’t the kind of life I wanted is this my new life must be more, I try so hard telling myself I have to get out this dark place and pull myself together but its so hard loosing a loved one and missing them so much take care
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Oh you got it in one … is this what my life is now ? I hope its not . . I hope i meet someone … really dont wanna be alone for rest of it 
the lonliness is the worst part of it isnt it so i try to keep as busy as i can - sending you hugs x
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@Jennison1946 everything seems so hard to do I just dont know which way to turn sometimes. I agree its the loneliness thats getting to me too. We went everywhere together and now its so hard to go to places alone. I am lucky that we had 50 years together but I just wanted more. I didnt want this solidatry life and no one seems to understand that I am not over losing him.
Ann
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Hi Jennison1946,
Hope you are feeling better Wendy, not nice having a chest infection,
I am 19 months on this journey and finding the second year more difficult ,
I am getting so stressed about picking the headstone for my husband ,
I dont sleep very well
Take care
Hugs
Susie x
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Hi Ann and Sue I’m going two weeks into this infection today feel ill and really distant if I don’t feel better soon will go to doctors, I was with my husband 51 years before he passed and like you Ann wanted more and I’m also definitely not over him sometimes I can’t believe he’s gone and like you Sue I feel the grief getting worse rather than better, just take your time over your husband’s head stone the right one will be there when you least expect it sending hugs to both of you take care 
Wendy
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Thank you Ann xx
Wendy
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Jennison1946
Hi Wendy ,
I hope you are feeling better ,and manage to
See a Doctor, take care,
Went out shopping yesterday,think i must have Widows fog as i could not concentrate on anything, the second year reality kicks in
And it is such a different life without our loved ones,
Big hugs to you
Suex
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Yeh i was just saying that to my friends too … 2nd year seems worse - as you say reality kicking in !! and it sucks doesnt it ? xx
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Deb5,
I have found this year so more difficult
And i cannot concentrate, as my husband is on my mind all the time ,
Weekends and nights are worse,
Not a journey we all want to be on ,
Sorry for your loss ,take care
Hugs,
Sue .
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Thsnks @Susie3021 its so hard i know … i just wanna find a life … just dont feel i got one anymore … its so lonely isnt it … i cant actually bear it at all x
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Deb5
We had so many plans and memories to make,it is a totally different life now,
We were married for 42 years,
My husband Cousin has been my Rock ,
She goes out shopping or for a meal with me and rings me every other day,
My son lives over a 5 hour drive away ,and i wont drive that far,because my husband had a cardiac arrest whist driving and i was in the car ,so i have nightmares about that day ,
Take care ,
Hugs
Sue x
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Oh no thsts awful him having a heaet attack in the car so glad you got some support…
Most of my support has been my friends. The support from my family has been awful tbh xx
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Deb5
So pleased you have friends for support ,
I have been lucky i do have a couple of good friends who meet up with me once a month
My son works so i dont see him as often as i would like,
Take care
Sue x
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I can honestly say this is the worst time of my life … i dunno how i have survived it tbh … i sometimes wish i hadnt tbh … its a bit like a living hell isnt it x
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Hi Sue and Deb5 I can certainly relate to that the worst time of my life and yes my husband is on my mind all the time too now I have passed the 1 year mark of his passing I feel now I’m going backwards and the pain is getting worse I have been in touch with my doctor who has passed me onto a Social Prescriber who works at the surgery she has put me onto Talking therapies who hopefully are going to help me get through this as I am now having a lot of anxiety panics lost all interest in everything probably as you said reality kicking in take care Wendy
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It’s coming up to my second year too and I am dreading it X
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Whats talking therapies ? I einder why it feels worse into the second year ? I just feel like im being punished do you ? xx
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Deb5,
Totally agree with what you are saying ,
Sometimes i wish i had gone with my husband that day , i dont know how i have survived ,get anxiety attacks ,
I have just had a facetime with my grandchildren so that has cheered me up,
Difficult situation as my son is divorced and my ex daughter in law,is not very nice or understanding with myself ,
Take care we just have to live our life as best as we can as i am sure our husbands would want us too
Sue x
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Jennison46,
Hi Wendy
Hope the talking therapies help,
I suffer with anxiety attacks,my doctor wanted me to go to cruise bereavement,
I signed up for text from Sue Ryder which they send twice a week ,
Take care
Hugs
Sue x
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