I look after my little grandson on a Monday.Not today as I went to the mass.
I will say Goodnight now.Please keep in touch.x
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Hi Trisha - I read your post earlier and it hit home with me. In the first 24 hours I put together a compilation of some of Cheās favorite songs, the ones he loved to sing. I listened to it today for the first time . It brought me to tears of course, but on some songs I could remember how much emotion and power he sang with and that gave me some strength. Iāve been using music as a therapy, and I was sad to hear that you couldnāt yetā¦it can help to soothe the soul.
And like you, I know that Che would not want me to be so desperately unhappy and in tears all the timeā¦he would want me to to appreciate this gift of life for the time I have remaining. It feels like a very bleak gift right now, but I know that will change.
The first time I genuinely laughed it shook me - my first thought was āthatās me in thereā¦thatās me laughingā - and it gave me hope that I would find my way out of the blackness. And to be able to make another person smile or laugh feels so goodā¦
Sorry youāre not feeling well, and hope youāre better soonā¦and Iām happy for you that you felt fussed overā¦that makes me smileā¦
Heather Diane.
I know what you mean. I have times when, with other people, I forget my pain and even smile. (I have not got to the laughing stage yet!). Me, smiling? It gives me hope; even forgetting for a few moments is something. We will never forget, of course not, but there can be some relief in anotherās company.
My neighbour has two five year old grandchildren and their antics make me smile. So full of life, and when I get a kiss and a hug so full of love.
Kids and animals give it freely, but as kids get older and more self centred they lose that innocence. Animals donāt because they live in the now where it matters. Time has no meaning for them. An animals loyalty has no strings attached.
I agree, music can help. I often play my favourite piece, Beethovenās sixth symphony, āThe Pastoralā. The beauty of that music brings me to tears.
Take care and be kind to yourself.
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Music, my Brian was a musician but I still find it hard to relate to music, especially his music. Why should this be. When I listen to him singing, I swell with pride. His strong voice with so much feeling for the words he sang. It still breaks me in two to listen to him though. Music has always helped me through every up and down in life but this time it brings me no comfort. However I am confident that I will find me again as I am much more sociable all of a sudden, I find myself laughing, I can chat much easily, perhaps I can be better company as I am definitely coming back. I still cry on a whim, I donāt think that will ever stop, have awful days where I see no hope, but I am beginning to find that light a little more often.
So true about animals Jonathan. Dogs do more for mankind than any other animal and their undying love and capability to forgive is amazing. I once read that:
Dogs are Gods Angels, which he sends to us to teach us how to love. How true.
Pat
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Dear Kathy01
Take your time, no time limit with our griefā¦Take each day as it comes, to be around family and friends can be difficult but we becomes good actors and actresses really, as we dont want to let them down by showing our weaknesses BUT, if they love you they need to accept us whatever.
I lost my husband of 31 years 8 months ago and itās been hard and just started facing the world again. Our lives is not gonna be the same again and Iām learning to accept that ālife goes onā and Iām sure your Wife will agree with me with this.
Look after yourself, God bless.
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Dear Kathy01
Take your time, no time limit with our griefā¦Take each day as it comes, to be around family and friends can be difficult but we becomes good actors and actresses really, as we dont want to let them down by showing our weaknesses BUT, if they love you they need to accept us whatever.
I lost my husband of 31 years 8 months ago and itās been hard and just started facing the world again. Our lives is not gonna be the same again and Iām learning to accept that ālife goes onā and Iām sure your Wife will agree with me with this.
Look after yourself, God bless.
Dear Kathy01
Take your time, no time limit with our griefā¦Take each day as it comes, to be around family and friends can be difficult but we becomes good actors and actresses really, as we dont want to let them down by showing our weaknesses BUT, if they love you they need to accept us whatever.
I lost my husband of 31 years 8 months ago and itās been hard and just started facing the world again. Our lives is not gonna be the same again and Iām learning to accept that ālife goes onā and Iām sure your Wife will agree with me with this.
Look after yourself, God bless.
Hope you have had a good week. Iāve been so busy havenāt had much time to think until today when I had a little cry again.The weather has helped to keep me upbeat.And my grandchildren of course.My husbands birthday is coming up on Friday so that will be a little difficult but I am looking forward to being altogether as a family to remember him.
The last message was for Ang W.
Dear Heather Diane
So sorry not to have replied before. I am back at work and life is busy - it helps to be honest though I think it leaves me exhausted but being busy is how I have coped so far.
I am afraid music is still too raw . I have so many videos of him on stage - and before that tapes and it hurts to listen to music with meaning. I can just about manage ānewā music but only for a short while. I have tapes somewhere of songs he had written about me when we were young - he was always so romantic. My son is an accomplished musician too and takes down Garyās guitars and plays them when he is here - I can listen to that - but not for long. But I am glad you can find some joy in music again.
I do try to keep optimistic - and yes I can laugh - and strangely I can talk about him when we were young without crying - but all I need to do is think of him as we were just before he died and that hurts too much. It is like the young us and the older us are different people if that makes sense.
Thank you - I am better - having given to my daughter (for which she told me she was grateful) and we did laugh together about how Gary was with a cold (awful - complete fuss - told me he would not be there by the morning - drama and more drama ) and we decided he would have really milked this one. Oh goodness I do miss that man so .
much.
But I know he is looking after us - just like he always did. He was one special person and I am grateful I had him for as long as I did - and when I think of the mad life we had before the children that makes me smile too.
Take care
Trisha xx
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PeacefSpot, my husbands birthday was in April - he lived when we had BBQs , so for his birthday the 4 kids and their husbands and wife , 4 grandchildren and his sister were all here - we had a beautiful day - full of love and good memories - hard to explain but it felt that he was here and we just couldnāt see him
I wish you a good day on Friday
Sadie xx
Glad you had a good day.I feel my husband is here with me all the time because we spent so much time at home.Homelife ,family and friends was our life .So Friday we will embrace his life and what he meant to us all.And raise a glass to the wonderful man who was my husband.He whould have been 68.
Hello
Glad youāre feeling more up beat, however tears are never far away are they ? I have been on a caravan weekend with my son partner and adorable grandson it was lovely to see them happy , even though we all knew only too well someone was missing and would have loved seeing our grandson having such a good time !
I do hope he is watching over us. Hope whatever your plans are for friday give you a glimmer of light treasure the time with your family , and enjoy remembering the good times xx
So glad you had a good weekend with your family.They do help to bring a little joy into our lives.I also had my grandchildren over to stay this weekend.And looking after the little one tomorrow. It keeps me busy but my husband is always there in my thought.Yes we will enjoy Friday altogether and he will be there with us in spirit. Take care and have a good week.Jeanette.xx
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Hello Trisha
Iāve just enjoyed a weekend away with my son and family and to be honest the music really got to me, ive avoided it at home , however hearing songs from our era being played i found so hard , even the music we didnāt like still hurt! so thank goodness our favourites wasnāt played. I also noticed so many couples just sat not really having a conversation with each other! one lady was on her kindle while her partner enjoyed his pint! I wanted to say eh ! enjoy your time together enjoy each otherās company, you donāt know what is around the corner.
Iām sure everyone one on here would say the same.
Ang x
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Thanks Jeanette, I will be thinking of you xx
Hi Ang. Iāve had a great day looking after my little grandson.But this morning when I woke up I just couldnāt get the thought out of my head about not adding my husbands name when I write the Xmas cards this year and having to tell some people that he had passed.So along came the tears again?x
Iāve been out tonight with friends to a pub quiz and when we walked into the pub a couple we have chatted to over the years were sitting there and he started making comments about me being out with my little sister and then said, āhave you lost him?ā Obviously they didnāt know my wonderful husband passed 4 months agobut after leaving the house feeling quite strong I couldnāt speak and all the strength Iāve found has left me.
She123 you are strong - love make us strong
Sending hugs
Safie x
Ahh.Be strong.Every little step we take is huge.x