So sorry, thinking of you and your cat xx
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ive been having a few bad days, lots of tears, for no reason, other i miss David dreadfully and i was feeling ill and more vulnerable. Then Saturday i received the Grant of Probate i cried for hours, every step like this is like getting rid of him, stupid I know. i now have to register the trusts on the house deeds only to discover i need solicitor to do because of the trusts, i was sole executor but now i have to appoint another trustee, so its another 780 quid to find, and then its another bit if him gone when hes not on deeds. I tried to explain it it his autistic son, but he saw it as i was taking his house off him and had a meltdiwn screaming and shouting at me, then throwing a book across room, not at me, so i tried to leave room to calm him but he followed, so i ended up shouting back at him and insulting him as he was me, i failed myself by doing this and cried , but he calmed, but i couldnt stop and then I had the nightmares of the day he died again. I dont know how to deal with this any more, I just need David back again so much. Sorry to moan i just dont know what to do.
You didnt fail him at all , you did what we all would do. You are grieving as well as trying to deal with practical things its so hard trying to balance everything alone.
I hate having to take Gras name off things its as if he never mattered.
It must be so hard to deal with him although not his fault it still must be exhausting and grieve is exhausting enough onbits own . Hugs Jo xxx
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Oh, Ronnie, I really, really know how you feel because sometimes I lose my patience with my daughter. She often screams at me for no apparent reason and very occasionally I have screamed back. Then the guilt kicks in, knowing she canāt help it, but I should be able to stay calm.
You are only human, donāt torture yourself. You are doing your best and thatās all any of us can do. We are not saints, even though we think we ought to be able to cope with everything, sometimes it just gets too much for anyone to bear.
Do whatever you do to calm yourself. A walk, a bath, anything. Then think how far you have actually come.
As for the Probate, I am still waiting for that. All our stuff is complicated by a Trust Fund for my daughter. I couldnāt face sorting it all so I have asked a Solicitor to do it. There have been several complications already. I am not looking forward to receiving his Bill!
You take care. Xx
No one really prepares you for the paperwork and admin you have to do. It is also at the most difficult time when to be honest your brain isnāt working.
Also you dont get told of things you can claim, like the bereavement fund.
And update on my catā¦ i had to have him put down. I cant believe that i have lost my wife and my two cats in the space of 4 months. We didnt have children so thats my own little family all gone i am heartbroken
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Sorry for lossvof your cat, its awful i know i lost my dog Bobby a week after losing Gra, hugs Jo xx
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so sorry for the loss of your cat, they are part of the family, and you have to grieve their loss too. Why is life so unfair , I cant take much more, im sure others must feel the same.
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Yes Ronnie all the time its one thing after anothet. It seems to be never ending. Hugs jo xxx
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I am so very sorry.
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So sorry to hear about your cat. Itās heartbreaking when you have to have a pet put to sleep. Xx
Donāt weekends just suckā¦
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They do Marie its 12 weeks today, I just want him back. I want my life back. I have never felt so alone. Xxx
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Big hug xx
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Ty Rose I really hate this life we are living, everything seems pointless. Hugs Jo xxx
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How is everyone?
Hiya Marie not bad how are yoi hugs Jo xx
Hey Jo, decided i need to escape for a while. Going to visit my brother in Canada for a while. Need to get away from all this for a bit
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Aww Marie i truly hope you get some rest and solace been away from it all. Hugs jo xxc
ive just spent a couple of days in Dublin with family . I had nerves, even to point of triple checking my bag and forgetting to put my spare leggings in. Had a few tears here, at bed time but ive talked to each night as , this was on our bucket list, we should have been together, but i had a guiness for him and he was with me every step, it been 3 most relaxing days ive had in months, ready to face whats to come back home, i fly back this afternoon.
Hope you find rest in your time away.
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im home, and the tears havent stopped since i woke up, i crued last night whdn stepson came home , he is so down, he cried and talked, he diesnt want to talk to a counselor , as he sats he cant turn the page as tgats letting his dad go and he wants him here with him. He has a nightmares every night now if the day we lost his dad, T has adoergers so its extra hard. Perhaps the increase in the nightmares are his dad saying its time that hell always be here.
i still get rge nightmares and visions popping up at anytime, nurse at drs says its ptsd, but fir T to tell me is a start to say hes proud of me because i went away for a few days and im going out to groups like he wants me too as he doesnt want me to give up. He wants me around, hes worried as he has no one except me, and how hell manage bills if im gone. I know I have to keep going as David wanted , i have to look after T, David told T hed need me and hes only just realising it. Id gladly have given my life for David to live and be well as T needs him, but makes my heart swell with pride that T is now confiding in me and how he cares. There will be more meltdowns, but ill cope cos hes our son, even if hes not mine by blood, i raised him and he does care. I need tears to stop today.
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